About at my journey's end
 

Every time homegirl comes back from a visit with her mom she is a mental wreck AND a total bitch to me and the kids. I've tried talking with her about this many many times. Denial is not just a river in Africa.

Ready to throw in the towel today...

What do you mean by throw in the towel? Get divorced? Break up?

Naa , its cheaper to keep her

Well, he has a rifle now.:unsure:

ssshhhhhhh!

like get divorced and break up.

How often does she go to her mum's 3ft ?

down with any broad that doesn't dig footer.

jeesus, sorry bro. you deserve better than you're getting

That really sucks foot. Sometimes you just can't do more than you've done. We've all been where you're headed (well, most of us) and it's a sucky place to be. I'll hope for a miracle for you.

How long does it usually last for after she gets back?

Sorry to hear it's gotten this bad, foot. Dana and monster are asking the right questions though. I would also add, does her mom live in town now?

It would be cheaper, and better for the kids (divorce stress aside, they're still going to have to deal with their mom being bitchy even if you successfully extricate yourself from it) if you could enforce a buffer period. Like maybe tack on an all-day spa treatment after every visit, before she's allowed to come home. Lay it out right, and it could be "for her" and not for you.

Well, there is the woodchuck solution ... applied to the MIL, I emphasise!

Seriously, what Clod said. Related: Australian soldiers in Vietnam were stagering back to base from R&R so pissed and hung-over that they were useless the next day. A rule had to be brought in that their last (I think) 24 hours of R&R were on base and dry. Gave them time to sober up before more soldiering.

So if it is viable, maybe a few hours getting massaged, soaked, aromatherapised, etc might improve Homegirl.

If not, have the massage yourself. She'll still be the same, only you won't mind so much.

All of the advice above sounds good-implementable? Is the considering divorce bit only because of how she is when she gets back from her mum's or are there other contributing factors?

Yes, this is where I was headed, although I was thinking a day out for you and the sprogs while she "settles in" back home. Clod's solution is craftier, but is just "being away" a factor as well as mom? Some people are stressed by being away from home and when they get back home and start to feel in familiar surroundings, that's when they relax enough to let the stress go -sometimes not to good effect. Perhaps if you are just out of the fall-out zone when this happens? Maybe a compromise -a spa day at home?