The Cellar - Transgender young people detransitioning

Welp, since you asked...

I don't hold with youth transition, despite being at odds with trans orthodoxy. I'm cool with crossdressing and makeup and hairstyles and lots and lots of proper therapy, but absolutely no interfering with body chemistry until they are old and wise enough to fully understand the consequences and risks. And there are many. Serious, even life-threatening consequences that many supportive therapists and well-meaning friends don't mention.

Something like 80% of children change their mind around 15-18 years old. Drugs will ruin any chance of a normal relationship for those.

When I was eight, I knew for SURE that I was really an astronaut. I wore NASA hats and patches, had stickers on my laundry hamper, even a lunar lander tent in the yard. But that didn't make me an astronaut. And I changed my mind like 100 times since then.

I also do not really hold with even bringing the subjects of transsexuality and homosexuality up with children who still think muppets are real. The subject matter is far too mature and complicated for such young minds who are struggling with weighty topics like pb&j or grilled cheese for lunch, who would win, Superman or Batman, multiplication tables and phonics (do they even teach that anymore?) Let kids grow up at their own pace and answer questions as they come up with answers that are age-appropriate.

I once explained to a seven-year-old about Santa when some smart-arse at school told him that Santa wasn't real. Wasn't easy, as I remember when I found out that there was no real Jolly Red Elf. But it wasn't until my late teens that I finally understood that Santa isn't a real person, it's a concept personified by a fictional character to make it understandable to young children (and coerce some good behavior for a month :) )

The same goes or so-called gender identity. The concept is too complicated for a young mind. Let them explore and don't panic. Don't push anything and nearly all of it will evaporate in a little while.

And while I'm on the subject, I have been hearing lately that there are some people trying to eliminate the "gatekeeper" model of therapy so that hormones and even surgery are as easily obtained as aspirin and a nose-job. As much as I dislike having to justify and "prove" myself to some shrink that listens to new-age music and has a mood ring on her desk, there is a very good reason or this and it should remain and maybe even get strengthened. Read Walt Heyer's website. Read the stories within. There is a common thread to most of them. Nearly all somehow bypassed the disinterested third-party observer who can say stop! Rethink this before you do something that you cannot take back or undo.

To sum it up, no one should push children to do anything other than their chores and homework. Transition is not for children, any more than liquor or tobacco or tattoos are. All have negative consequences and should be left to adults to choose or not. Never children. Wearing a dress isn't transition. It's playing dress-up, which all kids do to some extent. It's 100% reversible and harmless. Makeup washes off. Hormones change stuff internally and cannot be reversed.

Some people need to realize that it is okay to be an effeminate boy or a masculine girl. One of my best friends growing up was a total tomboy. She is now a healthy and happy woman. That doesn't make the kid trans.

So just chill!

Oh, one other thing. That young boy in Texas who was in the news recently. His mother is using Genecis for the transition care. They are notorious for pushing transition and never challenging the patient to consider NOT transitioning. They assume everyone brought to them is trans and does everything possible to see that they transition, even strongly encouraging kids who are wavering to stick by the program and keep going. This is very wrong. All people considering transition should talk to both sides before starting. Talk to someone who has transitioned and someone else who has DE-transitioned. Or at least watch a lecture.

One of our losg-lost users, Lisa, once described her transition to me as "she dragged herself kicking and screaming into the operating room". That's how it should be. As we say, "Transition ain't for sissies!" That is very true. I, myself, am always questioning myself and analyzing my motives and checking to see if I have changed my mind. So far, all is good. I'm happier this way than I've ever been. But all of life's problems are still there, no matter what. Being a girl doesn't change a thing when it comes to paying the bills, or the car breaking down, or the weather or winter blahs. The depression is always there, lurking but really nothing more than a dark corner of my mind, something that goes bump in the night but won't hurt me. It only affects me at low points. It goes away if I talk to friends or force myself to do something positive. My therapist challenges me all the time and that's a good thing. A therapist who only supports me isn't helping me really.

That young boy's mother is harming him with kindness, not helping him. His father is right. I support the father in his fight to stop the rush to transition.

I'll get off my soapbox now and let my opinion percolate. Agree with me or not.

Love

Pamela