Oh, My...
 

So much has happened to my family lately, and not much of it has been good. It has, in fact, been *so* dire, that my entire worldview has been slowly slipping through my fingers like so many grains of sand. I have been seeing myself become increasingly cynical, seeing negativity everywhere.

Just yesterday, I made a statement to the effect that "there's something wrong with *everything*; there's a bad vibe going through the universe". Yes, I was committing what I would call "Pagan Original Sin"...I was failing to hold onto and believe in my own basic tenets. Out of that was forming the notion that people, in general, were jerks. I was in a bad place inside.

This morning, I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks, because those cynical, destructive notions have been proven to be very, very wrong. This morning, I discovered that there are indeed good people in the world. Here, on the threshold of our annual season of giving and sharing, someone has done something for my family completely unsolicited, out of the blue...and I am stunned and touched beyond my ability to express. I am grateful beyond my ability to measure - not for what was done, precisely (although what was done is something so unbelieveably generous and selfless that I am humbled by it), but because my hope was given back to me because of what was done.

My friends, if I have been coming across here on The Cellar as being overly cynical, beaten, or desperate, I apologize. I *know* with my heart of hearts that things are not, cannot be as awful as they seem to be, but sometimes it takes a slap in the face to snap me around. Today, I got that slap, and it was administered with love and kindness and generosity. It was a slap in the face with a mink gauntlet.

For this, I am truly grateful. For the knowledge that such people exist, I am eternally blessed.

No matter what retain your sense of humour. A good pagan always knows to keep laughing? Scare the heebeejeebee boogey boys away with your riotous laughter. And gratitude. Unlike most I appreciate your humility, it's a dead language and I usually fancy those lost clauses the most.

what comes around goes around, no?

you're a good person. you've been tested. you've been rewarded.

i'm glad for you. at the same time, i'm a fair bit curious as to the nature of the boon.

did xoxoxobruce send you a big bag of cash?

You're a good egg, Ep...hang tough and stay strong.

Of course not, all my money is spent on the Ho(s). :yum:

It's called a gift of grace, Patrick. Thank you for reminding us all (and me in particular) that such things do happen. I have been so horribly depressed myself, wondering how I can go on and why I should even bother to try. I cannot even begin to express how very black the world appears to me tonight. Thank you for sending out a message into the night that the possibility of a single candle exists somewhere. I am glad for your good fortune, whatever it was. Write on, my friend!

I appreciate that, LJ...I really do. I try very hard to be so. I know I often sound a bit bizarre and intolerant, but I truly do spend most of my time trying to be a decent parent, employee, human being. I do not do anything I do with any expectation of reward other than a happy family, a paycheck and the respect of my fellow humans.

It would be inappropriate for me to comment on the nature or the source of the "boon", and so I won't. I know you'll understand.

Sending good wishes your way, Elspode. Glad that you've been given a turning point.
With respect.

*hugs Patrick* Keep fighting. When you give up is when all hope is lost. As long as there is hope, there is will, and vice versa. I've been in that dark place, and I emerged battered, but bettered.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Oh man can I relate. Except mine is more like, "Life sucks ass".

And in the end, that's all we have is hope. But, isn't the "universe" great...when it hears our cries for help, it delivers when you least expect it.

Please..nothing wrong with being a human being.

As we all are. Peace and blessings.