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-   -   When does one stop being the "baby" of the family? (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=18036)

Sheldonrs 09-06-2008 02:49 PM

When does one stop being the "baby" of the family?
 
I have 2 older sisters. We are each one year apart. I will be 48 in December. I admit my sisters earn a lot more than I do. But I like my job and it pays the few bills I have.
I love my sisters but I swear if they don't stop buying me stuff I will put myself up for adoption to another family. I came home from work yesterday to find that my sisters had sent me a 42 inch flat screen TV. I didn't need one and I really didn't want one because it takes up a lot of space. Add to this the expensive queen size bed(they also bought one for my BF at the time), the computer, the groceries and gifts from Omaha Steaks as well as cash, all un-asked for and in most case I told them NOT to send these things.
Does anyone else have this problem? And yes, I do consider it a problem.

HungLikeJesus 09-06-2008 02:55 PM

I think you should send them a note saying, "Thanks for the giant TV. I didn't have room for it, so I sold it on E-bay for $200." Then they would stop sending you expensive things.

monster 09-06-2008 03:17 PM

Maybe they want you to watch more sport and "straighten out"?

Check to see if they will get refunded if you return the TV, and then just return it.

Sheldonrs 09-06-2008 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster (Post 481585)
Maybe they want you to watch more sport and "straighten out"?

Check to see if they will get refunded if you return the TV, and then just return it.

Did I mention we're Jewish? Returning a gift would result in many months of guilt enforcement, followed by apologies and more gifts.
Also, returming the TV would cost a lot. And it weighs a ton.

Nirvana 09-06-2008 03:24 PM

I could give you my shipping address if that will help solve the problem for you... ;)

Cloud 09-06-2008 03:26 PM

It's fun to send gifts, and it makes them happy, so I wouldn't try to stop that. Let them pamper you if they must.

You might try asking them to spend less, though. Tell you you appreciate their thoughtfulness, but that the costs of the gifts makes you uncomfortable. if they must send you gifts, ask that they be lower cost gifts, or that you are consulted with for anything over X dollars.

oh, and the answer to your question is: as soon as you acquire a younger sibling. Is that likely to happen anytime soon? :)

richlevy 09-06-2008 03:35 PM

A simple solution would be for your sisters to adopt me and send me the 42 inch TV set. I am Jewish and can handle the guilt.;)

Seriously, I still have one or two relatives who still try to call me 'Richie'. Now I know that it is not technically a childish name (ask Richie Havens) but it was a nickname that I thought I outgrew.

Some relationships are defined early on and continue pretty much forever. Older sisters will always be older sisters, even when they're 99 and you're 98.

sweetwater 09-06-2008 03:36 PM

Open a savings account and give them the number. Or I can give them mine - I'm willing to help you out on this.
Or you might want to give them suggestions since they are determined to give you something: a favorite charity or cause, or gift certificates for grocery stores or restaurants that you can donate to those in need.

Cloud 09-06-2008 03:40 PM

I think those are good ideas, Sweetwater, but -- I don't think they'll fly. Giving money or a donation on someone's behalf is absolutely not the same as giving them a bed or a tv they think will be used by the recipient. It's a different kind of giving feeling, and I suspect not the kind the older sisters are craving.

I guess part of the problem, Sheldon, is you feel you are being condescended to, or like you are receiving charity. As both the baby of my family, and a heartfelt giver to my kids, I understand both viewpoints.

Clodfobble 09-06-2008 04:40 PM

I think about the only thing you can hope to do is redirect their efforts. Make it as clear as you can what things you do want--even if that "stuff" is actually stuff that someone else you know or the charity you work for really needs. Electronics could go to the children's ward of a hospital, food could go to homeless shelters... If you really want to drive the message home, forward any thank-you letters you get.

binky 09-06-2008 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs (Post 481578)
I have 2 older sisters. We are each one year apart. I will be 48 in December. I admit my sisters earn a lot more than I do. But I like my job and it pays the few bills I have.
I love my sisters but I swear if they don't stop buying me stuff I will put myself up for adoption to another family. I came home from work yesterday to find that my sisters had sent me a 42 inch flat screen TV. I didn't need one and I really didn't want one because it takes up a lot of space. Add to this the expensive queen size bed(they also bought one for my BF at the time), the computer, the groceries and gifts from Omaha Steaks as well as cash, all un-asked for and in most case I told them NOT to send these things.
Does anyone else have this problem? And yes, I do consider it a problem.

As my 12 year old would say "cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it"!

Elspode 09-06-2008 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs (Post 481578)
I came home from work yesterday to find that my sisters had sent me a 42 inch flat screen TV. I didn't need one and I really didn't want one because it takes up a lot of space.

I'll pay the freight if you want to send it to me. I can never have enough giant TVs.

Dude, they love you. Sometimes, people have a limited way of showing it. Just be thankful that you have that love.

PS - "Queer As Folk" is *awesome* in hi-def. Hell, toilet paper commercials are awesome in hi-def.

SamIam 09-06-2008 06:34 PM

I agree with Cloud. Maybe its hurting your pride a little that your wealthy sisters are sending gifts you could not afford for yourself? Plus, it makes it difficult to reciprocate in kind - thanks for the gazillion inch TV. Here's an afgan I crocheted for you.

It sounds like your sisters have kind hearts and want to make you happy. That's not such a bad thing.

monster 09-06-2008 07:08 PM

Send a thank you note including a pic of you watching a dvd on the new tv. one of those dvds. ;) In fact, make the note like a postcard and mail it to them at their places of work.

DanaC 09-06-2008 08:21 PM

My two aunties still talk about my mum like she's their baby sister. I am also the baby of my family.


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