Its pouring....

DucksNuts · 02-18-2008, 04:39 AM

Not with rain...although I am wishing.

Doncha hate when it seems another crossroad comes along, just after you settled on the direction to take for the last one?

Im moving house in three weeks and I just know I am going to have to make some decisions in the not too distant future.

To be with the man I want to be with, I am going to need to move.

Move away from my parents.... my Father who is quite ill with liver cancer, my Mother who I adore and cant comprehend seeing several times a week.

Move away from my job.....its a love/hate relationship. Its a good job and great people.

Away from friends, new house, new school (5 yr old).

Move away from the stability and comfort that is my life.

The other party cant move, his kids Mother lives where he is.

The *old* me would just go ...."fuck it, lives too short".

This me is chicken shit.

regular.joe · 02-18-2008, 04:47 AM

Damn Duck...so what's the problem?

xoxoxoBruce · 02-18-2008, 04:56 AM

How far away?

richlevy · 02-18-2008, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

Away from friends, new house, new school (5 yr old).

Does this mean you have a 5-year-old child or that you've been there 5 years? If the latter, are you a student or staff at the school?

shina · 02-18-2008, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

How far away?

Is it a huge distance. I moved across the country for work. Left family, friends and boyfriend behind. He was going to move to the NW but then changed his mind and stayed in FL.

I must say that although the move was hard, it ended up being the right decision for me. I have constant contact with my family, they have visited me here and I have gone home.

You and your child will be good wherever you end up. Go with your gut instinct. It's usually right.

DucksNuts · 02-19-2008, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruce

How far away?

5 hours drive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by richlevy

Does this mean you have a 5-year-old child or that you've been there 5 years? If the latter, are you a student or staff at the school?

5 year old just started school.

Im just being a wuss and looking for reasons not to uproot my life.

Aliantha · 02-19-2008, 04:39 PM

So who is this fella??? Details?

xoxoxoBruce · 02-19-2008, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

5 hours drive.

So it would be possible to to weekends for a while... rough but doable.

Quote:

Im just being a wuss and looking for reasons not to uproot my life.

You have some good ones, at least good enough to be cautious.

monster · 02-19-2008, 11:48 PM

Nuts, It sounds like you're thinking forwards -which is great- but the whole point of that exercise is to make it easier further down the line when it's a real question, not to stress you out more now....

Shawnee123 · 02-20-2008, 07:58 AM

Tough thing, Ducks. I am glad to hear it's *only* a five hour drive. Though I know it will be much harder to see your family, I was worried you were talking about airplane ride distance, which would really suck. I would have a hard time leaving my 'rents, too. I see them almost every week, as well as seeing my brothers and nieces and nephews.

You can make it work if it's what you really want. You always have a support system here.

Elspode · 02-21-2008, 03:12 PM

I think that, since this is basically about being with a mate, I'd have to consider whether or not the potential partner is worth the risks of uprooting my entire life. I'd have to be entirely certain that he was was very low risk and very high reward.

You love your family, you love your job (or so it seems for the most part)...is your love for the guy equal to or greater than the sum of these other known quantities?

Best of luck in this, Ducks. At least there's love all around.

DucksNuts · 02-21-2008, 07:45 PM

I get what youre saying 'spode...but how will I know if he is worth it, if I dont take the chance?

We all know the long distance thing wont work for long, the natural progression of the relationship would mean that one of us would have to make the move...whether it be soon...or in 12 months time.

At the moment, one of us does the commute every 2nd or 3rd weekend.

Yeah Shawnee, its mainly my parents that are holding me.

If I only had to give up my job, and could keep the other stuff....no biggie.

It would even be fine if I only had to give up seeing my parents whenever I wanted too....I would do it....but its *all* the stuff combined make it tough.

Meh, I am just gonna pretend the issue doesnt exist

Elspode · 02-21-2008, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

I get what youre saying 'spode...but how will I know if he is worth it, if I dont take the chance?

Just make sure you've made a thorough evaluation of the big picture before jumping in with both feet. Hey, my oldest kid just announced tonight that he and his g/f are now engaged to marry in March of 2009. This on the heels of my youngest telling us last night that he had impregnated a girl who is not his g/f who is living with him (in our house), and that said expectant girl wants him to take the child after it is born.

All this to say that life is full of risks and rewards. I'm sure you'll make a good decision.

classicman · 02-27-2008, 12:20 PM

Wow - Granpa Spode - inda has a nice ring to it... Congrats, I think!

02-18-2008, 04:39 AM	#1
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Its pouring.... Not with rain...although I am wishing. Doncha hate when it seems another crossroad comes along, just after you settled on the direction to take for the last one? Im moving house in three weeks and I just know I am going to have to make some decisions in the not too distant future. To be with the man I want to be with, I am going to need to move. Move away from my parents.... my Father who is quite ill with liver cancer, my Mother who I adore and cant comprehend seeing several times a week. Move away from my job.....its a love/hate relationship. Its a good job and great people. Away from friends, new house, new school (5 yr old). Move away from the stability and comfort that is my life. The other party cant move, his kids Mother lives where he is. The old me would just go ...."fuck it, lives too short". This me is chicken shit.

02-18-2008, 04:47 AM	#2
regular.joe Старый сержант Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: NC, dreaming of large Russian women. Posts: 1,464	Damn Duck...so what's the problem? __________________ Birth, wealth, and position are valueless during wartime. Man is only judged by his character --Soldier's Testament. Death, like birth, is a secret of Nature. - Marcus Aurelius.

02-18-2008, 04:56 AM	#3
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	How far away? __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

02-19-2008, 04:39 PM	#7
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	So who is this fella??? Details? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

02-19-2008, 11:48 PM	#9
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Nuts, It sounds like you're thinking forwards -which is great- but the whole point of that exercise is to make it easier further down the line when it's a real question, not to stress you out more now.... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-20-2008, 07:58 AM	#10
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Tough thing, Ducks. I am glad to hear it's only a five hour drive. Though I know it will be much harder to see your family, I was worried you were talking about airplane ride distance, which would really suck. I would have a hard time leaving my 'rents, too. I see them almost every week, as well as seeing my brothers and nieces and nephews. You can make it work if it's what you really want. You always have a support system here.

02-21-2008, 03:12 PM	#11
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	I think that, since this is basically about being with a mate, I'd have to consider whether or not the potential partner is worth the risks of uprooting my entire life. I'd have to be entirely certain that he was was very low risk and very high reward. You love your family, you love your job (or so it seems for the most part)...is your love for the guy equal to or greater than the sum of these other known quantities? Best of luck in this, Ducks. At least there's love all around. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

02-21-2008, 07:45 PM	#12
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	I get what youre saying 'spode...but how will I know if he is worth it, if I dont take the chance? We all know the long distance thing wont work for long, the natural progression of the relationship would mean that one of us would have to make the move...whether it be soon...or in 12 months time. At the moment, one of us does the commute every 2nd or 3rd weekend. Yeah Shawnee, its mainly my parents that are holding me. If I only had to give up my job, and could keep the other stuff....no biggie. It would even be fine if I only had to give up seeing my parents whenever I wanted too....I would do it....but its all the stuff combined make it tough. Meh, I am just gonna pretend the issue doesnt exist

02-27-2008, 12:20 PM	#14
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Wow - Granpa Spode - inda has a nice ring to it... Congrats, I think! __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

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