Driving from Ohio to Maine, round about NYC. My then 6 year-old son, riding in the backseat, looks around, apropos of nothing, and states the following: "I'm going to be sarcastic now." and then was dead silent for the next forty miles.

My son met a pregnant woman for the first time and she let him see her tummy "with the baby inside" now he goes to everyone he meets and yanks their shirt up and "checks them for a baby". It is hard to head him off in time... You learn a lot about people's personalities in how they react to this.

We're bringing lil Griff home from the hospital and can see lil Pete has a problem, arms folded across the chest lower lip hanging, eyes welling up. In her 2 years and 11 days we never got a cross word but now its "MY DON"T WANT NO STINKIN' BABY!" She got it out then and there with no trouble since. Where the heck did she pick up stinkin'?

You should never have let her watch American Movie Classics.

Yeah, you've got a Bogie fan on your hands. Watch out when she wants to do a remake of the African Queen.

Are you thinking of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre - "We don't need no stinkin' badges"? Or have I forgotten some AQ lore?

I think I'm thinking of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, but then I'm not sure what AQ lore is.

AQ Lore

Looks pretty much okay, just so long as the kid doesn't reinact the scene with the leeches. I saw that as an impressionable young child. Weirds me out to this day.

My two year old can skateboard now! I'm very proud.

I think the whiskey drinking maybe should wait until high school at least. Or perhaps as a prelude to the first tattoo...

The other night we were sitting around the dinner table and my 10yr old daughter was trying to determine how old I am. My mate and my 18yr old son (who know) were not helping matters much. The most information I would give her was, "old...very, very old".

So my mate starts asking questions to help her narrow it down.

He asks her, "When mom was little, were there cars or horse and buggies?"

She replies without hesitation, "Horse and buggies!".

"Did they have toilet paper back then?", he asks.

"Nope." She responds.

"How about toilets?", he inquires.

She answers, "Yup, they had toilets".

He looks at me and straight faced, mumbles, "They had the technology to create toilets, but not toilet paper..hmmm".

I ask what people used to wipe with if there was no toilet paper. She quickly tells me, "Leaves!".

*Cough* :3_eyes:

My 18yr old opines that they must have had baskets with leaves in them in the bathroom to wipe with.

My 10yr old agrees enthusiastically.

I suggested that possibly one could have grown a tree right outside the bathroom window for a ready made source of 'wiping material'.

Then I realized this would probably create huge problems with MY kids..so I mimic'd what I forsaw happening in such a situation.

"MOOOOooooooOOOOM!!! Shane used ALL the leaves right by the window!! And now I can't reach any!!! It's NOT FAIR!!!!!!"

We all collapsed into uncontrollable laughter.

Speaking of poop,

When I came in for lunch today inch3 said:
"Daddy, will you talk to me?" (first time he's ever asked that, usually he does most of the talking)
"Sure, but I have to go to the potty first. You can follow me and I'll talk to you when I'm done."

(follows me, opens the door and stands there in the doorway)

inch3: "You need to have a tape measure when you poop."
foot3: "Oh yeah? Why's that?" (WTF and where is this going?)
inch3: "Because you need to cut wood."
foot3: "Really? I didn't know that."

So there you have it. Are we aptly named or what?

The other day while it was raining, I was washing out a garbage barrel. Inch3 is watching from the porch and says: "Why don't you leave it in the rain and it will fill up with water?"

It's scary.

from the mouths of babes !!!!

SonofV handed me a little plastic "jewel",
http://www.costumejewel.com/earring/...redhearter.jpg
a faceted red heart, and said, "Because you don't get enough love."