The Cellar - Miers humor

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- - Miers humor (http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=9301)

Humorist-blogger Iowahawk gives us the Supreme Court Job Application:

Quote:

<blockquote style="margin-right: 0px;" dir="ltr">JOB 1: CURRENT POSITION EMPLOYER: _____President of the United States, Washington DC____ TITLE: ___Assistant to President/Office Activity Planner________ TYPE OF POSITION: ___ Full Time   ___Part Time _x__ Flex Hours SUPERVISOR'S NAME: ___George W. Bush____________ DATES OF EMPLOYMENT: __Jan 2001____ to ___current_____ REASON FOR LEAVING: ___Seeking
opportunities for personal/professional growth as a lifetime appointee
to judicial body of large Western democracy____
RELEVANT JOB DUTIES
As Assistant to the President of the United States, and as a
female, my current job entails many duties that will help me in a
position at the Supreme Court, such as resolving disputes. For example,
while planning the last Capitol Hill softball outing, I discovered the
Republicans wanted to have barbecue and the Democrats wanted
vegetarian. Thinking quickly, I called Pizzeria Uno and order a variety
of their delicious deep dish pies which were a big hit with everybody.
I think this goes to show that I am a real "people person" with the
feminine touch to get the job done, consensus-wise.

The always-hilarious Defective Yeti offers a simpler version:

http://static.flickr.com/27/49802630_9127842963_o.jpg

This could be in the guilty pleasure thread. I know it's kinda mean, I laugh anyway, and wonder how far from the truth the really is.

"I know what kind of judge she'll be. I know her judicial philosophy." or words to that effect. Don't worry, trust me. Yikes.

I was listening to Sean Hannity yesterday...I finally discovered what station he's on here in St. Louis. Anyway, he was saying yesterday that there should be questions asked/investigations done regarding Miers...something to that effect. Now it's okay to question the president, apparently.

And then there's this newsflash from one of my favorite sitesWhitehouse.org :

PRESIDENT NOMINATES TOKEN VULVA-EQUIPPED JUDICIAL HOBBYIST HARRIET MIERS AS ASSOCIATE CRONY OF THE U.S. SUPREME COURT

Statement by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. I'm pleased to announce that I'm nominating my personal lawyer, former secretary, and favorite step-and-fetch wet nurse – who I never ask why she ain't hitched and she never tells – Harriet Mier as my nominee to the stupid Supreme Court. OK? Are we done? Is this over?

(Sighs.)

What more do you want? Alright. Harriet, or "Dirty Harry" as I call her, is going to be the best darn judge ever and just believe me, because I'm really not in the mood to be questioned about anything. I won re-election didn't I? So why the hell is everyone all up in my mug about stuff that's totally out of my control? Stuff like hurricanes, and the budget, and corruption in the Congressional GOP leadership? I mean, I don't even KNOW those DeLay and Doctor Feelgood dudes who've been rubberstamping my policies for the past five years. And like, Iraq is my fault? As if! And listen, if you can't afford to fill your gas tank, then get another job, lardass! I have to pay for a whole gas-guzzling Presidential motorcade. And by "I", I mean "you". So back the fuck off.

You have to admit, Bush takes good care of the help. ;)