annoying sayings
 

When people say," Everything happens for a reason"

Something in me says, "no"

I have not seen bad things happen to people that brings about any good outcome that the person themselves didn't create. The saying seems to imply that by grand design this happened so that something better may transpire.

I think bad things happen just because they do. I think good things happen when the intergrity of the human spirit presses onward to create something better.

Whenever I hear that saying something just sticks in my craw. I know that it is said with the best intentions but it just annoys me.

What are the sayings that peeve you and why?

"Skating on wet ice" is one that annoys me for a number of reasons, not least of which is that it isn't a saying at all.

I'm so with you there Sky.

Along the same lines is "When God closes a door he opens a window" from people whose closest connection with religion is saying, "Jesus Christ!" when something goes wrong.

I also hate, "PC gone mad" because it's so lazy and is rarely used appropriately. In fact if someone says that, it's usually in response to a story that's been twisted in some way anyway.

"Thinking outside the box". I don't have a box, I have a brain, and it is a living organ. I can't think outside of it, sorry.

Oh and Cold Hands Warm Heart. Because I never have cold hands, and I hate it when people put theirs on me - it's creepy. And cold-hearted.

"It is what it is." I've been hearing it a lot lately. Makes my skin crawl.

Well, what goes around comes around.

when life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

I'd like to slap the fukker that first said that. Then stuff a lemon in his mouth.

"Everything will be okay" Okay, granted, I understand that under bad circumstances people don't always know what to say and they're trying to comfort you. But nine times out of ten, I KNOW everything's going to be okay, I DON'T need to be reminded, and I'm thinking about RIGHT NOW, when things are definitely NOT okay.

This is when fast acting anxiolytics come in very handy. I recommend xanax. I also recommend alcohol, a smoke and a quickie. If none of these are available, try a mantra. I like, "I'm NOT living in 16th Century Germany...I'm NOT living in 16th Century Germany..."

My old boss used to say "Tomorrow is another day."

I'd come back at him with "Also, next Thursday is another day."

Alcohol and a quickie- usually obtainable. A smoke... not if the kid's nearby. And I'm on anti-anxiety drugs :D

There's a Dilbert strip... sorry I can't find it to post.

In the first panel some character says, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. The second panel: Dogbert responds, sure, but that's assuming life will also provide ice, a pitcher, some sugar and glasses.

In the third panel the two stop. The sidewalk they've been walking on has lemons, ice cubes, a pitcher, sugar, and glasses. Dogbert explodes with fury: "WHAT?? NO NAPKINS??"


I'm an introvert. The problem with that is, some people consider introversion to be a disease that needs to be "cured." So, my annoying sayings are anything that smacks of this mind-set. "You should get out and meet some more people.. you'd be happier." Etc.

Who do you need to meet? You're already here!

I agree with all the above!

Other sayings that annoy me are most of the beautides. Sorry god. I hope that dosn't make me a blasphemer.

There are alot of struggling old people that give to corrupt churches on these premises alone.

I used to go to church when I was a poor single mom with a small child. I gave tithe and had to borrow from the church to get milk.

One day I had an aphiphany or maybe it was god speaking to my heart. It was KEEP YOUR MONEY AND BUY YOUR OWN GODDAMN MILK.

Much like, "Everything happens for a reason".......

"It's all for the best."

You can combine both of them and be a real trifle twit.

Someone that was close to me died and that's what I was told. It isn't a good catch-all.

Once it was repeated over and over, I lost it, and began to describe why it wasn't "all for the best".


It's also All for the best if I beat you if you say that, one more time.

Yea. Knee jerk. Major.

That just pisses me off all over again. Carry on!

Here are two:
* Not to mention...
and
* Let me explain...

Why do people say, "not to mention," and then they mention what ever it is?

"You'll have plenty of time to sleep when you're dead."

Said to me by a temporary co-worker some time back, after I complained how tired I was, while working 14 hour days in the midst of the busy season.

Since he wasn't full-time, he was allowed to leave by 5PM. But I couldn't say anything smarmy back to him, because he had a debilitating illness that kept him from working more than six or seven hours a day anyway. So I had no other choice except to run off screaming into the night. :haha:

"Did you find everything all right?"

