The Cellar - Food, State by State

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- Food and Drink (http://cellar.org/forumdisplay.php?f=26)

- - Food, State by State (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=29549)

xoxoxoBruce

10-19-2013 10:27 AM

Food, State by State

Quote:

28. Scrapple (Pennsylvania)

But the cheesesteak mer m'mer Phiwwy cheesesteak mer! Shut it. The famous grease-and-garbage sandwich belongs to the city of Philadelphia, which A) is the worst place on Earth, and B) doesn't come close to representing the entire state of Pennsylvania.

In a given day, 500 times as many Pennsylvanians are scraping possums off the motorway to add volume to their scrapple as are standing in line with the tourists in the Junior Varsity Metropolis to have a bucket of Cheez Whiz dumped onto a fistful of thinly sliced sewer rat.

Your state food is this salty, greasy, gray, abjectly horrifying pig-rectum-mash, and, fuck you, it is delicious.

(Also, a 9-year-old in her parents' kitchen could make a tastier cheesesteak in 10 minutes than any to be found in Philadelphia. Thhhppbbpbpbppbbp.)

The rest

orthodoc

10-19-2013 10:35 AM

Hilarious and horrible.

Big Sarge

10-19-2013 11:56 AM

32. Mud Pie (Mississippi)

This is essentially a pile of brownie dough floating in a gallon of chocolate syrup. It is delicious. Let's take this moment to remember that Mississippi leads the nation in adult diabetes.

See how I earned the nickname "Big Sarge"

Clodfobble

10-19-2013 12:22 PM

Quote:

25. Bull testicles (Montana)

Oddly, bull testicles come in so low on the list not because of ew, cow nads!!1! (seriously, the weirdest thing about eating bull testicles is the bizarre interspecies gay panic—"I don't put no balls in this-a-here mouth!"—they arouse in the food-scared weenie population), but because, eh, they're just not all that exciting. What else you got, Montana? Come back with, like, eyeball pie or something. Cow-snot poppers. Braised asshole. Something really challenging. Welcome to Jeb's Montana Steakhouse! Try the heifer surprise: She gives birth right into your open mouth!

infinite monkey

10-19-2013 02:49 PM

I was scrolling through the list and wondered what Ohio's would be. Then I thought "cincy style chili." and when I read the description I laughed and laughed. I can eat a Skyline hot dog with shredded cheese but the rest is on par with White Castle as far as crap food that's inexplicably popular! ;)

Gravdigr

10-19-2013 04:59 PM

Quote:

Welcome to Jeb's Montana Steakhouse! Try the heifer surprise: She gives birth right into your open mouth!

Oh, shit! Wild, riotous, howls of maniacal laughter!!!

Gravdigr

10-19-2013 05:23 PM

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by infinite monkey (Post 880894)

..."cincy style chili." and when I read the description I laughed and laughed...

That was funny. All those descriptions were.
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Attachment 45724

It sounds similar to my own version of Son-Of-A-Bitch Stew...Take a large pot, and put everything in the kitchen in that son-of-a-bitch.

Pete Zicato

10-20-2013 12:06 AM

Illinois - number one in regional food and political corruption. So proud. Sniff.

jake6567

10-21-2013 05:08 AM

red or green-New Mexico

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