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-   -   Bush to Return to Conservative Roots (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=8047)

richlevy 04-01-2005 04:01 PM

Bush to Return to Conservative Roots
 
Quote:

Bush to Return to Conservative Roots.

(AP) - Citing personal concerns over the Terry Schiavo case, President Bush today announced that he has committed himself to reduce government intrusion in personal lives.

In a suprise news conference, the President read a short statement. "I was personally appalled by how this tragic case spun out of control" the President stated. The President apologized for his own actions, stating that he "allowed (his) heart to go where good sense should have told me not to".

The President went on to outline what observers characterized as a change in policy. "Ronald Reagan was right to want to keep government as far away from people's private lives as possible. As conservatives, we critcized liberals in their attempts to bully Americans, and I can't justify my own party doing the same".

After speaking with officials in his own cabinet, the President pledged to call in ranking members of Congress to address these issues. "We promised our supporters a big tent, and I will hold myself to that promise".

Adminstration officials were unable to be reached for comment. White House spokesperson Ari Fleischer stated "This is not really a departure from the President's initial approach. He is simply clarifying his original position to prevent any misunderstanding".












April Fools

lookout123 04-01-2005 04:20 PM

dick. i was skeptical, but you caught me hoping that someone who calls themselves "conservative" would remember what that was supposed to mean.

richlevy 04-01-2005 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookout123
dick. i was skeptical, but you caught me hoping that someone who calls themselves "conservative" would remember what that was supposed to mean.

Thanks. I have to work on my 'fake copywriting' skills. Even liberals would not have gone to the lengths we saw in this case. If Clinton and the Democrats had tried something like this, we might have had another civil war. I really am waiting for the real conservatives to get their tent back in order.

BigV 04-01-2005 04:28 PM

:lol2::lol2:

That post belongs in my dream thread...

warch 04-01-2005 04:43 PM

As soon as I got to "apologized" I knew it was a joke. There aint no apologies, nothing ever goes wrong.

Clodfobble 04-01-2005 05:15 PM

Wow. I was hooked from beginning to end, Rich. Wishful thinking, like lookout... Very nice. :)

xoxoxoBruce 04-03-2005 12:19 AM

Got me too. I was thinking he saw the polls that 82% thought the feds should not have intervened and figured since the legislstion and Jebs grandstand didn't need him anymore, he'd bail. Silly me. :o


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