Shakespearean Insult Kit
 

Just follow the directions.

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Thou frothy, onion-eyed, canker-blossom.

Thou spongy, knotty-pated bum-bailey!

I found my favorite, reading straight across:

Surly, rump-fed puttock!

My favorite:

Thou crusty botch of nature (Troilus and Cressida)

You can make them up, sure. Or, you can just go steal them!

and, yes, I have the book.

Thou mewling, fly-bitten harpy!

I have refridgerator magnets with Shakespearean insults.

"I was looking for a fool when I found you," and such.

One of my favorite insults is from the bible: "Oh yes. All wisdom will die with you."

Imma use that on my kids.


Stupid kids.