Tom's of Maine Mouthwash
 

Tastes like bad breath. That is all.

I find that hard to believe. Everyone knows Maine has the best maple syrup and mouthwash, and Tom...well what can we say about Tom?

whatever you do, don't get tw started on Listerine.

:::backs away slowly:::

I think it would taste better if, instead of Maine, Tom was from... uh, I dunno... New Orleans.

Not only that but Tom sold out a long time ago. I forget which mega conglomerate is pretending to be small town America.

Yeah, I don't think Burt's Bees really belong to Burt anymore, either.

Next thing you'll tell me is Mrs Butterworth sold out.

Have they ever done a pr0n based on Mrs Butterworth?

Yes...er, I mean...I dunno.

It's still a factory in a relatively small town in Maine. You can tour it and see for yourself.

Its parent company is Colgate-Palmolive. According to Wikipedia "In 2006, a controlling 84% stake in Tom's of Maine was purchased by Colgate-Palmolive for US $100M. The Chappells kept a 16% share in the company. The terms of the purchase stipulate that Tom's of Maine's policies will be retained."

Tom's is overrated; as is Burt's. All a bunch of hippie gunk.

Next you're going to be saying that Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap isn't really magic, or that Dr. Bronner is not really a religious wacko.

Hey, hey, hey... ALL ARE ONE ON GODS SPACESHIP EARTH GODAMNIT!

Dr. Bronner died several years ago. Tom's is complete crap, but I think Burt's bees is lovely stuff.

Tom's brother was my creative writing teacher many years ago when I took a few classes at Community College of Vermont in Brattleboro. He was pretty funny, sold cars during the day.

He did tell a funny story about his brother in the 70's being in NYC with a sample case trying to sell his stuff to some retailers or something. He gets accosted on the subway in the wrong part of town and the guys are asking him "what's in the case, man?"

Without missing a beat Tom opens the case and shows them the samples.
"Wow! you work for Tom?"
"I am Tom."
"NO Shit, man we love your toothpaste..."

His brother said "Knowing Tom he probably ended up selling them a bunch of toothpaste.

I've used the Tom's products, but I take the position that if you're really in need of mouthwash, you need something that is heavily flavored, and most certainly contains alcohol.

I love the crazy guy soap (which is how I refer to Dr. Bronner's) but I prefer the liquid to the bars ... the bars are really too hard to use. As for the liquid, don't forget, "Dilute, Dilute, Dilute, OK!"