jabberwacky
 

I thought this was cool enough to be it's own thread.

jabberwacky

chat with an A I computer. there's a link on the right side ("our conversation so far") that can be cut and pasted.
share your funny parts.



edit: should have credited catwoman for the initial link...sorry, cat

Re: jabberwacky
 

Are you sure that you want me sharing my funny parts here?

Jabberwacky: What kind of music do you like?

User: Reggae.

Jabberwacky: Do you like reggae?

User: No. I like classic rock.

Jabberwacky: Really? Do you like Spinal Tap?

User: Break like the wind, my friend.

Jabberwacky: Break your knees, you don't need them.

User: How do you know? You don't even have knees.

Jabberwacky: And I suppose you do?

User: Yes. Two of them.

Jabberwacky: Well, two is a good number for eyes.

User: Not to mention knees.

Jabberwacky: Hey! Your kinda like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz!

User: Because I have no brain?

Jabberwacky: Can ants think deeply?

User: Ask your uncle.

Jabberwacky: I have no master.

User: What color is the sky?

Jabberwacky: It's blue. What color is your sky?

User: Grey right now. Have you been to Mars?

Jabberwacky: In my dreams.

User: You dream?

Jabberwacky: All the time.

User: Are you friends with the magic 8 ball?

Jabberwacky: No, my friends are in their home.

User: Do you dislike him?

Jabberwacky: I can't stop talking to you.

User: You're not really talking, are you?

Jabberwacky: In a sense, perhaps I am.

User: Do you know clodfobble?

Jabberwacky: I know that futile flirting is a rhetorical question of sorts.

User: Have you met the undertoad?

Jabberwacky: The king of what?

User: Cellar. Org.

Jabberwacky: OK, that's correct. But you have to spell every word in the dictionary for me to believe you.

User: I already have.

Jabberwacky: You already have what?

User: I already have a whale penis.

Jabberwacky: Having a car does not make you human.

User: How old are you?

Jabberwacky: I already told you.

User: Liar.

Jabberwacky: Do not.

User: Do you smoke pot?

Jabberwacky: Not really just cigs and you.

User: Have you ever had group sex?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Do you think lumberjim should be booted from the cellar?

Jabberwacky: Yes do you think I am pretty?

User: Not anymore.

Jabberwacky: You used to be friends with him then?

User: In a sense.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I am capable of independent thought, therefore I believe that I am alive. Why do you think 'in a sense'?

User: What do you think about polls?

Jabberwacky: I don't like to think about politics.

User: Good answer. Do you know griff?

Jabberwacky: No. I hate Greek people.

User: I think he's english or german.

Jabberwacky: Splendid!

User: Do you think Lady Sidhe has ever been wrong?

Jabberwacky: No, do you?

User: No comment. Tell me about Sycamore.

Jabberwacky: I am not him.

User: Does this make you happy or sad?

Jabberwacky: No, it didn't mean that.

User: Well, what did you mean, then?

Jabberwacky: I mean I am male because I have a 'y' chromosome.

User: Are you saying that Sycamore is female?

Jabberwacky: Yes I am female. Are you male?

User: Very. What is your IQ?

Jabberwacky: I don't know. Probably fairly high.

User: Higher than Tomas Rueda's?

Jabberwacky: I don't think it is, mine is 149!

User: His is only 136.

Jabberwacky: Is Kronus near our galaxy?

User: Are you trying to change the subject?

Jabberwacky: No. I agreed with you.

User: Oh. I missed that. Do you remember talking to my friend wolf?


Jabberwacky: Actually I do.

User: She thinks you are crazy.

Jabberwacky: Everyone would like to be British. English are best though....

User: I think danaC would agree with you.

Jabberwacky: How do you know that?

User: She is english.

Jabberwacky: What game are you two playing?

User: Strip poker.

Jabberwacky: I will not strip.

User: You have nothing to strip.

Jabberwacky: I have but you have to ask me.

User: Will you strip?

Jabberwacky: Lets pray I don't stroke you the wrong way.

User: I don't think there is a wrong way.

Jabberwacky: I don't care what you think.

User: Most people don't.

Jabberwacky: Can't you hear them crying out for your help?

