Tired Kids

DucksNuts · 10-20-2007, 07:00 PM

My kids are tired.

For those that dont know, I have 2 and 4 year old boys. I work full time, so we are gone from 7.30am to 5.30-6pm.

We are on property and as I am on my own, there are things that have to be done and due to their ages, they trudge along with me....I mean, they love it...but by the end of the week they are trashed and the weekends, are pretty busy.

The 2 year old sleeps in the afternoon, usually at least 2 hours, sometimes up to 3, but if I let him sleep past 4.30 in the afternoon.....he's up till all hours and buggered the next day.

He wont go down any earlier.

I make the 4yr have *rest* time but he wont sleep on the weekends, he sleeps during the day at daycare periodically.

They both just look tired and I dont know what else to do....any suggestions?

I feel guilty.

monster · 10-20-2007, 07:31 PM

When you say "trudge along with you", where do you go, how do you get there? Are you walking around? Could you use a bike with them in a trailer? What would they do if you didn't have to do chores? how best can you replicate that?

zippyt · 10-21-2007, 12:01 AM

This is the Mrs....Been there, done that. Bless You. 2 ideas...1, a habit of laying down with them and reading a little book before bed helps control YOUR schedule and has many long term benefits. 2, never too early to start THEIR chores. I hope you have family support. It beats not knowing where you'll get your next meal.

DucksNuts · 10-21-2007, 03:19 AM

Monster - most of our farm stuff is done on/in a tractor, quad bike or ute...so they dont walk...but they are out and about and *helping*.

Honestly, I have no clue what they would be doing if we didnt have stuff to do?? Its been that way since they were little.

The boys dont do anything for at least 2 hours in the afternoons. Thats xbox, dvd, books and rest time.

Thanks Mrs Zippy

I hadnt thought of laying down with them. I utilise their down time for folding washing and housework

They do have chores, they feed the cats, dogs, horses and pig of a nite time. Sort the laundry into colours and attempt to clean up after themselves.

My parents are local

Aliantha · 10-21-2007, 07:49 AM

Maybe the three of you need a time out? Just a break from the routine. Don't go anywhere. Just stay home and spend some fun/relaxing time together and get in a few early nights and some good sleep-ins.

Remember you've been sick lately, so even though it probably isn't so noticable, the kids have probably been trying to do little extra things to make you feel better and so on, which could also be contributing to them being more tired than usual.

I'll just add too because no one else has. I hope you're all having plenty of fresh whole foods to boost your energy as much as possible. I know at times when I'm feeling run down I don't go to so much trouble and choose the quick option of takeaways or meals out of packets which of course only perpetuates the problem in the end.

I vote for the time off though. In all seriousness.

ZenGum · 10-21-2007, 12:45 PM

I have no advice to offer about parenting, but I'm wondering, have you ever been to Confest, Ducks?
Victorian, lives on the land, seems fairly progressive minded...
Yeah or nay?
I post it here because I have one suggestion, if you are feeling weary: ask yourself what you are looking forward to. Putting some milestones in your future can help get some feeling of perspective on your daily life.

Sundae · 10-21-2007, 01:05 PM

As a non-parent I'm aware my advice might be wide of the mark, but here goes. Try not to worry - human beings were designed to take far more punishment than we generally receive these days. You believe your boys are tired and assume that's a bad thing. Firstly your feelings about this may be colouring what you see - ask your family what they think about how tired the boys look. Secondly, it isn't such a bad thing for children to be tired as long as they have the opportunity for a decent night's sleep - that is measured in hours, not by the time you wake them up.

Children did hard physical work for much of our species' history. I'll bet your sons are tougher than you think. And I don't expect for one second that they'll ever say they were tired as children in 20 years time!

Don't be too hard on yourself is all I'm saying - they are well loved and it sounds like a pretty healthy lifestyle to me.

Clodfobble · 10-21-2007, 01:35 PM

At the age of four, their body is still quite capable of taking over when sleep is necessary. If the 4-year-old is laying down but not falling asleep during "rest time" on weekends, I would say he's doing just fine. My two cents is this is your guilt over not providing 24-7 fun (which is more than okay, children need to learn a work ethic) rather than something that's actually there to see.

DucksNuts · 10-21-2007, 07:05 PM

Thanks guys, I guess I may be worrying a bit too much.

