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-   -   What's upsetting you today? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=14114)

Clodfobble 06-16-2011 07:32 PM

You're not alone, UT. Right now is a bad season for a lot of people I know, myself included. You can make it. One day at a time and fuck everything else, yeah?

footfootfoot 06-16-2011 10:14 PM

UT, I'm there with you and here for you too. You know it's bad when you are nose deep in shit and you feel like you're doing better.

Do what you can and let yourself rest and do what you need to do.

I'm at 60mg of fluoxetine and it is barely making a dent. I can only say that I share the feelings.

We all care about you.

DanaC 06-17-2011 06:52 AM

Shit UT, that sucks. Just keep in mind that this too will pass.

I've been struggling with depression for a few months now. Day after day goes by and I just cannot make myself do what needs to be done. It's bizarre. Like sitting down and actually engaging with the subject I am supposed to love is physically impossible. I end up sitting at the computer, bored, just bouncing between two or three sites for hours, and just can't make myself do anything else.

I find my thoughts are going down dark paths more than ever. LIke I am 'practising' for the deaths I'll have to deal with (Pilau, Mum, my brother, friends). There's this ever present shadow and I daren't let myself future pace antything because it all just starts to look impossible and bleak. Like the world has shrunk down.

This too will pass. It's all the comfort I can think of.

Sundae 06-17-2011 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha (Post 740426)
I have two sick boys at home with me today. I'm waiting for the third one so I have the trifecta.

Hope it's just something passing through, Ali.
Bet it's hellish while it does though.
Fingerers crossed for Max.

UT - yep, been where you are.
Doesn't help though.
Just best wishes. Came through it before, can handle it again. I promise.

footfootfoot 06-17-2011 02:17 PM

The usual suspects

infinite monkey 06-17-2011 02:33 PM

Do threats of violence warrant a call to authorities? Why yes, yes they do.

Spexxvet 06-17-2011 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 740618)
Do threats of violence warrant a call to authorities? Why yes, yes they do.

Did you?

infinite monkey 06-17-2011 03:04 PM

No, but I should.

Some people just don't get it. Rail against society while offering no solutions, contributing nothing but complaints, and making people feel worse than they do.

I've been threatened over situations I have no control over. I'm no automaton; I try to help as best I can, as much as the law allows. I've been afraid of walking to my car, not knowing what "i didn't get what I wanted" person might be lying in wait.

I don't find the comments so glib or innocent as we could pretend they are.

My hands are shaking so much I couldn't hit the numbers on the phone anyway.

I'm about done. If that's what passes for reasonable political opinion or 'discourse' in this place, if silence promotes more of the same, then what the fuck am I even doing here.

It's not worth my health, and I'll tell you my BP is through the roof right now.

All because of an ignorant elitist asshole. :(

Here's hoping the asshole puckered for a second when (IF) he realized just how far he'd taken it.

:headshake indeed.

ZenGum 06-18-2011 03:27 AM

Infikey, I would say, call security and/or cops whenever reasonably justified. Especially in the land of the free-to-bear-arms.

limey 06-18-2011 08:41 AM

UT - you've written so many wise words here for others who were in the depths of depression. Please try to hold them in your own thoughts for yourself in your dark hours. As to suicide - please don't. You have no idea how you'd be missed by you family and friends. Please. Believe me on that one. Call a suicide line, or the Samaritans ....

Spexxvet 06-18-2011 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 740623)
No, but I should.

Yes, you should. There's no reason that you should allow yourself to be berated or threatened. You're nobody's whipping boy. Let professionals handle it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad (Post 740335)
Suicidal thoughts. I think my depression is breaking through now as everything feels like it's just turning to shit. I had a nice crying jag yesterday. Haven't done that in years.

See your professional. Change your meds. It may feel like it's turning to shit, but it may just be your brain chemicals talking. How many sites have you designed already?

Undertoad 06-18-2011 12:41 PM

32

Undertoad 06-21-2011 12:36 AM

34

jimhelm 06-21-2011 01:09 AM

when you consider suicide, you should always remember to consider killing what's causing you to feel that way. it aint you. take action against the smallest of your obstacles first. then the smallest one that's left after it's dead.

you are not the problem. you are just you. and i love you. and so do we all.

srsly.

Undertoad 06-21-2011 02:54 AM

Thanks man. I love you right back and all of you.

This one is going to turn out to be 80% meds, I know it now. The 20% of it that's real life suckage doesn't provoke this kind of response. Been better the last two days, as well.


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