That was a job for...The SHITMEN!!!!

Do they have a team jersey?

http://cellar.org/2013/bitchasshoe.jpg

Someone saw fit to tag up the parking lot.

While I suspect that a bitch-ass ho can easily be found in that neighbourhood, I find it impressive that you can a get bitch-ass hoe too. The pawnshop's range of tools is impressive.

The owner is out this week, and so they asked me to work the counter today. First time in months I'm behind the bullet-proof glass. And it's all flowing back to me, the PTSD-like tension that someone is going to go nuts on me. Luckily it seems like a slow day.

For UT

Seen it many times sir! The biggest difference is that now the cops want us to buy in the stolen watch and get Louis Winthorpe III's picture and ID.

Also, we don't buy or sell firearms, by city law.

Also, Louis in his dilapidated state would still be one of the nicest-smelling people in the shop.

But I'll bet you can sell pressure cookers.

What is the cap on the amount the shop will pay for any single item brought in?

If it will make the shop money there is virtually no cap. But people who have a gold bar know it has more value than we are going to offer, and have more time to find a better buyer.

I came in to list items today and was immediately reminded why I left. The first hour has been nuts.

A lady came in and looked at rings and asked our new guy the same kinds of questions over and over. I overheard a little of this and could see our guy doing the best he could but sensed a little weirdness. Eventually she decided through some retarded ghetto logic that the prices were too high, and that we were in the business of ripping people off, or something like that, and she left muttering away about crackhead whitey.

This led to a cascade of assholery of the highest order. When one customer is crazy and angry, they immediately transmit it to all other customers in the store.

Regular customer Michael was one of the most pleasant people I dealt with when I was at the counter. He's wheelchair bound, because he gained an enormous amount of weight when prescribed antidepressants after becoming suicidal. Well, Michael must have been set off, because although he was at the end of his transactions, he started to become aggressive and angry.

First he decided that he was getting a bad deal from the shop, and protested the amount he had to pay to get his stuff back. Alan patiently explained that he was getting the same deal he had gotten every week for years and years.

Then he decided that the change he'd gotten was wrong, and Alan and Ron, who'd dealt with him, explained that his price was $131.50 and he'd given $140 and gotten $8.50 in change.

Then he decided that he had not been given one of his rings. Now he had chosen a beef that would not end in a simple explanation, and he bellowed his complaint over and over until Alan said he would review the tapes of the counter during his transaction.

Normally that will stop somebody in their tracks, because they don't realize everything's on camera. But this time Michael kept on bellowing for another five minutes, and decided to call the cops. He sat bellowing at the cops, bellowed for another five minutes after calling the cops, called the cops again and bellowed at them, and finally went silent for the ten minutes it took for the cops to get here.

(Which was really fast. I was thinking a half hour.)

Michael and the cop went outside, and he bellowed at the cop for five minutes. The cop came in and got Alan's calm, reasoned side of the story, along with all the pawn tickets and a description of how a customer really can't be given the wrong thing. It's all managed in a very orderly process.

Then he went outside and we heard about another ten minutes of bellowing outside ("That's NON-sense! That's NON-sense!"), until finally it went quiet. We didn't even know he'd left, until Alan took a look at the exterior cameras and saw no sign of him.

Lastly, during the final section of Michael's tantrum, a women came in to retrieve her 51" television out of pawn. The guys were relieved to be able to head to the back and haul the TV out, because they had a reason to escape. They took the TV to the front of the store.

The woman then sighed and asked for help loading her TV into her car. Alan explained that we can't leave from behind the bullet-proof glass ("for insurance purposes"), and did not mention that there was no way we'd do it right NOW with all this weirdness and anger floating around. The woman restated her situation and Alan repeatedly denied her. She left with a loud "That's BULL shit" and apparently found someone on the street to help her load the TV.

The last item I listed today was a big ol tenor sax. Almost new.

Inside the case was a collection of papers and such which included: a bill for the owner's $3700 back rent and utilities; a bill for the owner's $220 back payments due on the sax; a legal letter saying that they were going to be evicted for the rent; and a bunch of church pamphlets.

:( Glad you're mostly outta there, UT. That sax sounds so sad...

Nice treat this morning: as I reached under the radiator to retrieve a dropped iPod cable, my hand stuck on something sticky.

It turned out to be the glue trap for bugs.

It was half full.