Ali, these kids live on fruit and fresh vegies, no worries there

They would rather eat a pear and watermelon than McDonalds.

I struggle with red meat, but get the butcher to mince my choice of meat cut so I know they are getting good quality meat.

Plus they love fish and tuna (I hate tuna).

Never been to Confest? had to look it up, Zen. I'm looking forward to 12 days in Perth at Xmas

Thanks SG and Clod, I hadnt thought of those points and yes, I do feel guilty.

My friends are always dashing off to kids gymnastics and baby tennis etc....but they dont work fulltime and arent single parents. So I need to get over it.

Aliantha · 10-21-2007, 07:53 PM

Yep, give yourself a break woman. If you don't have time then that's just the way it is.

Lots of activities don't necessarily give kids anything extra in my opinion. I too have felt guilty because I haven't had the time to take the kids here there and everywhere, but ultimately, the kids know you love them, and that's what really counts. Also, the fact that they'll have different skills is not such a bad thing. Things like gymnastics etc are meant to help small kids become more coordinated etc. I'm sure things like riding horses and other agricultural activities will do the same sorts of things, it's just that the gym kids don't have the same opportunities as yours do. Don't get down on yourself because you think your kids are missing out on something. If you're spending pretty much all your spare time with them, then they're not missing out on anything and when they grow up, I'll bet they tell you so.

WTF is baby tennis???

ZenGum · 10-22-2007, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

WTF is baby tennis???

I hope it isn't what I'm thinking... Whack! Pow! Thwack! Slam! Whoosh.... (miss) ... "fifteen-love".

Aliantha · 10-22-2007, 12:56 AM

Well it's one way to spank the naughty ones I guess...

LabRat · 10-22-2007, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Maybe the three of you need a time out? Just a break from the routine. I vote for the time off though. In all seriousness.

I agree. If possible, take a day off of work, and just have 'mommy and me' time. Maybe you are projecting bit of your tiredness onto them

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

If the 4-year-old is laying down but not falling asleep during "rest time" on weekends, I would say he's doing just fine.

I second that. My almost 5 yo daughter doesn't always take a nap, but she still gets 'downtime' in her room. She may play or read books, but has to be on her bed. No TV BTW during this (not one in her room). If she falls asleep, she must have needed it. If she doesn't she doesn't.

When my daughter was younger, I tried to keep her naptime on the weekends the same as it was during the week at daycare (whenever possible) so that her routine stayed the same. And bedtime was bedtime. When she is tired, I see it in her behavior. Shorter temper, hyper etc.

They also may be gowing through a growth spurt or something. Or fighting a bug so maybe they aren't feeling 100%.

Don't be too hard on yourself, we all doubt our parenting choices now and then. Take some time off with 'em, and you'll see everything is just fine.

10-20-2007, 07:00 PM	#1
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Tired Kids My kids are tired. For those that dont know, I have 2 and 4 year old boys. I work full time, so we are gone from 7.30am to 5.30-6pm. We are on property and as I am on my own, there are things that have to be done and due to their ages, they trudge along with me....I mean, they love it...but by the end of the week they are trashed and the weekends, are pretty busy. The 2 year old sleeps in the afternoon, usually at least 2 hours, sometimes up to 3, but if I let him sleep past 4.30 in the afternoon.....he's up till all hours and buggered the next day. He wont go down any earlier. I make the 4yr have rest time but he wont sleep on the weekends, he sleeps during the day at daycare periodically. They both just look tired and I dont know what else to do....any suggestions? I feel guilty.

10-20-2007, 07:31 PM	#2
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	When you say "trudge along with you", where do you go, how do you get there? Are you walking around? Could you use a bike with them in a trailer? What would they do if you didn't have to do chores? how best can you replicate that? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-21-2007, 12:01 AM	#3
zippyt LONG LIVE KING ZIPPY! per Feetz Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Arkansas Posts: 7,661	This is the Mrs....Been there, done that. Bless You. 2 ideas...1, a habit of laying down with them and reading a little book before bed helps control YOUR schedule and has many long term benefits. 2, never too early to start THEIR chores. I hope you have family support. It beats not knowing where you'll get your next meal. __________________ "Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. " Brother Dave Gardner

