I May Need Some Help Here ...
 

I am going to crazynurse's daughter's tonight for a special reason.

To take care of TheLittleMonster.

gothychick has him in one of those home-based daycares, and the "teacher" is taking tomorrow off, and she has nobody to watch TheLittleMonster.

So, having exhausted all possibilities with any actual childcare experience, she scrapes the bottom of the barrel, which falls out, which is where she finds me. "Auntywolf, you'd love to spend the day with TheLittleMonster, wouldn't you?"

Well, yeah. I would. And you did just give me a Playstation3. So, yeah. I'll babysit. What time to you have to leave for work?

"O400."

No shit? I'll stay over so I can sleep through the night and wake up when the kidlet does, okay?

Sure. See you Tuesday.

So, here it is, Tuesday.

I'm going to be leaving in probably about a half-hour, just to miss out on the traffic, and maybe it won't start raining before I get there.

I have watched three different "how to change a diaper" videos. That should be good, right?

And it will be easier than the last time I changed a diaper, which was cloth and involved pins and stuff. That was about 12 years ago, based on my hippie friend's youngest's age.

(note to self, pack rubber gloves)

See, I usually am not trusted by parents to do this until the sprogs are verbal and potty trained.

I may have to check in for advice ... I at least know that I'm supposed to tuck MrWinky down. gothychick mentioned that last night. I really should have asked her to give me some guided instruction before B(aby)-Day.

I figure that my biggest hurdle will be making sure that I remember to set the child safety gate at the top of the stairs.

Make sure you have lots of duct tape. (It may be apparent that I'm not a parent.)

I may text gothygirl and gamingboy questions like "where are the trash can liners and the boning knife" during the day, just to make sure they know that I'm doing the right things for TheLittleMonster.

However, since they already say things like duct tape and dismember with respect to the baby, I doubt it will have the shock effect it would for most parents.

Try asking if the garbage disposal works on bones.

Roll in flour, then buttermilk, then bread crumbs. Fry at a high heat until golden brown.

How old is the sproglet?

Take your gun.

16 months or thereabouts. He learned to climb over the back of the sofa today. I'm doomed.

Remote controlled shock collar

humm if his own toys are not amusing, and it sounds like finger-painting might be out,
try bringing out the pots and a ladle.( If he is more precocious than that put his toys in the pot cover with a lid and have him uncover them.) Big boxes are fun too. Picture books and asking questions about shapes, colors and animals. Pushing a ball back and forth is fun and a carefully watched bath with not very much water is fun too. Watch out for those floaties though. The brown ones. ;)

Oh gawd I don't envy you those diapers. Feed him something to make him a little constipated as soon as he wakes up, then prune juice half an hour before mama comes home......

What fresh Hell is this?! TheLittleMonster is full of poop and it is everywhere!

Wardrobe change needed, for him and me. How does something so small have so much poop in it?

Bwahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Naptime initiated. Managed another poop diaper change AND got him into jammies.

Good luck!