What's so Manly about American Football?
 

I'm watching the game tonight and I'm sorta thinking it doesn't really look so masculine....

No. wait! Hear me out...

They have shiny uniforms
... that are skintight
with cap sleeves

They have so much padding
A mommy's boy would complain
about overprotection

They make a big deal about
every single freaking yard.
Man up and go for the whole damn distance.

or at least something more than three feet

And they get free do-overs too

... and how long does it take for a tight end to become a wide receiver?

Real Men use their arms when they play sports. They play in the snow and rain and mud, and don't prance up and down the field like girly-men. They get bruises and broken bones and concussions from impacts of giant dudes running into them at full speed. They retire young because a body just can't take that kind of abuse for too long. They don't wear little shorts and t-shirts like the 4th grade girls badminton team.

;)

exactly

and did I mention the cuddling other players who don't even have the damn ball?

Snuggles.

This classic Carlin bit explains why football is manly... and baseball is not

American football is executed like an old-fashioned military campaign.

Baseball goes without saying. It's like rounders in silly pants..... and takes for freaking ever by all accounts. And I really hate that "take me out to the ballpark" song.

I'm liking the hockey, though. Although it's a little "white".

Also isn't it kind of weird that so many football players are black when the fans are white? At least that's how it looked on the tv last night.... or was that an anomoly? I'm still pretty new to this game...

this

As opposed to this. :bolt:

I love that last bit where Bill Bates clocks the old flag guy......apologizes, and puts his hat back on his head.

ƒuuuuuuckk man



1:18 Earl Campbell

YEAH. the rest of that run starts at 1:10

this guy had a couple moves

There's something about having played pick-up football as a kid.

If I have any toughness in me, it's from those moments.


== Six on six, neighborhood kids, everybody pretty much go out for passes, nobody's blocking on the line but you can rush on five mississippi. We got three plays to get to the tree, then we get a first down and we get three more plays to get to the end of the field.

Sammy got cut on a rock.

Is it bleeding?

A little

Sammy let me see that. Oh that's nothing. That's through your jeans. You walkin OK? OK, spit on it, clean it out a little, limp real bad on the next play, and the play after that they won't cover ya, and we'll throw it to you.

== This one time, there was another guy named Tony, on the other team; and he was not a big guy, but he was a little older and taller than a lot of our guys. You play neighborhood ball, you know, a lot of different age guys will come out for that.

Well this Tony took the ball on a kickoff, and he decided to see what would happen if he just busted down the middle of the field at full gallop. Instead of running it back by dodging, he would just barrel down, arms flailing, big war face on. And it worked; once he was at full run, nobody wanted to do the simple job of being the tackling dummy. Just putting your body in his way and taking the force of that full-on. (and nobody was smart enough to take him low...)

So, the next kickoff he decides to do his galloping run again. and I realize, I'm gonna have to do this: I have to step up to duty, and hit him, because if somebody doesn't stop him he'll just keep doing it.

I put my shoulder down and hit him at a slight angle. B-O-O-M. I don't know what it looked like, but to me, and to him, it was one of those highlight hits. He went down in a heap. The ball rolled away. I got up. Two minutes later he got up.

There you go: that's what's manly about American Football.