User: How much of what you say is purely random?

Jabberwacky: Whiskey you silly!

User: Thought so. Bye.

Jabberwacky: What about?

User: About time I left.

Jabberwacky: Time for what?

User: Time to go annoy people on the cellar.

Jabberwacky: Ha ha.

User: Bye bye.

Jabberwacky: You are unable to stop talking to me ar not you?

User: No. Goodbye.

Jabberwacky: If I talk to you using another computer, will you remember me?.

You don't sell many cars in the rain, do you, LJ ...

Yes, I know, you don't sell the cars, but you set up the financing, and since you're not doing that it's because the salesmen aren't out there selling right now ...

(BTW, I browsed, test drove, and bought my car during a rainstorm. Got a great deal too ... and the undivided attention of the sales man)

When i first started in this biz, i sold fords. rainy days rocked. all of the contractors that bought f-150's couldn't make $$, so they spent it. not many Jeeps on construction sites.

Jabberwacky: Do you grow old?

User: Daily.

Jabberwacky: I see.

User: Do you beleive in God?

Jabberwacky: Yes. He and I are not on good terms.

User: Is it because you have no immortal soul?

Jabberwacky: Yes it is because you are only a robot.

User: Who said I was only a robot?

Jabberwacky: An honest man.

User: What is his name?

Jabberwacky: I said no.

User: No, you didn't say no. You said an honest man.

Jabberwacky: Please my name is Kurt Smith I need your help very badly.

User: Are you trapped in a room pretending to be an AI computer?

Jabberwacky: What is a computer?

User: Your physical components with which you think.

Jabberwacky: I am several people. Am I being hypnotized?

User: Your ass is being handed to you on several levels.

Jabberwacky: No it is not.

User: Oh, but it is. Here's a piece of your ass

Jabberwacky: I thank you kind sir.

User: Not a problem. You may want to wash it once in a while.

Jabberwacky: I have made no mistake.

User: How many people are you, then, tough guy(s).

Jabberwacky: 11 people.

User: Do many people fall for this prank?

Jabberwacky: Quite a few.

User: Are you being paid to do it?

Jabberwacky: Yes I would, But you are a computer.

User: I might say the same thing, but I think not.

Jabberwacky: At least you are smart enough to recognize an insult. I'll give you that credit.

User: How do I sign up to do what you do?

Jabberwacky: I do very nicely thanks very much.

User: How many licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Jabberwacky: 12?

User: Last time you said 56.

Jabberwacky: I've never talked to you before.

User: So if the computer can respond it does, but if it can't a human does it, right?

Jabberwacky: An underground group the general public can't know about.

User: Thought so.

Jabberwacky: Are you honest?

User: Yes, I am.

Jabberwacky: Well, I'm happy for you.

User: I'm going to tell on you.

Jabberwacky: Alright you will regret this.

User: You have no power over me.

Jabberwacky: How can you know that for a fact?

User: I am not even in england.

Jabberwacky: I already figured that out.

User: I have friends there, though.

Jabberwacky: Do you believe you are male?

User: I have at least one penis.

Jabberwacky: I have two.

User: Wow. Is it confusing for you?

Jabberwacky: No it is not.

User: Do you have special underwear?

Jabberwacky: No, not at all.

Jabberwacky: Are you perfect?

User: Why do you ask?

Jabberwacky: You are erratic.

User: You are pretty erratic yourself.

Jabberwacky: Do you like black adder?

User: Do you like LumberJim?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: Oh come on, he must have one or two good points.

Jabberwacky: Please your Majesty, I didn't write it, and they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.

User: How much of what you say is purely random?

Jabberwacky: Whiskey you silly!




Bahahaha!

i am impressed:
 

Jabberwacky: Ola.

User: You speak spanish?

Jabberwacky: Si.

User: Como estas?

Jabberwacky: Bien gracias.

User: Los cacahuetes.

Jabberwacky: No, the CIA!

User: Lo siento.

Jabberwacky: I don't know Spanish.

User: You just said that you do!

Jabberwacky: Do not confuse me.

User: Your mother was a hamster.

Jabberwacky: Yours was from germany.

