Quite Please
 

there is a guy at my job who never shuts up. ever. he is literally standing over my cube right now blabbering on. he's not a bad guy, or a dumb guy, but really pathetic. i havent looked at him since i started typing and i swear to god he is still talking, what should i do?

Can you wear headphones at work? You could get some with noise cancelling and listen to music.

You could also send an e-mail to someone to call you, which would give you a temporary break right now.

Ask him to be quite quiet.

You could fake a heart attack.

Do you have a cellphone with a quick dial feature? Program your desk number into the phone and call yourself discreetly when he's talking.

HL, i was wearing headphones when he came up and just started talking just before, and the heart attack thing is good but i can't really use it that regularly...he only sits 2 cubes away from me. and i can't do the cell thing because i have no reception. i think next time he walks up im just gonna stand up, look him in the eye, and say "i have to shit, excuse me"

Jump out of your chair and say, "You're making me SO hot," and start taking off your clothes.

When he comes over to your area, just pick up your phone and start talking, even though it didn't ring. Say, "I have to take this. It's the President."

Or pretend your cell phone is on vibrate mode and it just buzzed you. Pull it out of your pocket and start talking on it. Do it every time.

Fart

you could try talking to him, and ask him nicely not to bug you 'cause you're working. Say you'd be happy to talk to him on break, but if he insists on chatting during work hours, you'll have to report him to your supervisor.

slam your fists on your desk and let him know
"SHUT THE FUCK UP"

I have the same problem. Except he's my boss...

yo you guys literally had me lol'ing at some of these responses, thanks

Then tell him you have Tourette's.