The Cellar - There is Something Wrong with My Chinese Delivery Place

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- - There is Something Wrong with My Chinese Delivery Place (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=14897)

wolf	07-25-2007 01:40 AM

There is Something Wrong with My Chinese Delivery Place

I got this fortune cookie tonight. It didn't have the usual fortune cookie platitudes about long voyages or obscure Confucian wisdom type stuff.

It said "Stay away from the opposite sex."

It was not a specialty comedy cookie. Actually, they've been on a run of soppy positive self esteem cookies.

I thought about it awhile and realized that I must have gotten someone else's cookie, so I gave it to the homosexual when he got back into the office.

xoxoxoBruce

07-25-2007 01:50 AM

A queer cookie?

bluecuracao

07-25-2007 02:13 AM

Well, shit--you've turned someone else's cookie for you into a paradox for him.

NoBoxes

07-25-2007 03:31 AM

It sounds like a derivation of the general advice to stay away from temptation (e.g. advice to recovering alcoholics is to stay away from alcohol and bars, advice to adulterers is to stay away from the opposite sex. Perhaps they fancy themselves Chinese deliverers from evil. ;)

DucksNuts

07-25-2007 05:04 AM

Damn good advice that, I wish I got that one wolf.

Griff

07-25-2007 06:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf (Post 367801)

I thought about it awhile and realized that I must have gotten someone else's cookie, so I gave it to the homosexual when he got back into the office.

Well played. :)

Shawnee123

07-25-2007 07:30 AM

Wow. They don't even try to be subtle. Just "STAY AWAY." Not avoid, not "be cautious."

That's really funny. :)

freshnesschronic

07-25-2007 08:44 AM

Two woks don't make a right.

smurfalicious

07-25-2007 10:56 AM

Wow. Nice encouragement to go asexual. Or homosexual. Nun or shun.

Shawnee123

07-25-2007 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic (Post 367844)

Two woks don't make a right.

THAT was a good one! :lol:

Uisge Beatha

07-25-2007 11:45 AM

You know, it could have been a typo; maybe it was supposed to say "Stay away from the opposite of sex." As in, having no sex. Ah, who am I kidding? That's just a messed up cookie.

Perhaps the strangest fortune I ever received simply said "Made in the USA." I'm not joking here. That was the fortune, not some legal production ID business.

BigV	07-25-2007 12:03 PM

Perhaps you got one intended for domestic consumption, and not intended for export. I say it's legit. Very topical, current events-fresh.

Quote:

Citizens told to quit bad habits before Beijing Olympics
Wed Jul 25, 2007 1:54PM BST

By Nick Mulvenney

BEIJING (Reuters) - The people of Beijing have been asked to rid themselves of bad habits and clean up their language as part of improving the city's environment ahead of next year's Olympic Games.

Addressing the "ceremony of mobilisation and pledging of the people from all circles for Olympic one-year countdown", Beijing Olympic chief Liu Qi stressed it was up to individuals to ensure the city was ready to host the Games in a year and two weeks' time.

"Every citizen should behave in a civilised manner, cast away ugly habits, clean up their language, clean the environment and clean the air," Liu, president of the Beijing Organising Committee for the Olympic Games (BOCOG), said on Wednesday.

Shawnee123

07-25-2007 12:06 PM

That edict should have a big impact on the monkey-riding-goat concession. Those things poo, you know.

Elspode

07-25-2007 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts (Post 367817)

Damn good advice that, I wish I got that one wolf.

Pish tosh. Just hang out with more worthy members of the opposite sex. Start with me.

DucksNuts

07-25-2007 06:39 PM

I'm going with not hanging out with any at the moment 'spode.

I'm hanging the old CFM's up for a well deserved break, but you are at the top of my list when I am...well.....back on the horse, so to speak ;)

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