tales from my misspent youth

[lumberjim]

I have been boring many of you with my tales from GD tour, and I would like to hear your stories, too.


Give it.

[novice]

This is a tough one Jim. I've had about 14 unrelated occupations so there's no shortage of source material but where to start and would anybody care.

1.Sphagnum moss tosser/packer
2.Curtain fabric warehouse assistant storeman
3.Full time hitchhiker/intrepid adventurer
4.Circuit board electroplater
5.Encyclopaedia salesman
6.Department store roving salesman
7.Process worker
8.Mobile door repairs
9.Freight forwarding warehouse storeman
10.Spa pool installer
11.Professional snooker player
12.Rabbit culler
13.Door to door salesman
13.5 Amway
14.Welder
15.Trawler deckhand
16.Gyprock fixer
17.Navy

[xoxoxoBruce]

Misspent? From the summer I was 9 until I married at 19, I went to school or worked, (or both) every day. Through Jr High, High and Tech School. The only exception was 7 days vacation with my parents each year, between 9 and14. That's it, 35 days off in 10 years. I didn't work all day sometimes and other days were 16 or 18 hrs. And my boss can't understand why I'm tired of working.

[novice]

Originally posted by xoxoxoBruce
Misspent? From the summer I was 9 until I married at 19, I went to school or worked, (or both) every day. Through Jr High, High and Tech School. The only exception was 7 days vacation with my parents each year, between 9 and14. That's it, 35 days off in 10 years. I didn't work all day sometimes and other days were 16 or 18 hrs. And my boss can't understand why I'm tired of working.

I would say that sad tale defines mis-spent.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Not sad. Just the way it was. Another lifestyle in a different time and place. Sometimes I kid my brother who is 10 years younger, how easy he had it. His standard reply is "I can't help it if I was born to older, wealthier parents".

[OnyxCougar]

Hmmm....there is so much...

Born with asthma and allergies, I was VERY allergic to most foods, and especially chocolate, dairy, grains and pollens/grasses/weed/danders. I would get up at midnight and gorge myself on chocolates then wheeze all night. There was one point where I was taking 15 different medications throughout the day and the school called the cops on my parents, who had to show all my prescriptions.

Parents Divorced at (my) age 9. Went into therapy because I was "suicidal". I don't understand how they figured that out, I certainly don't recall ever thinking about death at the time.

Moved in with my mom at first, then my Dad, who remarried to a woman with 4 Boys. 3 of them lived with her, so it was Marilyn, Dad, Erick & Randy(13) (twins), David (11), My sister (18) and me (10). Then my sister moved out, and Randy and David proceeded to pick on me. Erick would occasionally step in for me. Throughout the time I was with them, I got hogtied with duct-tape, put in the tub and had the hot water (only) turned on... David became a wrestler in high school and practised on me, would get me down on my back, sit on my chest and poke his finger (hard) into my chest until I had a bruise the size of a saucer... Marilyn tried to have me committed when I was 14 because I was taking up too much of my father's time...

My dad eventually left her and We moved (we moved alot) and it was me and him for a long time. He met and married another Marilyn, and we moved again, twice, and then the whole high-school portion of the Steven Thing(tm) started up. Most of the highlights after that are in the Philosophy forum (under "Seriousness that Changed You" thread). I'm not sure if that's what you were looking for, Jimbo....

[lumberjim]

Originally posted by OnyxCougar
Hmmm....there is so much...



Moved in with my mom at first, then my Dad, who remarried to a woman with 4 Boys. 3 of them lived with her, so it was Marilyn, Dad, Erick & Randy(13) (twins), David (11), My sister (18) and me (10). Then my sister moved out, and Randy and David proceeded to pick on me. Erick would occasionally step in for me. Throughout the time I was with them, I got hogtied with duct-tape, put in the tub and had the hot water (only) turned on... David became a wrestler in high school and practised on me, would get me down on my back, sit on my chest and poke his finger (hard) into my chest until I had a bruise the size of a saucer... Marilyn tried to have me committed when I was 14 because I was taking up too much of my father's time...

My dad eventually left her and We moved (we moved alot) and it was me and him for a long time. He met and married another Marilyn, and we moved again, twice, and then the whole high-school portion of the Steven Thing(tm) started up. Most of the highlights after that are in the Philosophy forum (under "Seriousness that Changed You" thread). I'm not sure if that's what you were looking for, Jimbo....

sounds like you should be writing fairy tales. evil step mom's, and such.....

what i was really looking for was a specific adventure or situation laid out in detail. tell us how you wound up in the tub with the duct tape, for example.....

[elSicomoro]

Hmmm...