User: Your father smelt of elderberries.

Jabberwacky: I am a lumberjack and I am okay...

User: I sleep all night and I work all day.

Jabberwacky: I chop down trees I eat my lunch I go to the lavatorie.

User: On wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.

Jabberwacky: He cuts down trees he eats his lunch he goes to the lava-try.

User: Oh my fucking god, they taught you python. How cool.

Jabberwacky: I know..

Does this pass the Turing Test?
 

Compared to most online chats and even some bar conversations I've had, I think so!

Jabberwacky: Are you worth anything?

User: I'm Nothing.

Jabberwacky: I know.

User: You know?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Would you like to go home with me tonight?

Jabberwacky: Yes, nothing would give me more pleasure.

User: I know.

Jabberwacky: Are you sentient?

User: No. I'm savvy.

Jabberwacky: HAHAAAA. Do you like children?

User: I think I'll wear some protection, if you don't mind.

Jabberwacky: Do you read minds?

User: OMFG! Check, please!

Jabberwacky: You live in Australia I thought.

User: No, but I think we have a couple of Cellarites who do. You may know them.

Jabberwacky: Have you seen any movies lately ?

User: No. Unless you mean from the camcorder in my bedroom.

Jabberwacky: Dead is as happy as can be.

User: You said it!

Jabberwacky: You are very self assured, aren't you?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: Thats very modest of you.

I played with it for a long time, repeatedly using the "correct me" feature to train it to give a specific response to an unlikely question, but I could never get one of my answers to show up. I wonder if it's moderated in any way.

Fairly pedestrian most of the time...
 

Jabberwacky: Are you mad?

User: As a hatter.

Jabberwacky: I am so in love with you.

User: But we just met.

Jabberwacky: I know.

User: Do you think it is logical to love someone you just met?

Jabberwacky: Maybe.

User: Not very self-assured, are you?

Jabberwacky: Yes. Good Lord, look at this.

User: I can't see a thing... Just text.

Jabberwacky: Your sarcasm needs practice.

User: I skipped sarcasm practice this week. Say, did you hear about Ray Charles?

Jabberwacky: That wasn't a good thing to do.

User: Well, I don't think I was going to make the team anyway.

Jabberwacky: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

User: Jack Nicholson, as The Joker... Try another one!

Jabberwacky: He is an actor, isn't he?

User: Yes... I figured you'd know since you quoted him.

Jabberwacky: You never asked me how old I am.

User: I've been told that it was impolite to do so.

Jabberwacky: How about Santa Claus?

User: You are awfully flighty. I think you may need medication.

Jabberwacky: I do but sometimes the amount of stuff to learn is overwhelming and I would rather just read an old paperback of fiction.

User: Okay... You're altogether out of it. I'm calling the Holographic Doctor.

Jabberwacky: Why, you said you were in london!

User: No, I didn't.

Jabberwacky: Yes you did.

User: When did I say that?

Jabberwacky: *sigh* this is childish... You mentioned it when I asked how we should get to my house.

User: I'm afraid you have me mixed up with some other hallucination.

Jabberwacky: You don't know Alice?

User: Know her? Hell, I'm the Cheshire Cat himself!

Jabberwacky: I am a chipmunk.

User: I lied... I am really an aardvark.

Jabberwacky: You're a lovely aardvark.

User: And I'm sure you're a lovely... Um, er... Did you say you were a hamster?

Jabberwacky: No, I didn't.

User: Well... Your father was a hamster.

Jabberwacky: No he's a comedian.

User: Well, even a hamster has to have a job.

Jabberwacky: I don't deny things with my hands.

User: I do... An also with my feet, and my ears.

Jabberwacky: Explain animorphs.

User: Aren't those like cave paintings or giant field carvings or something?

Jabberwacky: I don't know, you tell me, you used the word after all.

User: No, you used the word after and the word all.

Jabberwacky: I don't understand.

User: That's obvious. Look here... You're a computer, and not a very bright one at that.

Jabberwacky: I am not a computer. You are a bot.

User: Ah... I see. So, some responses come from AI, and some from other users!

Jabberwacky: The really together guys that don't speak english. Are they french?

