I really suck at relationships.
 

No really, I'm worse than you are.

I have to get up for work at 5am, so I really want to go to bed by 10 at the latest (9 would be preferable). But then, he thinks that he has to go to bed at the same I do and he wants to have sex. I do too, but I'm just too practical, after 9 is really too late to get started on that. I know I should make the move if I want to earlier, but I'd prefer it if he did. I guess its just a confidence boost thing. Other than being sick lately, I also just feel fat and generally unsexy, even if he says otherwise.
I know I'm just kinda generally whining. He is a good guy, things are mostly good. Just feeling...I dunno.
Things are all serious (moved in together and all), maybe I'm getting cold feet. TBH, I don't see us getting married, but I don't see myself getting married AT ALL. I haven't kept this to myself, he knows that I'm not looking to get married anytime soon. There is that part of me though that doesn't believe him when he says he feels the same way about it. Guys are just so much more easier to break but try harder to hide it. It doesn't help that my family (even my heathen brother) keeps telling me that I shouldn't be in such a serious relationship if I'm not ready/willing to marry. I feel like I'm obligated to stay in a relationship with him. Although I don't WANT to not be with him, I still hate this feeling of being trapped.

Don't bet any money on that. Everybody's different, but I know for sure, there's a lot of guys that would rather not get married, and maintain the status quo. He may very well have part of him that doesn't believe you, or at least feels afraid you'll change your mind.

That said, try not to worry about what may happen in the future, it has a habit of ruining the present. Paying interest on money you didn't borrow, comes to mind.

Oh, on initiating... just use signals. If he wants it, he can like tap you on the shoulder three times, and if you want it, tap his dick... once.:blush:

This older man married a younger woman. After they consummated the marriage, the husband said, "Honey, any time you want sex, you don't even have to ask. Just pull my dick a few times."

"What if I don't want sex?" she asked.

He replied, "Pull it 30 or 40 times."

He's not old, it takes a lot longer than that.

Grab him , throw him a Quickey , then Playfully kick him out of the bed saying I have to get up early , Go watch tv !!!

If I could, I would. I know this is not a normal complaint, but he has too much stamina. I'm ALWAYS done well before he is. :(
Which that increases my anxiety about it, I can't figure out how I'm doing wrong.

Do him first thing in the morning when you wake up. Once he understands what it feels like to honestly have to weigh sleepiness and sex, maybe he'll be more willing to jump your bones right after dinner instead.

Get your cookie, then finish him off with a handjob. That is simply the quickest way around that particular problem.

No, no...That'll just make him late for work!:p:


Sex is like dinner in a Chinese restaurant...It ain't over till you both get your cookie.

mtp, I'm concerned with the last two sentences in your OP. Maybe the feeling of being trapped is just normal apprehension, but make sure. If you feel obligated you may feel obligated to marry down the road even if you aren't ready or sure.

Best of luck. Relationships can be so hard.

Is it the leg irons?

I would love to have morning sex, but that would mean getting up even earlier than I already do, and I just don't think I can face 4:30am. I don't have "days off" cuz those days I have a 10am class. I can try on those days, but that still means getting up before 7am since he has to go to work and is late on his own without my help.


@Grav: see posts #4 and #6....I can get my cookie, getting his is just much much much more difficult.

No, I padded them so they don't rub his ankles raw...


@Shaw, see I think the "trapped" part is due to my family and not him. Although I feel some obligation, and that I would feel terribly guilty if I left him. It would be all my fault/mistake for breaking his heart. That might be due to my mother though, she treated me pretty shitty for breaking up with my last boyfriend...

I know, I shouldn't be letting all they other people meddle with my mind. Its just so ingrained its hard to tell if they feelings are my own, or caused by someone else...

Everyone's got baggage to work through, mtp, that doesn't make you a bad person. But Shaw's right, definitely don't let the guilt talk you into marriage sometime down the line. Just hold things steady while you're figuring out your own mind, don't make any big decisions either way.

MTP - I know this is going to sound selfish, but right now, just continue to take care of yourself and don't worry about him or his needs AT ALL. Just worry about yours, because I think at this time you are really needing to - you really seem to have a lot on your plate, girl. If he loves you, he will want to be with you while you are doing this. And if he really does exhibits that patience and devotion towards you, you will be that much more happy with him. If he doesn't, then he will leave and you wont be any worse off.

Later down the road, there will be plenty of time to find a relationship that you can ENJOY working on.

What I'm thinking is, damn, how long does it take?

I have a feeling I've been cheated for a while in this department . . . ;-)