Replacement hosts suck
 

Been watching the replacement hosts while David Letterman recovers from his illness, and boy! do they suck!

Every night there's another one, and every night they come across as nervous, forced, etc. It just goes to show how difficult it really is to be a quality host, and how completely natural and comfortable Letterman is with the camera.

Only two of the replacements I've seen have been good. Elvis Costello was like a natural out there, and his instinct to entertain and his quick wit were obvious. Last night Bill Cosby did his bit, and Cos' quality is that he knows specifically what's funny and can extract his brand of broad humor from almost anyone.

They should let me host...I think I'd do a fine job.

I watched Cos Tuesday night. Clark Terry was a blast, and I'll always have a soft spot for Cosby. I've been a fan since I was about 11 or 12 years old.

The Belt
 

"The Belt was 9 feet long, and 8 feet wide ... and it had meathooks that would rip the flesh from your bones."

"Go get me something to beat you with! If my father ever told me that, I'd tear the corner off a piece of paper and say, "There you are, Dad; go ahead, wail me."

"I can't DEAL with it! I can't deal with it! This dude took a piece of meat - and he put it on the grill - then he turned it over - it had three black stripes on it! - and then it took it off the grill - and he put it between two pieces of bread - and he sold it to some dude - and the dude ATE it!!! I can't DEAL with it..."

VOOBAH ... VOOBAH ... VOOBAH .... *ding*

"Riiigggghhhttt...."

"What's a cubit?"

"Who is this really?"