Healthy Holiday Eating Hints
 

In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, many of us may find it difficult to maintain healthy eating habits. And so, as a public service, I have attached this helpful food pyramid to help all of my friends here remember to eat right... no matter what the season!

http://www.charm.net/~mbyrd/pyramid.gif

Hope this helps!

Love,
Hubris Boy

Hmmm...that looks like yesterday, except not enough orange stuff. I'll have to work on that.

I'm doing well on orange and dead animals. I guess what I need to know is if we can substitute hard liquor for carbonated and at what ratio?

Hey! Listen pal... this ain't Deal-A-Meal, you know. It took me years to perfect this system!

But, if you really must, you can substitute Wild Turkey for Mountain Dew at a ratio of 1 : 1 until you keel over.

Of course, if you drink them together (i.e. Rum and Coke), the net effect is zero. They cancel each other out, and you can drink as much as you want! :D

HB, I was in line at Wendy's today, and ordered the Big Bacon Classic meal, super-sized with a Coke. Then I remembered your food pyramid, so I quickly added "wait.. hold the tomato". Thanks for helping me keep all this nutrition stuff straight.
<P ALIGN=CENTER>http://www.tobiasly.com/misc/cellar/vegetarn.gif</P>

The Other White Meat
 

And don't think HB is not completely serious about this. Why, not two hours before revealing his secrets to healthy eating, HB sat down and glommed a huge plate of salad, with low-fat dressing (OK, I admit, there wasn't anything else in the house). In order to balance this out and eat the Healthy HB Way, he required nearly two pounds of macaroni 'n' cheese, but there was still something missing -- the all-important dead animal group!

He assured me that this was not a problem, and his dietary balance would be restored by ingesting large quantities of beef jerky and Slim Jims in the morning, but honey, I just have one question: What have you done with the cat?

What if you drink orange soda - can you count that as a selection in two different groups?

Re: The Other White Meat
 

The cheese of the Mac n' Cheese should be, by association, part of the dead animal group, under the logic that once it leaves the cow, it's not alive anymore. Absolutely, by the time the cheese is processed down to whey solids, it's DEAD.

Additionally, depending on the quality of cheese, it could also be part of the all-important orange group.

You can't get too much orange in your diet. *for that matter you can't put too much water in a nuclear reactor*

'Fraid not, UT.

Orange soda doesn't fall into the Orange Food category. Neither does orange juice. Nor oranges, for that matter.

The "orangeness" of a food is determined by its content of Red Dye #40 and/or Yellow #6. The best orange foods will leave a thick coating of orange residue (cheedle) on your fingers while you are eating them.

Wait a minute...do I detect that the significant other of Hubris is gracing this board now? *rubs his hands with delight* Oh, this should be fun!

BUSTED!
 

Yeah, you got me pegged . . . I am, indeed, the significant other of the highly esteemed HB. I started looking around the site in mid-December to see what all the middle-of-the-night gales of laughter were about, and got hooked. Naturally, I couldn't be content to just watch and keep my mouth shut (bite your tongue, sweetie) so I put in my two cents a few times.

HB figured out pretty quickly, and has been 'punishing' me ever since. ("Again! Harder! HARDER!!") So, thanks, cellar, for spicing up my life!

**An unsolicited testimonial regarding the healing, restorative powers of the cellar.org by 99 44/100% pure, AKA Humility Gal**

Hooray! Nice to have you around!

Is this still about the pantyhose?

WHAT??!!
 

Um, did Hubris actually tell you guys about the pantyhose incident??!! Man, I'll kill him . . .