Really Important Question
 

I have a little thought problem that I need to work out.

Today is Thursday.

On Monday I took a salami (not the real deal, but the Oscar Mayer imitation of salami) sandwich to work. We had some other very attractive option for lunch, and so I left it in the fridge (one of the little college dorm room sized fridges) for later consumption.

Tuesday night it was Chinese food night, and so I forsook my poor sandwich for the lure of eggs n' gravy.

Yesterday, I was totally focused on that sandwich ... until we were able to send one of my coworkers to the GOOD pizza place that's so good they don't have to deliver, and I had a couple of slices.

That brings us to today.

Thursday. The fourth day.

The salami sandwich is still in the fridge. Do I eat it in the name of thrift (I have some Scots ancestry) or do I make of it an offering to the mental health gods in the hopes that they will accept this offering and bless me as well as the good people of my County with good mental health?

I would appreciate an answer to this conundrum before 1100 hrs EST, since that's the deadline for ordering lunch.

Thanx.

The Gods say,
"Lay down your meat,
upon a lone loon's head.
A powerful helmet you will have lent,
to a sad man who's head has gone bent.
If the good spirit of old Oscar permits;
the lunch you forget, will
be a cookey nut's thrill"


(Apologies to all for a psuedo-rhymer gone amiss.)

I loved the poem! Better than anything Angus has done!!! Wow!

PS--wolf, pitch the sandwich. You know in your heart that you don't love it and it's best if you just be done with it NOW instead of continuing to lead it on. What are you ordering out?

Well what are your plans for tomorrow?

If you're like me, you have some residual guilt about the expense of buying lunch out that makes you want to at least try to appear that you're economizing by packing lunch from home. If this is the case, I recommend you eat the sandwich, thus guaranteeing you will go at least one day this week without paying for lunch. (I mean, tomorrow's Friday. You might end up treating yourself.)

If you feel no such remorse, then just chuck the sandwich.

EDIT:

Solid advice for any relationship, food or otherwise!!

Bad poetry is fun. Good poetry is hard. I'm happy to write the bad stuff.

Another few lines came to mind as I was stepping in to the shower. I'll spare ya'll though.

Awesome advice. Now where'd I leave that jumbo box of oatmeal creme pies?

In order to avoid remorse you can always use the argument that the meat is bad* or the bread will be horribly soggy.

*: I'm not sure if lunch meat with all those preservatives ever spoils, or is ever good.

Given that the "meat like substance" is an Oscar Mayer product, it's basically shelf stable for several years and probably would have been okay even without refrigeration over this period of time.

Thank you all for your kind advice. Especially the lovely poem. I don't know good poetry from bad. I liked it.

Uncertain as to where lunch is coming from, probably a local pizza place. I'll let you know.

You'd be barmy
To eat that salami
Since several days have passed
You'll end up a fella
Who's got salmonella
And terrible pains round your arse

So do us a favour
Be sure you don't waiver
Just throw out that sausage right now
Give the bread to the ducks
Then spend a few bucks
And treat yourself to some fresh chow

I never thought that spoiled meat would make so many people wax lyrical!!

It sounds like you don't have much of a relationship with this Oscar. You were quick to ditch him when something sexier came along and you sound half-hearted in your message. I think it's time to end it and allow Oscar to find a better place. Plus, you deserve a lunch you can give your whole heart to.

Dr. Phil A. Mignon

I love the Cellar! Such an entertaining thread about a question that many would consider extremely mundane.

So how was your lunch, Wolf?

What does not kill you makes you stronger.

Consume the meat with primal abandon and become one with the beast within.

And, just in case, keep a paper bag handy and pre-choose a "client" to blame it on.

Lunch ended up being quite good. I actually got to enjoy my food for a change. The day didn't go to hell until after 3PM.

Buffalo Chicken Cheese Steak with the Bleu Cheese Dressing on the side for dipping.

I have to take something tomorrow because the storm of the century is approaching Philadelphia and I can't count on the delivery pizza guy making it through. He's not the mailman.

Yeah, isn't this like the 10th or 11th storm of the century?

Well there has been a glut of storms on the market these days. They're really devalued.

Snow day here. The fourteen year-old is home and being lazy. He's so lazy he didn't even do the requisite Snow Day Dance. Kids these days...

...oh, no. Now he's watching GREEN ACRES! oh, man, no....NO!