What's making you feel bitter-sweet today?
Well yesterday,..
I used the wallet tool Sundae gave me. It was a moment. |
Came across this today... 1985, damn. 32 years ago.
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Minifob has a crush on a girl at school. A couple months ago he freely admitted he thought she was cute, and was surprised and chagrined when the group of girls she was with started giggling like mad.
Today, he had a friend pass on the message that he liked her, and her response was that she knew. I asked if she said she liked him back, because that's pretty important information, and he said he doesn't want to ask her that part just yet. "Timing's pretty important, you know?" Yeah, son. It is. This thing about parenting, where you know you're going to have to watch the inevitable parts of life that suck, like heartbreak (maybe not this one, but eventually)... goddamn. |
Clodfobble, my friend, you have a flair for understatement.
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sweet pain
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I now have a real will. No one in my family gets anything. No one. Nothing. Hopefully, there will be nothing left to leave. I'll be cremated, and my ashes thrown in the trash. I've been thrown away more than once in life, might as well be thrown away in death.
It'll be like I was never here. |
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@clodfobble. I know what you mean. I worry about when I die and the pain my kids will go through then. I'm hoping I make it to their 40s. Probably will, but I'll be in my 80s. The mm already goes through occasional crying jags when she thinks about the inevitability of death. We've looked at mortality from a number of atheist angles; Conservation of matter and energy, where were we before we arrived? Did we feel the same way about leaving there to come here? Is the cycle of life and death analogous to the seasons? Where do the plants go and how do they come back? Do we do something similar? Is death sometimes welcome when you are very old and tired? Is it like sleeping? When you sleep, the world you perceive ceases to exist until you wake up. The rest of us are still here, but not to you. (cf the Buddhist trinity for existence: 1. There must be a perceiver. 2. There must be a thing to be perceived. 3. There must be consciousness. Without all three present nothing exists) And last and maybe most importantly, Would you want to live forever getting older and older until you were a tiny little shriveled up raisin of a person? I'm bittersweet about selling all my photo gear. I've been moving it on eBay and slowly clawing my way out of debt. It feels good and lighter to let go of it and to bring some cash in and pay off bills, but it also freighted with so many associations of my childhood, when I started. It's acknowledging that some ships have sailed, but at the same time it is allowing new ships to dock and take on passengers. |
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And the SS Gravdigr is taking on no more passengers. |
If you die, I'll never forgive you. :p:
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So, this evening I threw my dad off a bridge.
S'ok. He actually wanted me to. He always said he wanted his ashes spread on the 405 Freeway, where he literally spent years of his life in traffic for his job as the Western Regional Manager of Pfizer's hospital supply division. I also left some of his ashes at the corner of the property where my folks used to live, and earlier this afternoon I dug a little hole in the grass at my mom's grave and poured some of dad's ashes in there. My job is done. :neutral: |
Well done.:comfort:
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Thanks, xoB. I feel good about it, but, you know . . . bittersweet.
My SIL and I thought long and hard about how to do this without getting arrested or causing a wreck. ;) Instead of driving down the freeway leaving a trail of dust and drama behind us, we decided to slowly sprinkle a cup of dad's ashes off an overpass. We chose Sunset Blvd. Then, we drove "west on Sunset, to the sea . . . The end of a perfect day." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAuPMJlK92s :o |
Well done Glinda
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Nice. I like that.
Not for my ashes, but you know what I mean. |
:thankyou:
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