Knocked Up

freshnesschronic · 06-30-2007, 01:26 AM

I just saw the movie Knocked Up in theaters, (yeah I know 4 weeks late) but it is already in the top 5 movies of my all time favorite list.

Such a down to earth movie about having an illegitimate child and the choices the new parents face. A lot of relationship issues that I could relate to (snicker snicker dwellars right?) and overall an awesome movie about a nobody pothead and a girl trying to advance herself in her work having a one nite stand that turns into the rest of their lives.

But the reason I posted this was because as great a movie it is, it really makes me scared to be a parent. At 19 and a half years old I am enormously scared of rearing a child. I question if I could even be a good father; no joke, I seriously question my ability in fatherhood.

I am down right scared of parenting.

How did you parents overcome it? When will I?

P.S. Anybody ever been "knocked up" or know somebody who has and don't mind sharing the story?

DanaC · 06-30-2007, 06:23 AM

I never had kids, but at a guess, I'd say if you weren't at least a little bit scared of being a parent, you probably aren't taking it seriously enough:P

Fresh, you are still very young (I don't mean that in a patronising way) and judging by some of your posts, you seem to be still figuring out some of the fundamentals about yourself and who/what you are and want to be. Not that we ever stop trying to figure that stuff out, but late teens and early twenties are, for a lot of people, the most crucial periods of self assessment and development.

I think a lot of the things that seem frightening when you are at that stage, and haven't yet built your stable base, seem much less frightening when you are a little more sure of yourself and where you are going.

piercehawkeye45 · 06-30-2007, 07:13 AM

I heard this from someone who just had a child...."when you have a child, you will grow up very fast".

I don't know if it is that you can not handle the responsibility, just that you don't want too or you think that you are not ready for. If you were forced in that situation, you may be surprised of how fast you can grow up and how mature you can be about it.

But let’s try to avoid it altogether........wear a condom.

skysidhe · 06-30-2007, 09:12 AM

It was a sweet movie. Less funny and more serious than I expected but I liked it alot!

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

But the reason I posted this was because as great a movie it is, it really makes me scared to be a parent. At 19 and a half years old I am enormously scared of rearing a child. I question if I could even be a good father; no joke, I seriously question my ability in fatherhood.

I am down right scared of parenting.

How did you parents overcome it? When will I?

P.S. Anybody ever been "knocked up" or know somebody who has and don't mind sharing the story?

I think that anyone can be a responsible parent at almost any age if you WANT to but if you are feeling like 19 is too young then follow your heart. Many people are having children late these days. I chose to wait until my very late twenties.One thing about having kids earlier is you still have some energy of youth left over.:p

It's good to question ones limits but don't worry too much. Once you hold that tiny being in your arms love conquers all fear.

Clodfobble · 06-30-2007, 11:16 AM

It's good to be afraid, fresh. At 19, you should be afraid. The trick is to translate your fear into appropriate actions: don't get anyone pregnant and you won't have to worry about it until you're ready.

As to when that will be, no one knows. I know a lot of men who thought they didn't want kids at all, but agreed because it was important to their wife, and then it turned out that they were really fascinated with their kids, and loved being a father more than anything in the world.

But I'm not kidding about the safe sex, dude. You don't want to see what custody and child support laws are like in this country for men. Don't ever take the girl's word for it that she's on something.

SteveDallas · 06-30-2007, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

At 19 and a half years old I am enormously scared of rearing a child. I question if I could even be a good father; no joke, I seriously question my ability in fatherhood.

Good. This shows a great deal of common sense. If you weren't doubtful it would be a very bad sign.

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

I am down right scared of parenting.

How did you parents overcome it? When will I?

If you mean "scared" as in scared you'll scar the baby for life, scared you'll not do everything perfectly, scared you'll run into a situation you didn't anticipate or can't figure out, well, you learn to live with it.

If you mean "scared" as in scared as in scared you'll drop the baby, scared you'll be the diaper on backwards, scared you'll feed her the wrong thing, it's just practice.

