And if you rub hard enough and often enough...
 

You won't even need it at all.


Australian researchers said Wednesday they have developed a means of producing a "natural condom" which could prevent the spread of AIDS.
The Melbourne researchers said they believe men could reduce their risk of contracting the HIV virus, which causes the deadly disease AIDS, by applying the female hormone, oestrogen, to their penis once a week.

University of Melbourne researcher Professor Roger Short said that use of an oestrogen cream could quadruple the thin layer of the protein keratin on the skin and thereby provide a natural defensive layer.

"You create what you could call a natural condom," Short told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

"You create a biological membrane which the virus can't get through."

Short, a strong advocate of the circumcision of men as a protection against HIV, said he had not yet done tests to prove that the virus was defeated by the keratin cover.

But the researchers said the technique, which does not protect against other sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy, could provide a cheap and simple method of guarding against HIV around the world.

The research, detailed in the Public Library of Science medical journal PLoS ONE, is expected to be tested in clinical trials in Africa.

It will also make you grow breasts.

Yeah, but they'd be on your dick.

That's not so bad.

Might be pretty to look at but not have much use. Wait, that's what all breasts are for right?

It might stop them getting AIDS, but it wont help stop pregnancy. :D

I don't think Sheldon worries about getting pregnant.

Yes I know. That was the joke.

Yes I do. I also worry about it raining Aardvarks.

SheeeeeeooooooOOO Splat.

I worry about the aardvark thing too. That, and the potato conspiracy.

The phrase "biological membrane" is almost poetic. I plan to work that phrase into every conversation I can, and I urge you to do the same. It's great!

For example:

"Liz nervously rubbed the lotion onto her skin, hoping the biological membrane would dull the pain when she got the hose again..."