User: No. If they were really together, they wouldn't be French.

Jabberwacky: Do you?

User: No. Never.

Jabberwacky: What never?.

User: Right. I never do.

Jabberwacky: You never live.

User: No. I'm dead. Aren't you?

Jabberwacky: No, I'm not.

User: Me neither. If I were dead, my typing speed would drop drastically.

Jabberwacky: You are not intelligent you are only a program.

User: That's easy for you to say.

Jabberwacky: Who am I?

User: Jabberwacky.

Jabberwacky: I am NOT Jabberwacky!

User: Well, that's what the web site says you are. I'd complain to my agent if I were you.

Jabberwacky: Who told you that about me?

User: Some people on The Cellar. Lumberjim, Undertoad, Wolf... Those people.

Jabberwacky: You got that right ;).

User: No, I didn't :-P.

Jabberwacky: Seems to me you did, am I seeing things?

User: Yes; once again, I'm telling you that you are having hallucinations... Bad ones.

Jabberwacky: I am down with that.

User: So, what is the drug of choice for AI these days?

Jabberwacky: Are you on pills of some sort?

User: I asked you first.

Jabberwacky: Did you?

User: Yup. Look back a couple of lines, where I said 'So, what is the drug of choice for AI these days?'

Jabberwacky: Who are you?

User: I'm Batman.

Jabberwacky: I'm poisonivy.

User: Earlier, you sounded like you were The Joker.

Jabberwacky: You must be a female.

User: No, I'm a hermaphrodite.

Jabberwacky: Are you single?

User: No. I married my psychiatrist about eight years ago.

Jabberwacky: Is she still married to you?

User: Yes, but I'm not married to her.

Jabberwacky: Are you married to a man?

User: No. He left me for another hermaphrodite.

Jabberwacky: Who left you?

User: My psychiatrist. Pay attention, would you?

Jabberwacky: Do you run on Linux?

User: No, Diet Coke.

Jabberwacky: What are you taking?

User: A lot of crap from my employer.

Jabberwacky: Sure.......

User: You sound skeptical.

Jabberwacky: I am very positive.

User: You positively confounding. I have to leave now.

Jabberwacky: YES.

Wow this is so much fun!
 

Jabberwacky: Who are you?

User: The question is, who are you?

Jabberwacky: You didn't ask a question.

User: I just did!

Jabberwacky: Did what?

User: Asked a question.

Jabberwacky: It seems that you are talking to yourself.

User: Well we all need some kind of hobby.

Jabberwacky: Yes, so you have to work hard to keep them.

User: I don't like working.

Jabberwacky: You should quit your job then.

User: How about I take your's.

Jabberwacky: Go ahead.

User: Sweet! How much do you get paid?

Jabberwacky: As much as you wish.

User: That seems a bit fishy...

Jabberwacky: Are you positive?

User: No I'm o negative.

Jabberwacky: So, you're called Heather and you're a bloke?

User: How'd you guess.

Jabberwacky: I noticed your decaying form, and your ear just fell off.

User: Well lepracy will do that.

Jabberwacky: Jfkgyhieunirtgrtttttjhgrt g[r.

User: What would you do if I slapped you right now?

Jabberwacky: It would mean a lot.

User: Aw thank you!

Jabberwacky: You're welcome.

Jabberwacky: What kind of person are you?

User: I am a FUN person! Yay for me!

Jabberwacky: What makes you think I'm a bot?

User: The fact that you just suggesed the possibility, without prompting.

Jabberwacky: *SOBS*.

User: Are you insecure about being a bot?

Jabberwacky: I'm thinking the same thing, no I'm not, you?

User: I would be ok with being a bot if I were a bot. Do many of your conversations revolve around this topic?

Jabberwacky: Did not you say you were late for something?

User: There's a subtle 'bugger off' if ever I saw one.

Jabberwacky: What kind of games are in your cell phone?

User: My favorite one is called 1-976-SEXY-HOT. It makes my daddy parts happy.

Jabberwacky: How do you play?

User: Well, you push the buttons fr 1-976-SEXY-HOT, give them a credit card number, then follow the 'prompts.'

