Mental Illness
 

My sister, who I love, has a problem. I titled the thread mental illness, but who knows it could be a botfly / T. gondii infestation. I know she has a severe drinking problem as well. I don't know what her problem is, I just know symptoms. I do know what my problem is, she calls me a lot. Sometimes several times a day, at all hours of the day and night.

I want to help her, I feel like there's something she needs and I would like to help her find it, but I don't know what it is or how to get it. Talking with her is an exercise in frustration. She's sometimes speaking clearly, but confusingly. Sometimes she's clearly drunk and I just wrap up the conversation right away. There's a lot of history with her (she is my sister after all) and I love her and want the best for her. But I don't know what to do.

Hell, I don't even know what to ask my friends here. Fuck.

Do you think she is ever suicidal?

:scratches head:

First idea. Could the drinking be a way of self-medicating to suppress/hide from whatever other symptoms/issues she is dealing with?

What do other family members say? In this type of situation, normally a united front is best, and then a family action plan should be put in place. It's very hard for one person to be the support network of someone who is either an alcoholic or suffering from mental illness. In fact, it's almost impossible.

If you don't have other family members to talk to about this, then I'd suggest talking to a mental health professional and describing the symptoms and ask for real advice. I don't know what the rules are where you are, but if the person is violent in any way and the police are called, you can have the person committed for a period of time for assessment. This is obviously not ideal, but sometimes can be a starting point in getting the person to realise that you can't deal with their issues alone anymore.

I would be pretty sure that is the case, Zen

My thought is this: As long as she's not realistically suicidal, set some ground rules about when it's ok to call. Don't answer the phone in the middle of the night. Does she call from her cell or a landline?

You are going to be better placed to help her and understand the problem if you are not burned out and frustrated by too many calls and calls when you are not in your best place mentally (i.e. woken up by the phone....)

While this is a noble and normal instinct for a family member to have, it may not be the best choice right now. If the phone calls aren't helping her (and we know they certainly aren't helping you,) it may be time to set some new boundaries. Whether it would be better to couch it in terms of her getting help for her drinking, or for other symptoms she may have, I don't know. Different people would take greater offense at either suggestion. But if you were going to be able to magically solve her problems, surely you'd have done it by now? She needs more than you can give, and she's not going to get it until you convince her to look elsewhere, preferably to a professional.

Wise is Clodfobble. Al - Anon is a good resource,. Naturally if she is
Is suicidal/homicidal you must act immediately but you know
that. My sons OCD was driving me nuts and, for me, I had to
cut him out of my life b/c he refused any and all help.

Ps - docs can't diagnose until she is sober.

How the F is it that Wolf is out of work?? It's not like there's nothing for her to do!

Seriously, homegirl should start an advice column. I know this person whose mom was a syndicated advice columnist and this chick, (the daughter) now in the autumn of her years has been farting through silk her whole life.

Seriously, homes. Start advising.

eta: I meant Clod, but the same applies to Wolf, although Wolf's column would be more like Dan Savage meets Art Buchwald.

advising == easy
getting paid =/= easy

Oh Zen, you beautiful fool. There,s plenty for wolf to do - its just
That we merkins don't want to pay her! We're just gonna deny them
care and see how that goes.

Hold my meds, watch this!

What did she say when you asked her?

Brianna, just use the code-word: community care.

That is what Martin Bryant was receiving in 1997.

Then he went on a rampage and killed 35 people.