Ask the Transperson
 

I do a support/information/outreach thing on IRC. It's been pretty successful overall. I have read practically everything written by/about transpeople. I am going through my own (difficult) transition.

I've been through the wringer and have survived (so far).

A lot of beginning transfolk have told me that they look up to me as a mentor (!)

I would like to know, would anyone here be interested in asking the tranny a question? It can be about almost anything. Please don't turn it into Embarrass the Tranny though. There ARE limits!

I will answer any question you ask, even anonymously. I will try to do so honestly and correctly, and will include references or footnotes if necessary.

I know that a lot of cisfolk (that's YOU) are just not informed or educated on our plight. Most will never even MEET one of us. We tend to be a shy and reclusive lot. So, any takers?

Why do you suppose that is?

Pronouns confuse me in this context. Can you give me any widely acceptable terms to use? "Transperson" does not fall trippingly from the tongue.

I am not the appropriate person to ask in this thread.

I'm directing my question to Pamela, if that's what you were referring to UT, since she's offering insights.

Do you think the extra cost of a six speed trans, over a four, is worth the expense?

Just kidding you. ;)
Wouldn't most people going to all the trouble and expense of a procedure you don't see every day... well you do, but most of the great unwashed don't... almost automatically get thrust into the teacher/mentor role?

Seems that role would be a natural for you because being a little older you've been out there dealing with life and the world...

Is there one thing that comes to mind that would make your transition easier?

What might someone do or not do to support your transition? What do you wish people in general would do differently in regards to the new you?

I can surely relate to your transition in a way. Not transgender but my own transition is OUT of the US.

Americans ( or westerners ) don't understand it, don't agree with it, and don't support it but this is the new me. The first time that I left North America I felt different. Better. Freer. Since then I've been working at getting out for good. Despite the majority of the world's population trying to get IN to the US, I'm getting out. For good.

That's not as drastic of a change as you've made but in that way I can sympathize with the challenges of your journey.

A list of potential questions is too long. However start with the obvious. What question addresses a most problematic plight? What is/are a greatest difficulty?

You mean other than you?

: )))) just kidding, couldn't resist, when I was teaching I had a comeback for everyone like you who had to preface a question with their methodology for deriving it

We understand just fine, you've gone native. We don't have any problem with that. You've simply failed to understand that charity begins at home. You've made your choices, now live with them, we have.

Certainly. Please use the pronouns that correspond to the gender that the person in question is presenting to you, even if you aren't "fooled". If still in doubt, it is not offensive to simply ask "What pronouns do you prefer?"

Great question.

I am not familiar with your situation (I've been away for a long time) but I can sympathize and I have even considered moving out myself.

The best thing people can do to make this easier on me is to simply use my new name and gender pronouns. I still get a lot of people who use the OLD ones. I can understand that you knew me for many years as Brian, but please, try to make the effort. We will really appreiate it and every time we hear our new name, it is enpowering and affirming in ways that defy articulation.

Love

Pam

Please limit yourself to only a few at a time. I prefer bullet presentation so that I can edit in my answers. Do your worst! :)


Oh, my most problematic plight? I can really live without the death threats. I've gotten two so far, with one coming along with attempts to run me off the highway. Fortunately, I was able to evade the jerks. But that's the most obvious plight.

Why is it that some people think that it's all right to harm us? I have my theories but no real research to back them up. I am waiting for a university or government grant.

Are you doing this because you feel wrong inside your skin? like you really SHOULD have been a chick?

and if that's a yes...what if, when it's all complete.... you STILL feel wrong inside your skin?

I have no idea. Perhaps there are Ls aboard that we don't know about and they have chosen not to tell everyone.

After all, I don't recall you announcing YOUR personal taste in partners! :)

It's just a preference. Being gay (or straight or whatever) isn't very important, especially here in a forum. I prefer knowing someone's mind. Are they intellectually stimulating? Yep. That's what *I* look for first.