No, you moron, that's why I'm standing here spending $250 at the fucking Target, because I didn't find everything!

and if you say "no," they ignore you anyway.

oh, and "[whatever] is go gay/ghey" used as an derogative. Pisses me off royally everytime. Me and Hillary Duff agree.

Don't see what's wrong with "what's more..." ...."Do the math" pisses me off. I can't help myself, I hear it and my mind fills in the missing 's'.

Annoyingly, this insidious little phrase has wormed its way into my consciousness and I find myself saying it from time to time. Grrr.

Welcome to the Cellar by the way *smiles*

Oh hey, Cic, you might want to add "God doesn't give us more than we can cope with" to that list.

HLJ 'not to mention' is something that gets used a lot in the UK. I think it's a fairly British style if phrase. Like the phrase "not inconsiderable": on the one hand it means the same as 'considerabe', but it has a different emphasis and tone. Likewise 'not to mention' is a way of throwing a particular emphasis or focus onto the thing you are about to mention.

My goal is to start dropping these sayings into various posts around The Cellar.


Or do you think that that's too gay?

I'm sorry, then - I am one of those annoying people who do say things like "everything happens for a reason," or "something good will come of it," because pollyanna that I am, I believe it. I can think of a few situations that are just flat-out awful beyond redemption, but most everyday problems do indeed have "silver linings."

Like losing your job and discovering that wasn't the right career path to fulfill you anyhow. Or not getting the job your really wanted, but then getting a better one down the line. Or getting dumped by a guy you really loved, then meeting someone better.

Sometimes those things aren't as obvious. For example, when my father had a stroke and died a year later, I was (of course) devastated. I quit my job because my parents had been my kids' daycare and paying for a sitter for two of them would wipe out my paycheck. I'm so glad I had that opportunity to be a full time mom, even though we were really poor. And when he died, it really got me thinking about how short life was - I started doing what I should've been doing long ago, writing and submitting and getting published, because I thought if life's so damn short, I don't have the luxury of being timid about it! My mom died. Inheritance = college tuition + motivation to honor her memory by doing my best at it!

That doesn't change the fact that it was purely awful to have my parents die. But if life gives you lemons...really, trite or not, you can choose to wallow in self-pity, or you can choose to find what actually might be good about the situation, even if that's nothing more than a challenge for personal growth. Life may not also give you a pitcher of water, ice and sugar -- getting them is up to you, and if you sit around waiting for them to be delivered to your door, I guess you're right -- if it did happen for a reason, it was lost on you.

So there.

The sayings that tick me off the most are malapropisms and mixed metaphors. Like the ones I can't think of right now.

Oh, and let's see...."that's random," used by tweens and teens who don't seem to know what "random" means.

I think the main point, Juniper, in people's complaints about such phrases as "everything turns out all right in the end" or "It will be okay" isn't so much the phrases themselves, as the lack of thought/consideration of the person uttering them, the knee-jerk reaction that causes utterance of such phrases, and how trite those phrases have become.

Or that hearing those type of phrases just doesnt give any comfort at the time.

What's your position on "festive?"

Exactly, like the ones on the tip of your tongue but, never mind, drift.
That's part of the "skating on wet ice" problem for me. The physics of skating is that the extreme pressure under the blade of the skate causes the ice to melt locally so you are always skating on wet ice. Not to mention (hahahahahahneeneneerennnnernenenrnernerner neener) that the expression is SKATING ON THIN ICE which is inherently dangerous! helleaux??? and lastly, even if the ice were covered with a thin pool of water it wouldn't really be an issue if you were skating and not falling on your ass.

but whatever, it is what it is, life gives you lemons and you grab it by the horns, is what I always don't say.

