Yes, head up shoulders back. Take care of today's business today. I love her but now I know to just expect lies and more lies.

When he beats her - and he will, and blame it on his 'PTSD' and 'nerves', I will help her. But for now I've been relegated to the status of after-the-fact onlooker.

ptsd is not a valid defense in domestic violence. in the state where i live, if an officers sees evidence of an assault or has a statement within 24 hours of the event, he must make an arrest without a warrant.

not all with ptsd are violent, some present with hyper vigilance and ocd behavior

I'm not gonna have the money to pay my rent.

will they let you make a late payment?

First; Orthodoc. Wow. what a punch in the neck from the outfield. You can do NOTHING to stop this, any attempt will glue her even more to him. I know you know this but sometimes, when in crisis, we forget the things we can and cannot control. if you really want to fuck this guy up video tape him doing his martial arts/cage fights (wha..?) and send them to Social Security. they'd LOVE to drop the frauds, especially now. Without that check your daughter might come 'round; or hate you forever. I don't know. My younger sister married a schizo-type, conspiracy theorist who can't get along with anyone long enough to hold a job (they're all after him) so he delivers newspapers which is a job he can do alone and at night. She's been married to him for like, 22 years now. They understand one another though no one else on earth does.

@Moar----parents give you a loan? a pal? anyone? It takes a LOT to evict someone---maybe the landlord will give you a break?
My dad's been a landlord since 1964----it's a PITA to evict someone; footwork, paperwork, maybe involve lawyers....see if he'll work with you.

I'd love to report this guy to Social Security but don't know if it can be done anonymously. If not, she'll hate me forever. Her father and I are already being set up as the evil parents who disapprove of everything.

you most certainly can do it anonymously.

call your local office.

Thanks. His FB page alone has enough to hang him out to dry. Thanks.

you can report anonymously. they used to have a fraud hot line.

OMG! He's got the balls to have a FB page showcasing his prowess whilst cashing checks? Oh, honey, if it weren't so stupid it would be funny. Really?

REALLY? I worked for a company that regularly employed PI's (detectives) to prove their claims were false. ss really frowns on that shit.

Really. Unbelievably stupid, I know. Arrogant asshole. People get away with this stuff because there are so many of them, ss can't keep up.

They taped some dude collecting disability checks for his broken too hard to work back issues. He was doing snatches.

He was all over the papers. So he got busted for his disability and shamed for the rest of society.

I laughed and I laughed.

No reason to not turn him in. You're not helping your daughter or anyone.

For example, those of us who pay taxes? We no likey fraud fuckin' pieces of shit.

What his name?

Send his info to one of us. We can drop the dime on him.

Ortho...it seems like your daughter is going through a bit of a change in her thinking. You're probably right to it down to the influence of this fellow she's with. Sounds remarkably like my behaviour as a late teen/early 20 something.

To be honest, I know now that I was reacting to my over protective parents. In the way that until I was finished high school, I wasn't allowed to do anything, and i mean ANYTHING. No parties, no going anywhere with friends except occasionally to the shops in town. No learning how to be sensible about taking care of myself. All of a sudden, I finished school and my father said, "Ok, you're in charge now, so off you go. Just let us know if you're going to be home late."

Boy did I fuck my life up. In a big way.

Anyway, I guess things have turned out ok in the end, but holy hell it's been a hard road, and still is to some extent because I have to now explain my own stupid choices to my own teenage kids and try to explain how differently I've done things.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that she's where she is for reasons she probably doesn't even understand yet. She'll get there in the end thanks to the ground work you and your husband have put in. I know it's impossible not to, but don't blame yourself too much. Just remember that you were doing the best you could and every decision you ever made for her was meant to help her. I've no doubt she'll get her shit together sooner or later, but it will probably have to hit rock bottom with this bloke before she does. Just try and be prepared for the rocky road you know is coming. xxx

mtp, did you work something out about your rent yet?