Ass Wiping! Do you sit or stand?
 

In the spirit of all things toilet ("take a seat" and "do you piss in the shower") i have come up with a question of my own.

:Flush:

I was having a conversation with a mate about bathroom habits the other day and the topic of ass wiping was brought up. I asked if he remained seated to wipe, or stood up.

One of us were a stand up and the other a sit down wiper. there were equal arguments as to which was better:

The sit down: You have to put you hand into the toilet and your access is limited.

The stand up: Things could get smooshed in between cheeks, and get rather uh.. messy!

:turd:

I'm a sitter, unless it's a public restroom.

Which brings me to another question...

A public restroom.. ?

Now i'm not talking about peeing here, as i'm sure you all figured out.. Do you actually "number two" in a public restroom?

Sometimes it's unavoidable.

I'm a splasher. A turd ejected with enough force can add the convenience of a bidet to any ordinary toilet.

Ugh. Nasty.

more of a leaner.. sitting up all the way is too much trouble..shift.. wipe.. but do you know about the courtesy flush?

oh lordy!!

please tell of the courtesy flush!!

uh well. once you have 'made your deposit' (aka let the kids off at the pool) and you live with someone. or are just visiting...... uh once you make your initial 'deposit' it's a courtesy flush.. (you're not stinking up the house) after that it's the flush flush... maybe I'm weird like that

On a warship it is usual, nay, expected practise to courtesy flush. Not necessarily to remove unsavoury odours but to decrease the likelihood of blockage. The mt's (marine technician's) first question upon arrival is whether there was a courtesy flush. A seasoned hand will respond in the affirmative regardless but a greenhorn, should his/her response be "huh", will find themselves elbow deep in shit under the watchful eye of the supervising mt.

At some point these threads are going to reach the level of self-parody.

HA HA HA HA!!!! my hubby and i have this argument all the time, he's a sitter, i'm a stand up and lean forward a bittter. he uses 20 times the paper i do, and it drives me nuts. if you'd stand up and bend over a bit, you get a whole lot cleaner, quicker. i can't stand sticking my hand IN the potty, even though i clean it, so i know it's CLEAN. this argument is going to get interesting when we start potty training our kid in the next 6 mo or so...as for a public potty, OMG put paper on the seat to do your biz, then stand up to finsh. and flush with your foot!

girls don't poop.

What's the big deal with the public bathrooms? As long as there are no visible soiled areas on the toilet seat, what's the problem? Just do your business, make sure not to touch your face, rub your eyes, etc. until you WASH YOUR HANDS. Then use a shirt sleeve or paper towel to open the door as you leave.

Public bathrooms are cleaner than lots of other places you come into contact with daily. You want to freak out about germs, freak out about door handles. That's where the germs are. Or copiers/fax machines at work.

Just do your business, make sure not to touch your face, rub your eyes, etc. until you WASH YOUR HANDS.

What about drinking a beer while on the pot? Eating, even? Would that be legal?

The cirrrrcle of liiiife...

Ugh. My husband and I are going through this now with our daughter. Because her legs still aren't long enough to touch the floor when she's sitting on the toilet, she can't balance on just one hand and wipe while sitting. So she stands, which leads to every damn pair of underwear having skid marks on it. We have tried and tried to get her to bend over a little and wipe properly, but she won't unless we're there watching her every time.