I am really glad that I read this thread. Next time some one is in the emotional ringer and looks to me for a little or a lot of support, instead of telling them that it will be o.k.....I'll tell them looks like your just fucked. In fact I know the answer for you, God hates you. Well that's a lie too, there is no God or underling spiritual meaning in the world and you obviously got yourself into the emotional ringer all on your lonesome, and you'll just have to get yourself out. So, your fucked. Have a fucked day. :)

Oh, and nothing is what it is, it's something else, and you can't really see what it is because of your faith, or belief, or lack of faith or lack of education or lack of common sense or lack of blah blah blah...so your fucked. Have a fucked day :)

...silly spellings like "hai" and "helleaux."

Just kidding. I think they're cute and creative. A lot better than ur txt spk, sry!

Juni: and irony, don't forget irony.

Joe: Try "Dude, you are soooo fucked, I'm sure glad I'm not you."Don't forget to rub some salt in it!

I don't like irony very much. Must be why I'm getting wrinkled. I'm more of a wash & wear gal, myself.

"Its All Good!"
Its never "all " good! LOL!

My SIL's favorite saying, for almost everyone: "s/he's got issues."

What are issues, exactly?

I've tried that. It's often not well received.

can't imagine why . . .

Along the lines of the comforting nonsense...

"Just remember, it could always be worse." especially if it's coupled with "at least you're not _________."

Yes, I realize that I'm not starving, or being murdered/beaten/taken advantage of/poor/dying/in poor health, but everyone has their own problems that feel like a big deal, even if they're not life-threatening!

It irks me when people say "same difference" or "I'm a Republican"

Oh, I'll say that about myself sometimes. "If this is the worst thing that happens to me today," I'll say, "I'm in pretty good shape."

When things are going down the shitter, it does not comfort me in the slightest to know that one day things might be better. And I think it's a smug get-out from people who are not suffering to brush off your pain with those phrases.

The most remarkable thing anyone said to me when my first serious boyfriend walked out (literally, we were living together) was, "I'm sorry. It really hurts doesn't it?" Bizarrely it was the most comforting, because she looked me in the eye and said it with sympathy, rather than feeling embarrassed when confronted by emotion and obvious failure.

From that day on I've always tried to consider the situation, the person and the emotion rather than trotting out trite phrases. Of course this does sometimes mean I mouth platitudes - some people seem to need them. The only things I won't say are to do with God and angels and heaven because that would be hypocritical.

Sympathy and understanding are wonderful. With humour, even better. But for me, the cliches are most often used by people as a shield rather than a blanket.

A really petty one here from me, people who say "see you later" instead of goodbye on a phone call. No you won't see me later, you're working on a Helpline in Scotland - I am unlikely to even speak to you again, let alone see you. Pick, pick.

lol.

That's a gem. Thanks Radar.

If things are going down the shitter, I honestly prefer someone to tell me, "Yep. You're pretty fucked," then give me a trite, thoughtless, "It's not that bad, things will be ok".

When someone said something like that to me at the way wrong time, it was what she thought was the best outcome for her. Because she's a nutbag that was glad her ex was out of the way of her life finally, and she was now the person that gained the financial profit from the loss. The ex is dead and can't see the kid anymore and I can move on with my new boyfriend and all this cash!! Damn right she thought it was all for the best. Which is why I have the knee jerk.

The feeling of loss went:
Who are we to understand the mysterious works of god and question that now that it has worked out for the best for me? woo-hoo!! We are going to Disneyland! This works well because I lost my job as a child psychologist for trying to kill my own. Now I have been given all this money and don't have to worry about the ex visiting the kid so much.....It's "all for the best". You'll see. My boyfriend won't have to worry about the ex hanging around, and be uncomfortable anymore. No more daily visits! See ya sucker, thanks for the cash.:rolleyes: It's all for the best!

"not to mention" translation: The previous argument is sufficient on its own. However, I now intend to give you additional reasons.

I don't have a problem with this one.

I use "non-trivial" a lot. It's in the same boat.

Regular releases of printed media.
--------------------------------

How about "Can I ask you a question?"
Hey, schmuck, you just did.

Or, its cousin - "Can I ask a stupid question?"
"Like no one else I know."

Perfect response. I'll have to remember that one.

"just out of curiosity . . . "

just ask the damn question. curiosity is self-evident.

"Wherefore, premises considered . . . " and other legal babbling bullshit.

