Cellar Swifties
 

I got this thread idea over the weekend as I was working on a puzzle book:

A Tom Swifty is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed.

For example:

"Pass me the shellfish," said Tom crabbily.

"I might as well be dead," Tom croaked.

So, I thought we could do Cellar Swifties. The quote and subsequent adverbial pun can be related to the Dwellar's occupation, demeanor, a certain quote that stood out to you, their way of life...nothing is sacred.

I'll start us off:

"Once again, I've sold a buttload of cars this week," said lumberjim automatically.

"I hope this thread doesn't die a slow and painful death," thought Shawnee morbidly.

"I see no one is up to the challenge," she said gamely.

"WTF are y'all waitin' on the freaking crickets?" she chirped.

"Sorry, it took some time to understand. I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer," he simply stated.

"This thread should be moderated," said xoxoxoBruce with authority.

"fuck you!", Lookout perversely replied.

"Now you've got the hang of it," Shawnee replied airily.

"Sometimes it takes awhile," he quickly retorted.

"Your jokes are making stuff come out my nose," she exclaimed snottily.

"Look! A Greek parachutist!" said Tom, condescendingly.


"I've sold my last pig." said Farmer Tom, disgruntled.


"That machine is dangerous" said Tom, offhandedly.




"I am NOT a homosexual necrophiliac!" Said Tom, in dead earnest.

That took a second read through :P

"This thread is full of hot air!" Richlevy bellowed.

"My posting brought on a lot of flames," said Steve crisply.

"I wish I was smarter", Elspode said thoughtlessly.

"There's no lube on the nightstand", Jim said grittily.

"I think the Cellar Advent Calendar needs a picture of Frankenclaus", Monster said monstrously.

"There's no such thing as too many tits on The Cellar", MTP said barely audibly.

"I'm out of wine," HungLikeJesus said dryly, as he walked across his swimming pool. He opened his tool box. "And I'm out of nails," he said crossly, as he picked up his hammer and saw. "I can't hang around here all day. And my scalp itches," he said, bringing up another thorny issue.

"This thread makes me feel all warm and fuzzy," Junie purred.