Pillow fart
 

Clone thread yaas, but still ... what do you do when your SO lets loose with a poison-gas emission that threatens to bounce you out of bed? Do you bounce, and end up on the sofa? Do you pull the bedcovers over your nose and mouth in a futile attempt to protect yourself? Do you give as good as you get?

EVERY couple encounters this. So ... ?? If I had the skills I'd make a poll, but I don't, at least tonight. Maybe someone else can help me out here.

I know I've posted this before:

One of my former friends told this to me and I believe him 100%. He and his gf were laying in bed, playing around after the deed, when she let a teensy little *toot*. She got terribly embarrassed, and said something to the tune of "I didn't think it would make any noise.". My buddy, being the type of guy he is, peeled the covers back and, bearing down, let loose with one single giant clap of a fart. His gf's face instantly went pale. Ya see, the bed was against the wall of his room, and his back was to the wall. On that wall, after the fart, was a perfect shotgun spray pattern of tiny shit particles. He had sharted. On the wall. In front of his gf.

When he told that story the first time I laughed for two weeks.

Three posts in and it's thread drift already.

There is an account, which I am assured is true in every detail, of Queen Victoria returning from Victoria Station (London) with a visiting head of state from some far flung corner of the Empire to Buckingham Palace at the beginning of a State Visit.

They were being conveyed in an open carriage drawn by four immaculately turned out Windsor Greys. Anyone who knows horses will be quite used to their flatulent nature. As if on cue, one of the horses let rip with an equine fart of Krakatoa like proportions. The Queen, somewhat embarrassed by this, turned to her visitor and said 'I'm so sorry about that'. Visiting Head of State is said to have replied 'It's quite all right. If you hadn't have said anything, I would have thought it was one of the horses'.

True story.

Had to be done.

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Possibly my favorite commercial of all time: