Don't Wash Children
 

a) they'll only get dirty again
b) it's easier to give a cat an afro perm
c) it's more environmentally friendly to stand them on the compost heap once a week, give them a light tap on the head so the dirt shatters off and is put to good use, and a great deal of water is saved.


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d) people won't crowd them in swimming pools
e) mosquitos will find them less appetizing
f) their split ends will stick together

g) it'll be easier to find them in the dark
h) you can stand them at the other end of the garden to distract the flies when you're sat out on the patio
i) no need to worry about unwanted boyfriends or girlfriends for your offspring


Sent by thought transference

j) Sooner or later, child services will come and take them. Now there's a plus!

k) you can start a Chia kid collection

l) one of anything they have a pair of will disappear in the wash :eek:

Uh-oh. We washed Bryanna and found out she is really a ginger

Well at least you can play join-the-dots or that box game with her freckles when you're bored. And if you wash her again, you'll have a whole new game to play.

M--An immune system is a terrible thing to waste.

n) won't have to buy sunscreen

o) You can use them as a chalk board and write messages on them.

Sent by thought transference

I wonder if I could sell advertising on them?