You ever think maybe you're in the wrong line of work? ;)

"You can't have your cake and eat it too"

Well what the fuck am I going to do with this piece of cake then?

... except the original meaning of "have" in that sentence was "keep"
So it did make sense then

Like, "On pain of death" - where pain originally meant punishment

"No offense, but . . . "

*grins* I suspect my frenemies aren't overly keen on my "with respect..." used in meetings to render an attack civil.

My favorite though is "to be fair to X, ..."

I never thought much about that line, until J pointed out to me that it does sometimes (?) precede a velvet gloved, sideways attack :P


[eta] I have no problem with 'just out of curiosity...' it can fulfil one of two functions: firstly, it communicates that the reason for asking is mere curiosity, as questions aren't always just for that; secondly, it can denote the exact opposite, if said with the right stress.

For me, it usually means I am wavering on the edge of an idea, or thought train and am fishing for further info.

This is the thing about these little sayings, and the reason that one person's annoying phrase is another person's favourite standby: we employ and understand language at a multiplicity of levels. Set alongside that is the rather imperfect machinery that we are running the programme on. We trip over our words and we build in little strategies to make language more comfortable to use, or to fill in the gaps, create comfortable verbal links etc. Like saying "right" or "okay" at the end of a sentence, or filling the gaps with "so", or "umm". Often these stock phrases fulfil a similar function.

That "God doesn't send us anything we can't handle" really pisses me off too. especially as it's always uttered by Zombie moms with too many kids whose god has clearly sent them some nice narcotics to help them handle the other shit he sent.... ;)

for the brits....
"At the end of the day"
"it's a game of two halves"

and the yanks....
"I could care less".....

and I get annoyed by people who confuse

bought and brought
accept and except
pacific and specific

*Cringes* I had a boyfriend when I was in my teens who used to say pacific. Used to wind me up.

"at the end of he day" I do find myself saying lol

A party member, who used to be a fellow councillor, is from Kashmir and he always says either "at end of day" or just "end of day, right". His conversation is littered with that mangled phrase heheh

Friend of mine in high school's entire family used "whenever" in place of "when", which I found mildly annoying most of the time, and rather amusing the rest of the time.

"Remember whenever we went to the movies that one time, and that guy sat behind us and ate popcorn really loud?"

The "valley girl" overusage of the word "like". You know... "He was, like, so totally like GORGEOUS"

Please. Stop.

Does Pie ever get annoyed when people say, "As easy as Pie?"
It's quite hurtful after all...

Well, as long as they have an accurate assessment of exactly how "easy" Pie is, and the thing they're discussing does indeed have that degree of easiness, I'd think that would be OK.

I remember back in the day (just did that to see who I could piss off) I heard people say "Have a nice day" to which some would retort "Don't tell me what kind of day to have."

I find that incredibly rude. They are just saying something nice, at least something not hateful...it's not really different than "goodbye" or "see you."

Many times people just don't know what to say. I have told people things will get better because what they are going through really sucks. And eventually things will get better for most of us. I guess it's better than a kick in the cunt, an "it sucks to be you" or "yeah, you've had bad shit karma coming for a long time, asshat."

I think it's sad when people are judged for just trying to say something nice, even it you don't feel it's appropriate to your situation. Remember, not everyone is uber-intelligent (who'd that piss off) like Dwellars, and if we lose those polite though trite sayings we might as well just all grumble, snort, and walk away when someone tells us something is going wrong for them and we can't possibly understand that situation.

Just my two cents, for whatever it's worth, because it is what it is and at, like, the end of the day there's always a rainbow...:rolleyes:

oh, and @ Razz...I hate it when someone uses "whenever" for "when." It sounds like they're talking about some event that occurs multiple times. That is grammatically incorrect, not a harp on people just trying to be nice.

Bring and take, as in "Will you bring me home?" That question works if you're currently at your home, and are asking if they will get you home from the movies, but when you are both at the movies you would need to take them home.

Hey! :rolleyes:

No, it doesn't annoy me, because I know how hard it is to make a piecrust that is both tender and flaky. And I'm both. Along with a luscious, juicy sweet filling. :cool: