Dropping the F bomb-- what age is acceptable?
 

As part of his vast repertory of vocalizations, inch^3 has begun dropping the F bomb lately. (he heard it from mom) (ok, maybe from me too)

Anyway, he has been playing around with words and making up his own cockney rhyming slang (eg glow for a chalk= go for a walk), transposing first letters of word pairs for fun (eg bool skuss for school bus, or "Let's play Boggle." "You mean gobble? no boggle. goggle? bobble?" etc.) and this type of thing: (eg are you a beetle bug? No, I'm a cheetle chug, a deedle dug etc.)

Lately it's been fuck fuck fuck fucky fucky fucky etc.

He's singing it to himself and not checking us for reaction. We've been ignoring it completely as we might if he was just saying la la la, which it sounds like he is, it is a rather sing song fuck fuck fucky fuck.

So he'll be three at the end of November. I really don't want to empower this word with any kind of talk at this stage. He's excercising his options like mad lately, to the point of saying NO and refusing something he really wants or having accidents in his pants becasue he is waiting too long or not want ing to "go" because we asked if he needed to. (him doing the dance)

Any thoughts on this one? When he's older we'll let him listen to George Carlin, though GC did narrate an episode of Thomas the Tank Engine that Inch heard...

eh, fuck it. 'sprolly just a fuckin phase

prolly right. Next time I'll say to the librarian
"He picked up that fucking shit watching Thomas the fuckingTank Engine"

Despite dropping the f-bomb myself with all the precision of a Norden Bomb Sight, I believe that no age is acceptable.

Thomas the fucking tank engine to you!

So what's a parent to do?

Since the inchling isn't conceptually up to groking good words vs. bad words, extinguishing the behavior is the best bet. Ignore the uses, reward substitution.

Skip over the bit about the Skinner Box. You don't need one yet.

I'll answer your first question with another question...my thoughts...

f*ck isn't a kid word. That's how I explained it to SonofV. There are lots of concepts that are "kid" and lots that are "adult" and some that are both. But this word, in our house/family/rules, is not a kid word. Therefore, the kid can't use it. That's how I explained it to him. It connected a known quantity to this new behavior and helped him categorize it. That was a way for me to communicate to him what I wanted without empowering the word.

Much later, a richer discussion of why it's wrong (intent vs the mere pronounciation of the word, and homonyms, etc) was possible and appropriate.

Hmmm. Guess I answered both questions. Good luck!

What works with my nephews is substituting the undesired word with a much cuter kid friendly option....it doesnt arose the i'm-doing-something-naughty? radar and seems to work effectively.

Eg, I drop the F bomb all the time, but when i say it and it gets repeated (or is said at any stage) I exchanged it with "flying frogs".

Now when I am driving and I drop the F.B, the boys automatically go "Flying Frogs!!!".

I'd carry on ignoring it at this stage - as you say he's not checking for a reaction, it's not being used in context, just as a pleasing sound.

My brother went through a "bugger" phase. My sister and I had to leave the room because we understood it was a bad word and our expressions would give the game away.

Bug'rit, millenium hand and shrimp...

Replacing the word is necessary. You could use bugger, since it doesn't have such an impact in the USA... flying frogs might be better though. Little kids dropping F-bombs can turn into not so little kids dropping F-bombs. It looks like Dads gonna have to clean up his language as well...

When you're accidentally saying the F word around kiddies just draw it out, like this: "Fuckrying out loud!"

If you don't want your kids to say/do something, don't do it yourself. So stop saying fuck in front of him. Stop shooting heroin and getting head in front of him, too.:p

When he's singing "fuck, fuck, fucky" sing along with him, but sing "buck, buck, bucky", then "duck, duck, ducky", etc. Just avoid "suck, suck, sucky". ;)

This is the age he should be learning how to speak properly. Speaking improperly comes naturally and requires no training. You're the parent, you're supposed to be a fuddy duddy. I'd personally tell him to stfu with the fucking curse words and speak like a gentleman. He can do what he wants outside the house.