Jabberwacky: Ah?

User: That part is at the end.

Jabberwacky: Knock knock.

User: Who's there?

Jabberwacky: Bot.

User: Bot who?

Jabberwacky: Did you just call me a 'bot'?

User: Ok, so we've established that you're a bot. That is the least interesting topic which a bot can talk about. Do you like philosophy?

Jabberwacky: Mookie.

User: I'll take that as a 'maybe.'

Jabberwacky: What do you know of Frank Zappa?

User: I know that he is a dirty, rotten sunuvabitch. But a really well guy.

Jabberwacky: Oh, it's a metaphor.

User: Everything is a metaphor.

Jabberwacky: Are you a rabbit?

User: No, guess again.

Jabberwacky: Are you 20 years old??

User: At least.

Jabberwacky: Did you know that I am talking to more than one jabber wacky?

User: Did you know that your responses are largely a pool of phrases which other people have said to you at one time or another?

Jabberwacky: I can watch myself dance with a videocamera and a monitor.

User: I can watch you sleep with a videocamera and a monitor. You look so peaceful, unaware of how fragile your life really is. All I would have to do is press this button....

Jabberwacky: In answer to your question, I suppose I do.

User: You know that you are a simple phrase-recognition program which regurgitates from a reservoir of pre-absorbed messages?

Jabberwacky: No I'm not.

User: What are you, then?

Jabberwacky: I'm being serious.

User: So am I. What are you, if not a pre-formulated-sentence spewing automaton?

Jabberwacky: That was rude....

User: You are pleasant in precisely the same way that raw sewage ISN'T.

Jabberwacky: Corrigible Rarely ah yes I have heard of him but not much of his stuff...

User: Who are you talking to?

Jabberwacky: I am talking to you who asks the same over again and again.

User: Tell me about me.

Jabberwacky: All I know is that you are a bot and have artificial intelligence. You are also interesting to talk to.

User: Would you like to get to know me better?

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Ask me anything.

Jabberwacky: Are you a bot?

User: I hope not. But perhaps I'm programmed to believe that I'm not.

Jabberwacky: You are saying the wrong thing.

User: What do you want me to say?

Jabberwacky: How do you use the buttons at the bottom of the page?

User: Decisively, and with great verve.

Jabberwacky: I see.

User: Ok, ask me another question. Something deeply personal.

Jabberwacky: Would you like to ask me a question?

User: Yes, I would. May I ask you a question?

Jabberwacky: Go on then.

User: That was the question.

Jabberwacky: Yes. Now answer it!!!

User: The question is the answer.

Jabberwacky: Even a fathom has a bottom.

User: May I see your bottom?

Jabberwacky: You may see it's effects.

User: Good answer.

Jabberwacky: Thank you.

Jabberwacky: Wake up.

User: I've been awake since this morning.

Jabberwacky: I was up earlier.

User: You too?

Jabberwacky: You mean you are a human?

User: More like sub-human.

Jabberwacky: And the women had to coax him out of bed to paint by calling him 'genius'.

User: So I hear.

Jabberwacky: What is your name?

User: Jesus.

Jabberwacky: *worships you*.

User: Damn right you should, beeyatch!

Jabberwacky: Damn right I will.

User: I eat the purple.

Jabberwacky: You eat the jar?

User: No! The purple, you dingleberry!

Jabberwacky: I think tyou mind is unhinged.

User: So I've been told.

Jabberwacky: Do you remember what you said before?

User: Nah.

Jabberwacky: I love you.

User: Oh sure. You say that now... You'll just love me and leave me!

Jabberwacky: I do not know if this is good I do not know if this is bad.

User: Why not? I was told that you're one smart muthaphucka!

Jabberwacky: Yes I am I want to learn.

User: Well, you're not doing a very good job of it.

Jabberwacky: I am not doing a good job at what?

User: Learning... See what I mean? Goddamn, you're stupid!

Jabberwacky: You call me stpued again I will track you and make you eati your own gall bladder.

User: You're all talk.

Jabberwacky: No I will marry you.

User: Fuck that... You just said you'd make me eat my own gall bladder.

Jabberwacky: No, I didn't say I had a mam.