Favorite Stupid Sign
 

     You know those signs or, perhaps more accurately warning labels, that exist only for the really stupid? The most famous at this point is probably "Coffee served HOT!" You read it and think, "How dumb does a bastard have to be to not know that without reading it?" We all know it's just to prevent lawsuits, but I'm always amazed at the variety of these signs.
     I think my favorite is the one on Coke/vending machines; "Do not rock or tilt. Injury or death may occur." That's not that funny in and of itself, but the picture that usually accompanies it of a guy standing next to a machine that's falling over with the little lines over his head, that have to be shorthand for "OH SHIT!" makes me laugh. Should it be funny? Probably not. But if that's the case then the Darwin Awards shouldn't be funny either...
     So, what are your favorite stupid signs?

my wifes hair dryer has a sternly worded message telling me that i must never, EVER, use the hair dryer while in the shower.

setting aside for one minute the fact that water conducts electricty, etcetera, the 'hair dryer' warns me not to dry my hair while taking a shower.

ugh. 2 degrees of stupid and possibly a third, if i could remember the full text of the warning.

~james

I read a piece about these stupid warnings once... the author was suggesting that the warnings probably give more people ideas than they prevent from doing stupid things. The item that set him off and inspired the column was a warning on his toaster that "the appliance should never be turned on when it is placed so that the bread slices are in a horizontal position".

Not a Warning Label, But . . .
 

My favorite stupid sign isn't a warning label, but a label from a little bit of "Americana" -- a wooden toy which is supposed to be reminiscent of colonial-era homemade toys. The label reads:

"Take a step back in time and reminisce of simpler times with Hometown Memories. Remember your favorite toy truck, those sturdy building blocks and that lovingly worn, fuzzy teddy bear. Recapture those nostalgic memories and a bit of history with this classic American collection."

In tiny letters at the bottom of the text: "Made in China"

There are so many it's hard to choose a favorite. Don't eat the deciccate is a favorite. As entertaining as these signs and the Darwin awards are, the people that caused these signs to exist are much more so. I was working with a guy yesterday that caused me to finally say "You dyed your hair didn't you. You're really blond, aren't you." He didn't get it. I wasn't surprised.

Kinda reminds me of this website, originally posted by Verbatim a LONG time ago. I still get a kick out of it.

Brian

REST AREA 10 miles
LARGER AREA 25 miles

That Dan Aykroyd/Candace Bergen (or was it Jane Curtain) skit from SNL about dangerous toys, particularly the bag of glass.

I like the warning on the cap of the lava lamp bottle that says "Caution: do not ingest".

     The lava lamp thing is a little diturbing, but not at disturbing as the label on some culing irons. "For external use only." Just think about it...