Dear Flint
 

Dear Flint,


I am sorry I upset you. It was never my intention to buttfuck you in the mouth. I realise now that it was the wrong thing to do. Buttfucking in the mouth is never the right answer to problems. It's been a tough lesson to learn, but I think my buttfucking in the mouth days are numbered.


Kindest regards


DanaC



ps: I am not sorry about your finger.

I grabbed a number and have been patiently waiting in line all this time. Will you honor this number? What is this, the DMV?

ps My number is 327.

literal lol ... tagline worthy

*smiles*



Somewhere in there is a genuine apology. I'll back off now.

DanaC: I'm writing to Flint, see what you think, OK? "Dear Flint..."
Monster: Yeah?
DanaC: Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far.
Monster: Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly.
Infinite Monkey: I don't like the "dear". Sounds a bit too much like "will you go to bed with me?"
DanaC: Nicely spotted, Infinite Monkey. What do you think instead?
Infinite Monkey: What about "darling"?
DanaC: "Darling Flint..."
Lookout123: Oh, no, no, no, no! Not "Flint". It's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put "fascist bully boy".
DanaC: "Darling fascist bully boy..."
Monster: That's nice, yeah, so far so good, so what do you want to say?
DanaC: Well, basically I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that.
Monster: Well, what about, "give me some more money"?
Infinite Monkey: "You bastard"
DanaC: Don't you think that's a bit strong?
Monster: No, DanaC, people like that respect strength.
DanaC: Yeah, you're right. "Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard..." Uh... "Love, DanaC."
Infinite Monkey: Not "love, DanaC"! That sounds far too much like "come and get it like a bitch-funky sex machine".
DanaC: Yeah, you're right. Uh... What about "yours sincerely"?
Lookout123: Oh, come off it, DanaC! If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers?
DanaC: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not put "boomshanka"?
Monster: Ahh... that's hard to tell, DanaC. What does it mean?
DanaC: It means "may the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman".
Lookout123: Ah-ha! And WHAT makes you think your Flint's a man?
DanaC: His beard.
Monster: He'll never understand "boomshanka". You'll have to write the whole thing out.
DanaC: Right, okay, here we go. "Darling fascist bully boy, give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, DanaC."
Lookout123: Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.
Monster: The only problem is we're running out of fuel. [scrunches the letter up and hands it to Infinite Monkey] IM, chuck it on the fire. [Infinite Monkey does so and all four scramble toward the fire, trying to get warm]

:lol:

*applauds*

Funny fucker! (No, I don't mean you should fuck someone named 'funny' or a clown--hey, does this clown fuck funny to you?)

what are you s'posed to be doing, footsie? I'm s'posed to be cleaning..... and paperworking....

Yeah....that reminds me...my thesis...

That's not funny. I don't have an accent. Wait - you didn't write my part with an accent? You didn't think I had the chops to pull it off. Well, screw you Mr I've-done-everything-in-the-world-but-die I sooooo could have pulled off an accent.

Where's my xanax?

That's hilarious! Nice work, footx3!

I'd be more concerned about the costume....

Nah, that's ok. I was waxed yesterday.

Don't forget yer Merkin, then