Winter 1995: I was 19 at the time, and in college at Southeast Missouri State University. My roommate's brother came down for the weekend. We went to Applebee's that Saturday night and proceeded to drink...a lot. I didn't want his brother driving us home b/c he was drunk...and the campus was about 2 miles from Applebee's. So, I decided to walk. My roommate joined me. We stopped at a gas station on the way back and bought more alcohol...and proceeded to drink that up as we headed back to campus. We got back to campus, and IIRC, my roommate proceeded to roll down Cardiac Hill (a large hill/walkway on campus that is on a 45 degree angle). We got back up to our room and discovered that our friend's parents were also down for the evening. Several of us on the floor were a pretty tight-knit group at the time, so if you came down to spend time with your child, you wound up with 6 or 7 more hanging around. My roommate said his hellos and quickly went to bed. I decided to hang out for a bit.

Melissa's mom (in that mom voice): "Terry, were you guys drinking?"

Syc (looks guilty): "Ummm...yeah."

Melissa's mom (still in mom voice): "Now you weren't driving too, were you?"

Syc: "Oh no! We walked all the way home from Applebee's! I swear!"

Melissa's mom: "Okay then."

Then there was the time we drove 30 miles just to get alcohol, but I'll save that for another post.

[novice]

Ok, this one time I arrived in New York for a sales conference. En route to the Marriott Long Island we asked our driver to make a detour so we could get some beers. He obliged a little too eagerly and cut off an 'A-Team' style van. The van driver pulled alongside pointed a pistol at our guy, swore and took off leaving us all (6) stunned but kinda scared/excited.
We found a bottleshop, piled in for supplies and exited the store to be confronted with the sight of a homeless guy on fire. Naturally he was upset so we knocked him over, rolled him about , gave him a beer then hightailed it out of the neighbourhood.
Next day is a freebie so we hit the tourist traps. First was the world trade towers observation deck. I've never forgotten how the lifts registered 10 floors at a time.
No visit is complete without visiting the Empire State Building.
The queues are long going up and down so being a clever clever bastard I decide to one up my friends and run down the stairs.
Being as i'm from a place where tall is 15 stories I have no comparitive concept of how many steps this involves. So many. many steps.
45 minutes later I arrive at the bottom to find i've been abandoned. There's a bar at the entrance of the building and I NEED to sit down. I tell the bartender i'm an 'Ossie' with an interest in trying some of the local concoctions.
I woke up on a train in Jamaica and, for anybody that's been there, I felt a little conspicuous. I found a cab, jumped in and witnessed my first and last genuine double-take in the rear view mirror.
After three uneventful days of conferencing and we vacated the Marriott and moved to the Madison Hotel on the corner of Madison and 42nd to get a 'handle on the vibe of such a huge city.
And here it was all on the one block, beer in every deli, genuine leopard skin tights clad NY ho's, pimps, drug vendors, genuine Rolex's for twenny fi' dollar, actual steam coming out of sidewalk vents just like in the movies and a busy-ness that never slowed.
I'm pleasantly drunk leaning on a US Post box soaking up the atmosphere. An old guy comes up and offer sexual favours for beer ( I politely decline ) followed soon after by the screeching of car tyres. A huge convertible pulls over , four guys in stetsons leap out and attack a guy in pimp uniform with baseball bats.
Nothing is said and it's all over in seconds. The guys leap back in the car and burn rubber. No-one even blinks, people are physically stepping over the guy to carry on their way. He's not moving.The cops arrive surprisingly fast and immediately call an ambulance. One of them notices me and wanders over.
He asks me what happenned but all I remember clearly is the stetsons. He nod and grunts something about a gang calling themselves "Rednecks". They do it for fun, it's indiscriminate except for the victims being black.
The sun comes up so I head back for a couple of hours sleep before our last day in town. We hold a referendum and it's overwhelmingly decided to go see the Statue of Liberty.
The ferry line is inundated by street performers of a far higher standard than most of us have previously paid to see.
The skyline is awsome from the ferry but the river looks like shit.
We arrive at the base, pay the fee and enter the lobby. I say "where are the lifts?". There are no lifts. A few days ago I descended approximately 2200 steps. Fuggeddaboudid. I go outside and sleep on the grass while my friends make the climb.
Close enough to count I figure.
I arrive back in Australia the next day exhausted with a feeling of surreality about the whole trip. Nearly all my luggage arrived with me. The missing case turned up 3 days later. And yes, I have to agree, Austria does resemble Australia when your tired and overworked.

[elSicomoro]

Jesus Christ...you fucking wound up in Jamaica, Queens? Eeek!

Well, at least you had fun and didn't get hurt.

[novice]

Hey yeah, Queens. Cheers, I'd forgotten the district.
I'm only a medium size guy and far from intimidating so I think people figured I was either plumb crazy or packing. Apart from the pistol encounter no-one even spoke harsh words my way.

[elSicomoro]

How long ago was this?

[novice]

1st thru 7th Juli '91.
I forgot to mention the "distinctive sound" of automatic weapons on July 4th.

[elSicomoro]

Wow...and that was when NYC was still considered really bad. If you liked it then, you'd probably love it now...the city has really cleaned itself up since the mid-90s.

[novice]

Maybe it was rough as guts but aside from the work I spent most of my time wearing rose coloured beer goggles so everything was as good as good can be. The irony is, now, I wouldn't be half as daring in downtown Sydney after dark. Or Melbourne for that matter.