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I offended my best friend by offering to buy the corned beef this year because I have given up eating conventionally farmed meat and food processed with nitrates, and now he is upset that his food's not good enough for me anymore. What? I said I'd buy it and I'll cook it too! Nobody complained when I cooked up all the side dishes for our Cajun Christmas using nitrate free bacon and organic veggies, in fact they were a big hit! I'm not sure why we celebrate this holiday anyway since no one in either of our families is Irish, but I guess it's just another excuse to drink.
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 Language is a virus from outer space
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