that's why we use "hinder" around here.
;)

10

Several years back I attended a Boy Scout campout with my son's troop. My younger son was about 12 and I guess I never realized how well we had kept the illusion of Santa Claus delivering presents alive for him. He and another kid were bunking in the tent next to mine, and I overheard them talking after "lights out" was called. They were talking about people they thought were important or heros. The other boy who was black, said his hero was President Kennedy. My son said his hero was Santa Claus because he gave away so many presents.

The other kid said, "I don't believe in Santa anymore."
My son replied, " I know there has to be a Santa because my parents are too cheap to give us the kind of gifts we get at Christmas!"

I almost died laughing to myself.

While we were praying during thanksgiving, my stupid baby cousin kept on saying "cheese!". :neutral:

Rest assured, Jesus will punish him for it.

?

for saying *cheese* during the prayers...c'mon footiefoot keep up!!

Just harassing Gamegirl about her complaining, that's all. :)

I forgot about this one, from April or so. My memory was jogged by another conversation.

The Scene: the emergency room waiting area at a local hospital. During little league play, my son, 7, decided he needed to ask the coach something so he got up to go ask. He passed by the on-deck circle at just the wrong time and got clocked beside his right eye with a bat. It was immediately apparent that he would need stitches, so we got a bandage on him from the first aid kit and I drove him over to the hospital.

By this time he had calmed down and I was doing my best to keep him from freaking out at the thought of stitches ("They're gonna sew my skin?????")

"Dad, did you ever get hit with a baseball bat?"

"No, never did."

"Get hit with a ball?"

"No, I didn't, I didn't play baseball."

"Oh. <pause> Had they not invented baseball when you were a boy?"

At this point all the other folks in the waiting room were enjoying this quite a bit as I provided the boy with some much-needed historical context.

reminds me of my favorite Calvin:
Calvin: "Dad, why are old photographs black and white? Didn't they have color film back then?"
Dad: "Of course they did. In fact, those old photographs ARE in color. It's just that the WORLD was black and white then.
Calvin:"Really?"
Dad: "Yeah, the world didn't turn color until sometime in the '30s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.
Calvin:"Oh."
Dad: "Well, truth is stranger than fiction."
Calvin: "THEN WHY ARE OLD PAINTINGS in color? If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted that way?"
Dad: "Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane."
Calvin: "BUT... but how could they possibly have painted in color? Wouldn't their paints have been in shades of gray back then?"
Dad: "Of course, but they changed color like everything else in the '30s.
Calvin: "So why didn't black and white photos turn color too?"
Dad: "Because they were color photographs of black and white, remember?"

my son, at the age of 7 : dad, whats the difference between a catholic and a prostitute?

me : not a lot, son.

You should have shown him "Every Sperm is Sacred."

LOL ! he's now 21 and a huge fan of Monty Python. Maybe I'm not such a crap parent after all. :cool:

The Meaning of Life is already under the tree for SonofV. It's gonna be good.

Shopping with my Dad at the weekend at a second hand video/ DVD stall.

Dad - I want to see if they have Life of Brian
Me - Well they have Monty Python and the Holy Grail...
Dad - That's not Life of Brian
Me - No, it's the Holy Grail

We both looked at eachother blankly.

I meant if they had one they might have the other - and I wondered if he'd misheard me. My Dad probably just thought he was having a "Funny/ Embarrassing Things They Say" moment.