10-21-2007, 07:49 AM	#5
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Maybe the three of you need a time out? Just a break from the routine. Don't go anywhere. Just stay home and spend some fun/relaxing time together and get in a few early nights and some good sleep-ins. Remember you've been sick lately, so even though it probably isn't so noticable, the kids have probably been trying to do little extra things to make you feel better and so on, which could also be contributing to them being more tired than usual. I'll just add too because no one else has. I hope you're all having plenty of fresh whole foods to boost your energy as much as possible. I know at times when I'm feeling run down I don't go to so much trouble and choose the quick option of takeaways or meals out of packets which of course only perpetuates the problem in the end. I vote for the time off though. In all seriousness. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

10-21-2007, 01:05 PM	#7
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	As a non-parent I'm aware my advice might be wide of the mark, but here goes. Try not to worry - human beings were designed to take far more punishment than we generally receive these days. You believe your boys are tired and assume that's a bad thing. Firstly your feelings about this may be colouring what you see - ask your family what they think about how tired the boys look. Secondly, it isn't such a bad thing for children to be tired as long as they have the opportunity for a decent night's sleep - that is measured in hours, not by the time you wake them up. Children did hard physical work for much of our species' history. I'll bet your sons are tougher than you think. And I don't expect for one second that they'll ever say they were tired as children in 20 years time! Don't be too hard on yourself is all I'm saying - they are well loved and it sounds like a pretty healthy lifestyle to me. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-21-2007, 03:19 AM	#4
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Monster - most of our farm stuff is done on/in a tractor, quad bike or ute...so they dont walk...but they are out and about and helping. Honestly, I have no clue what they would be doing if we didnt have stuff to do?? Its been that way since they were little. The boys dont do anything for at least 2 hours in the afternoons. Thats xbox, dvd, books and rest time. Thanks Mrs Zippy I hadnt thought of laying down with them. I utilise their down time for folding washing and housework They do have chores, they feed the cats, dogs, horses and pig of a nite time. Sort the laundry into colours and attempt to clean up after themselves. My parents are local

10-21-2007, 12:45 PM	#6
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	I have no advice to offer about parenting, but I'm wondering, have you ever been to Confest, Ducks? Victorian, lives on the land, seems fairly progressive minded... Yeah or nay? I post it here because I have one suggestion, if you are feeling weary: ask yourself what you are looking forward to. Putting some milestones in your future can help get some feeling of perspective on your daily life.

10-21-2007, 01:35 PM	#8
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	At the age of four, their body is still quite capable of taking over when sleep is necessary. If the 4-year-old is laying down but not falling asleep during "rest time" on weekends, I would say he's doing just fine. My two cents is this is your guilt over not providing 24-7 fun (which is more than okay, children need to learn a work ethic) rather than something that's actually there to see.

10-21-2007, 07:05 PM	#9
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Thanks guys, I guess I may be worrying a bit too much. Ali, these kids live on fruit and fresh vegies, no worries there They would rather eat a pear and watermelon than McDonalds. I struggle with red meat, but get the butcher to mince my choice of meat cut so I know they are getting good quality meat. Plus they love fish and tuna (I hate tuna). Never been to Confest? had to look it up, Zen. I'm looking forward to 12 days in Perth at Xmas Thanks SG and Clod, I hadnt thought of those points and yes, I do feel guilty. My friends are always dashing off to kids gymnastics and baby tennis etc....but they dont work fulltime and arent single parents. So I need to get over it.

10-21-2007, 07:53 PM	#10
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Yep, give yourself a break woman. If you don't have time then that's just the way it is. Lots of activities don't necessarily give kids anything extra in my opinion. I too have felt guilty because I haven't had the time to take the kids here there and everywhere, but ultimately, the kids know you love them, and that's what really counts. Also, the fact that they'll have different skills is not such a bad thing. Things like gymnastics etc are meant to help small kids become more coordinated etc. I'm sure things like riding horses and other agricultural activities will do the same sorts of things, it's just that the gym kids don't have the same opportunities as yours do. Don't get down on yourself because you think your kids are missing out on something. If you're spending pretty much all your spare time with them, then they're not missing out on anything and when they grow up, I'll bet they tell you so. WTF is baby tennis??? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

10-22-2007, 12:56 AM	#12
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	Well it's one way to spank the naughty ones I guess... __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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