Crazy Vegetarians
 

Every year, around this time, vegetarians meat in Bangkok.

Oh, Phuket, I made a mistake. This isn't Bangkok.

I remember watching Nightly News with Tom Brokaw one night way back when. He was on location, and I remeber that after the report and commentary, he turned it back to the studio with the usual sign-off, "This is Tom Brokaw, Phuket." I can only imagine how badly he wanted to travel there just for that sentence.
It wasn't until years later that I heard another pronunciation for it.

I'm thinking magnets. A magnet on the end inside the cheek, one on the end outside the cheek. Pinch the two together, slowly, preferrably so you don't mash the shit out of your cheek, and now it looks like you have a spike through your cheek.

I mean otherwise, my food would shoot out my face when I eat. And veggies or no, it's still going to be disgusting looking while at the dinner table...

Quzah.