The Cellar - View Single Post

LabRat · 05-10-2009, 09:06 AM

Sorry for the confusion. I was asked to explain to you what I did, but was too brief.

Red is in *no way* at fault here. I am, 100%. Support him, he deserves it, not me. I am the one who broke promises and lied. Please, be mad at me, call me names, then learn from my collosal fuck up.

Like I said in RichLevy's thread, it was fun to hear praise from others besides just my husband. I gave me a high. I ended up taking it too far and had an inappropriate email exhange (including sending explicit pictures) with another dwellar behind my husband's back. He found out about it and asked me to stay out of the cellar and never to talk to him again. I agreed. Eventually I was able to come back here and participate again.

Unfortunately, I couldn't resist the temptation and ended up breaking the promise I made and had another series of emails and pic exchanges (not phone sex) with that same dwellar. So, like an alcoholic who can't trust herself to be able to maintain control, I need to stop going where the temptation is.

I hate myself right now for allowing this to happen a second time. I mean, jesus, really? Instead of communicating with my husband about things that were bothering me so that we could work on them, I went outside my marrage. I can't begin to describe the self-loathing I have right now. The one thing I value above all else is honesty, and here I am, the biggest hypocrite in the universe.

I got my priorities all screwed up, and ended up crushing the one person in my life whom I am supposed to put above all others. Not to mention what kind of message am I sending to my daughter... I am nothing but a stupid whore.

I fucked up my life, hopefully someone can learn from this and not do the same to theirs. I beg everyone's forgiveness, although I deserve none.

05-10-2009, 09:06 AM	#42
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	Sorry for the confusion. I was asked to explain to you what I did, but was too brief. Red is in no way at fault here. I am, 100%. Support him, he deserves it, not me. I am the one who broke promises and lied. Please, be mad at me, call me names, then learn from my collosal fuck up. Like I said in RichLevy's thread, it was fun to hear praise from others besides just my husband. I gave me a high. I ended up taking it too far and had an inappropriate email exhange (including sending explicit pictures) with another dwellar behind my husband's back. He found out about it and asked me to stay out of the cellar and never to talk to him again. I agreed. Eventually I was able to come back here and participate again. Unfortunately, I couldn't resist the temptation and ended up breaking the promise I made and had another series of emails and pic exchanges (not phone sex) with that same dwellar. So, like an alcoholic who can't trust herself to be able to maintain control, I need to stop going where the temptation is. I hate myself right now for allowing this to happen a second time. I mean, jesus, really? Instead of communicating with my husband about things that were bothering me so that we could work on them, I went outside my marrage. I can't begin to describe the self-loathing I have right now. The one thing I value above all else is honesty, and here I am, the biggest hypocrite in the universe. I got my priorities all screwed up, and ended up crushing the one person in my life whom I am supposed to put above all others. Not to mention what kind of message am I sending to my daughter... I am nothing but a stupid whore. I fucked up my life, hopefully someone can learn from this and not do the same to theirs. I beg everyone's forgiveness, although I deserve none. __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.