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Originally Posted by Cloud
There also could be some benefit to going through the whole routine--church service, internment, and the party afterwards.... In that respect, going through all of it for someone he's not close to, could help your son understand and be prepared down the road, when it really matters. Both emotional lessons, and etiquette lessons. There's something to be said for learning and practicing how to act and make small talk in such settings.
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Completely agree. My Mum took us to a couple of funerals when we were younger to teach us exactly that. They were people my parents knew from church, so there was a connection, but not an emotional one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloud
I understand, but I think a book would be extremely poor etiquette, even for kids. A very small child/toddler might be given a toy to play with, but -- no. If I saw that, I would think it would be very disrespectful.
If you think he would need a book or other distraction in order to behave appropriately, then I don't think you should go.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monster
hmm. I didn't mean during the actual service, but maybe you're right. I'm worried he'll mess about during "waiting" times, but perhaps it would look too "unconcerned" to the truly bereaved.
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Funerals are solemn occasions. Thor will definitely pick up on this and I'm sure will behave accordingly.
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Originally Posted by Jaydaan
The actual funeral is tramatic for most of us, kids even more so. All that crying and such might make it even harder for Thor to get over the fear of growing up.
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I disagree. Firstly, the people with the closest connection will be at the front of the church. Any crying will be out of sight of Thor & Mons. And when someone dies after a long fight with cancer the grief is likely to be of the leaking-at-the-eyes variety, surely? Mons just needs to explain that Fred's Dad was ill and in a lot of pain; people are sad because he's gone, but glad he's not in pain any more. IMO
I can't discuss the etiquette etc as obviously I've no experience of the American way of handling things. But from Thor's POV I think to attend would be a useful milestone.