Shit from my desk
 

I talked before about things I found in my desk, but I can't remember where, so I'll put in here. I don't understand why I can't remember, I have a perfect memory, or my name isn't Ralph.

Jerry Penacoli was an evening news anchor in Philly for about five years before moving on to what Wiki calls, “actor and entertainment reporter”. Before he left town there was a story widely circulated that he paid a wee hours visit to the ER to have an errant Gerbil removed. I don’t know anyone who actually believed it, but it was a running joke for years, that never had to be explained. There was also rumors of Richard Gere having the same plight.

In that atmosphere I acquired a bunch of these lightweight chains with a fine spring loop on each end. The total length about 5 inches.

http://cellar.org/2016/gerbal jerk.jpg

Sick fuck that I am, and in the previous mentioned atmosphere, I invented the Gerbil Jerk™©®, a recovery leash for your shaved Gerbil. I put them in small plastic bags with a fancy label, and gave them out around Christmas.
I gave one to a friend in Dallas who I only see once a year, and the following year he returned the favor, with this.

Home made paper envelope...
http://cellar.org/2016/butt1.jpg

With a home made hand crafted card inside...
http://cellar.org/2016/butt2.jpg

containing the message...
http://cellar.org/2016/butt3.jpg

He should not be allowed to fly, or handle sharp objects, until he's checked out by a board certified shrink.

Now *that* is some Art right there.

He also made a short video of me, doing standup, in Vegas, naked.

If you're gonna be naked on video in Vegas, it's probably better to be standing up.

Yeah, I am. It's only 428KB, but it's an SWF(Shockwave Flash) file.

That's some quality shit right there!

Gerbian...:lol2:

Well it's on my desk, I was checking my computer's prostate a found these.

One more...

I was digging through a seldom explored drawer containing candles and incense, and found these two cassettes. Late at night after everyone was pretty spaced, these would wake up the crowd with a lot of smartass retorts and laughter. :fumette:

My drawers have been seldom-explored of late, too.:(

"An Historical" bugs me, though I suppose it's technically allowable based on your pronunciation of "historical".

I bet the content would bug me too.

I'm sure it would, unless you were as fucked up as we were. :haha:

I was cleaning out an old computer pre-donating to goodwill and found a folder of charts. These 5 pertain to the holidays but unsourced and mostly undated they're only for amusement, rather than information, now.

Here's some on pot, same caveats as above...