I'm pregnant, apparently
 

And so are a good number of you. Congratulations. Apparently pregnancy now begins on the first day of your period. At least in Arizona. I guess after ovulation, if you pee on a stick and it's negative, then you're not pregnant until the first day of your next period. So premenopausal women are pregnant at least 50% of the time.

Schroedinger's Fetus?

http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com...12/04/13/37993

Congratulations maybe

So does MANstration count ??

Shush, Zippy, in a few more years we'll be legally able to use this:

Call me maybe?

That's teh funneh.

That's teh fucked up.

I'm a mass murderer. I've suggested masturbating into a cup and sending it to Gov. Brewer. That way I can only be charged with abandonment. lol

Uh... wat? So like... can I have monthly baby showers for free shit then?

You bet! Also, it seems to me that all women below age 60 or so would permanently qualify for TANF, WIC, and, of course, Medicaid. I'm sure Rush Limbaugh will be on it right away. :rolleyes:

Sweet, if I could get WIC, husband and I could afford milk!


I mean, technically the gov't pays for everything we do anyway... but that's cause he works for 'em. ;)

But if you got knocked up just so you could get on WIC, then you'd already have all the milk you wanted. Damn you, Catch 22!

No see, I'm ALREADY knocked up... until after I ovulate and my test is negative.. so that's a solid few weeks where I could pick up my WIC checks and buy milk. :)

IT'S FOOLPROOF I TELL YOU.

What we need now is for an intrepid Cellar lady to journey down to Arizona and put in her claim for government benefits based on her pregnancy as declared by the Aridzonker State Legislature. Our volunteer test case shouldn't even need a positive pee stick never mind a document from a medical professional, since by Arizona law, to be female is to be pregnant. QED, right?

If no one else wants to do it, I can be over the Arizona state line in 20 minutes and in another 20 be sitting in the nearest office of Arizona Health and Human Services. Tempting... :sadsperm::female:

I'd love for someone to do that.

With media in tow, of course.

Better, I'd love for every adult woman in Arizona to do it.

That sort of civil disobedience which isn't even disobedient. Kind of like a satirical hyper-obedience, or something.

I have just sent an e-mail to the Arizona Department of Social Services. The part about being homeless in Kayenta is a small white lie, but I COULD be homeless there easily enough. One time I was down on the rez and thought I'd camped on BLM land. Wrong! I had inadvertantly camped on the edge of one of the tribal grazing areas. A Navajo lady with a flock of sheep showed up the next morning to look me over and I apologized for my mistake. She just waved me off and told me no one exactly owns the land down there, although clans will usually graze their animals in the same areas every year. Since I wasn't trying to graze sheep and must have appeared harmless enough, she told me to come back any time I wanted. It's nice out here, isn't it, she said. I had to agree. I like the Navajo alot. A white rancher would have probably turned me in for tresspassing or something.

OK, so here's my e-mail:

I am a homeless woman currently camped in the Kayenta vicinity. Today I was informed that the Arizona State Legislature has passed a law stating that a woman is considered pregnant two weeks before her first missed period. Thus, I find myself in the position of being a single pregnant woman with a disability and with no current means of caring for myself and my unborn child as legislated by our law makers. Can you please refer me to an agency which would assist me in applying for programs such as TANF, WIC, and Medicaid? I am deeply concerned for the well being of my unborn child. I also do not wish to break any child endangerment laws due to my lack of resources to assist me through this unplanned pregnancy. Although my camp is located within the Navajo Nation, I am not a Native American and do not qualify for assistance through any Indian Health Agency. I have no access to a phone, so I am sending this e-mail via a terminal at the public library. Please tell me what I should do from now. If you need me to take a drug test just let me know when and where and I will gladly comply with this and all other pertinent Arizona laws. Thanking you in advance - Ms. SamIam

I'll post any reply I may get from the good people at Arizona Social Services and Child Protection. ;)