Can You Guess What I Did?
 

Last nite and the nite before, I did something I've never done before. Two different things.

I'm an average white male, 42 years old. I thought I'd done everything with a female that I'd cared to do (that rules out Cleveland Steamers & Dirty Sanchez' and the like). What I ain't done, ain't a long list. What happened last nite and the nite before both involved nekkidity, but, not sex. During one we touched each other, during one we did not. One activity lasted, literally, alllllll niiiiiiite looooong. The other lasted about ten minutes.

And your final clue: One activity involved bodily fluids, the other did not.

What did I do?

Had your butt dildoed?

Please tell us you didn't pee on her.

Gazed into each other's eyes and cried at the beauty of it all.
Held hands, gazed into each other's eyes and cried at the beauty of it all.

What do I win?

Giggety-giggety!

Were you binding the briars with joys and desires? (And sorry, I know you're from Kentucky and all...the briar part was completely unintentional.) *thnort*

Waaaaaaiiiiitttttt a minute. You're 42 years old? :eek:

Skinny dipping in the neighbor's hot tub ?

Heee!

Prosecutor: Mr. Chappelle, what would it take to convince you that R. Kelly is guilty?

Dave Chappelle: Okay, I'd have to see a video of him singing "Pee On You," two forms of government ID, a police officer there to verify the whole thing, four or five of my buddies and Neal taking notes, and R. Kelly's grandma to confirm his identity.

R. Kelly's Grandma: That's my Robert, always peeing on people.

He did not pee on her. Ten minutes might not be all that long but it would still be a very long pee.

You proposed, she turned you down/accepted after some deliberation/pussy-footin' around.

you fed each other curry and shat all night.

Phones sex?
Watch each other masturbate?
Tickle her ass with a feather?

this is making me uncomfortable

Don't look then.