To Be, or Not To Be..?

[Trilby]

Catwoman's thread on "Who are you?" raises this question for me because it seems so likely a follow-up. If no one cares that you are here, and you are not unique or special, well, then who cares anything at all whether you stay or go? Others will take your place and the world doesn't even hiccup.

[Pie]

Originally Posted by Brianna

If no one cares that you are here, and you are not unique or special, well, then who cares anything at all whether you stay or go?

I go on because I've got nothing better to do. When life seems like a net negative, I'll opt out.

- Pie

[glatt]

I didn't really understand Catwoman's thread. So my response doesn't take her thread into account much.

I think that for most people, someone does care whether they are here or not. Also, I think that each person is slightly different, so each person is special. The Earth happens to be teeming with people, so in that respect, individuals are a dime a dozen, but there are still slight differences between them. Each individual is unique.

In the big scheme of things, nobody will notice if an average person dies. It's even barely a blip when a former head of state like Reagan dies. But each individual's family and friends will obviously notice if they go.

Micro versus macro.

[lookout123]

"Clarence, it's a wonderful life."


cheesy movie, or life lesson. we have no way of knowing how our lives have affected other lives that have affected other lives that...

it isn't just a cheesy sentiment, let's internalize it for a minute. we all know that our absence would change the lives of those that immediately surround us on a daily basis, but what about the people you only see occasionaly or even just once? have you ever been in an absolutely miserable place in life and had a brief interaction with someone that helped you turn things around? an event that to that other person isn't even worth remembering, but to you it made your day, week, or month? it helped you out in some immeasurable way.

now, turn it around. maybe, just maybe you have been that helpful person to someone else without knowing it.

i say this from experience. after my ex-wife left me i was (looking back on it now) really effed up, borderline suicidal. i absolutely couldn't accept failure at anything. i kept my normal happy go lucky shell on for everyone, but i was shutting down on the inside and had actually decided on what the easiest way to go would be, not so much for me, but for those i left behind. in the midst of that a female aquaintance asked me out to dinner because she was going through a rough breakup and wanted a night away from it all. i don't know what it was or if anything specific happened, but something clicked that night and i pulled my head out of my ass, and got it screwed on straight again. i only saw that individual a couple other times in passing, and never told her the effect the evening had had upon me, but i can honestly say that i would probably not be here, if she hadn't been down in the dumps and wanted a friend that evening. so somewhere out there a woman is walking around unaware of the fact that she saved a life... and now that years later i have a happy marriage and a son, she has by her actions that night allowed me to interact with countless others. hopefully i've been able to help someone else along the way too.

/////////

edit: maybe it is too melodramatic, but maybe your life isn't about you. maybe you exist to be at a certain point in someone else's life so that they can be at a certain point in someone else's life so that some day they can invent the longer lasting lightbulb or something. even though i often forget it, i have to force myself that the world doesn't revolve around me.

[Trilby]

Originally Posted by glatt

someone does care whether they are here or not.

Those are the people in the will. And they do care, deeply. They want to know when the old geezer is going. I've 2 teenaged children and yet I struggle with whether they would be very much affected if I were no more. I doubt it. I also doubt any "potential" I may or may not have had. I don't think that is worth sticking around for ---to see if it "fruits", so to speak.

[Trilby]

the death bell--somebody's done for.

You know?

[lookout123]

Originally Posted by Brianna

the death bell--somebody's done for.

You know?

[Trilby]

oh, sorry. sylvia plath poetry (not something I'd recommend-) it's like an admission of defeat---and, lookout, I really don't expect YOU to understand an admission of defeat! Ever! You go, Lookout!
the poem just states the inevitable. death comes for all of us...."somebody's done for"...

[dar512]

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas

[Trilby]

or, acquiesce (into that good night). did I spell that right? somebody will pounce if i did not...anyway. somebody's done for means somebody wasnt' expecting it but there you go---no goodnight stuff--all of a suicide.

[Trilby]

the woman is perfected.

[Catwoman]

Originally Posted by lookout123

maybe your life isn't about you. maybe you exist to be at a certain point in someone else's life so that they can be at a certain point in someone else's life

Life is those 'certain points'. There is no 'in-between'. You are on the right lines lookout, you can see the possibility of eclipsing the self.

Brianna you need to move away from perceptions of 'potential'. What is it you think you can become? You can only ever be what you are in this moment, and why is that such a let-down? Why are you resisting reality? It is reality! What is the point in resisting it?

And of course your children will be affected when you go. Think about the love you have towards your own parents. Your children are no different to you. You are using this thought to help define your insecurity. The self feels better when it has a definition, even a negative one. People misunderstand and think the more defined they are (ie by measure of personality, knowledge, acquired love), the more important they must be, when in fact the opposite is true. All that is important is to let go of a contrived sense of self and open up to the truth of who you are.

[Joe Faux]

Too many details regarding our existence have not been revealed to us or we've forgotten through the generations to make even an “educated” guess. We can wonder and dream about a grand creation and majestic existence, but when it comes to brass tax, we just don't know what brought us here, what we are to do, and what lies beyond our physical world.

The trick is to be comfortable within that situation.

However, given the choice, I would prefer “I am” to “he was.”

Argh! That came dangerously close to quoting Neil Diamond.
http://www.neildiamondhomepage.com/l...g.htm#IAmISaid

Now I know my end must be near.

[ladysycamore]

Originally Posted by Joe Faux

However, given the choice, I would prefer “I am” to “he was.”

Excellent sig. line quote.

[wolf]

I care. About myself. Although accolades from others are useful, I'm well-convinced of my personal self-worth (that whole internal vs. external locus of control thing, you know).

If I gave that much of a damn about what other people think about me, I'd spend a fair amount of time drooling in the corner.