If you have any friends or relatives with small children, start interacting with them. You'll learn stuff.

richlevy · 06-30-2007, 12:08 PM

This movie was made by the same crew that made "The 40 Year Old Virgin'. I think I made the point in another post that for all of the supposed criticism from some conservative groups about the language and sexual content in the plot, 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' was really almost a classic morality play about consequences. You had a virgin dating a single mom and the viewer could see the contrast in their lives.

'Knocked Up' sounds like the same.

BTW Fresh, while I agree that conceiving a child is a lot easier than raising one, and that there are a small minority of people who should not be parents, being a parent is not as hard as you think once you are ready for it. This is why marriage is a great invention. When the time comes, everything does fall into place. A lot of parenting is instinct, and a few hundred thousands of years of evolution builds a nice foundation.

freshnesschronic · 07-01-2007, 11:16 AM

Thanks dwellars.

Well we'll see what happens; about FUTURE parenting. I'm sorry I got everybody scared like I was gonna produce a bastard child in the next waining moments, but I'm not so it's all good.

07-02-2007, 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

I just saw the movie Knocked Up in theaters, (yeah I know 4 weeks late) but it is already in the top 5 movies of my all time favorite list.

Such a down to earth movie about having an illegitimate child and the choices the new parents face. A lot of relationship issues that I could relate to (snicker snicker dwellars right?) and overall an awesome movie about a nobody pothead and a girl trying to advance herself in her work having a one nite stand that turns into the rest of their lives.

But the reason I posted this was because as great a movie it is, it really makes me scared to be a parent. At 19 and a half years old I am enormously scared of rearing a child. I question if I could even be a good father; no joke, I seriously question my ability in fatherhood.

I am down right scared of parenting.

How did you parents overcome it? When will I?

P.S. Anybody ever been "knocked up" or know somebody who has and don't mind sharing the story?

Not "knocked-up" but was with my wife for 13 years with both of us not wanting kids. One day she comes home wanting one.
I was pissed and terrified.
Six-months of therapy later I was "thinking about it". Later I decided to... just one.
Being scared means you know what it entails and you are smart about it.

breakingnews · 07-02-2007, 03:09 AM

More than a few times I've heard, "you're not ready to be a parent until you are one." Seems most people get it together very quickly when the prospect of having a child arises.

About two years ago, my best friend knocked up his girlfriend less than a month after they met. She had already had an abortion, so she wanted to go ahead with this child, despite his objections. It was a disastrous 9 months, at one point involving a lawyer and some hostile remarks from both sides. Anyway, they got it together and decided to raise the baby together. Then, a month ago, he revealed to the world that his gf is five months' preggo with no. 2. They had a shotgun wedding two weeks ago.

So, two years to go from 24-year-old rockstar party animal to father of two.

Kids: Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

jester · 07-02-2007, 10:40 AM

hmm, hate to say - but that be me - i was 19 - i was 3 months and told my whole family on my 19th birthday. it was tuff to say the least. i was already starting to show and it was getting harder to hide. i grew up real quick and took on a whole new responsibility.

yesman065 · 07-11-2007, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshnesschronic

Anybody ever been "knocked up" or know somebody who has and don't mind sharing the story?

Well my ex-wife (I can finally say that) and I were in our early 20's when I was told she "accidentally" got pregnant. Failed birth control I think was the reason given. Blah, blah, blah - 4 years pass ending with 1 hurried marriage and 3 kids (all by apparent accidents.)

*note* I've written more details many time only to delete them as they seem to be an attack upon her from which she cannot defend herself and no matter how much I detest her for what she has done to our families - she is still my children's mother and I MUST try to remain civil.

yesman065 · 07-11-2007, 08:16 PM

Oh and as a young port smokin gratefully deadicated hippie - once you have kids and the responsibility that goes along with them, you grow up real quick!

smurfalicious · 07-12-2007, 07:47 AM

Been there, done that. Didn't want to have kids for fear I lacked the patience and general capability. My daughter was born in June of 1999. I was 22 then, and I endured pregnancy and I continue to endure parenthood alone and without financial assistance from "dad". The hardest part about my parenting experience has been not having the other person around to lean on, for those times when I just need to walk away and cry out my frustrations for a minute.

Though I sometimes question it - daily, like when I have to remind her for the umpteenth though she has been brushing her teeth for 6 years she still needs to do it again tonight before bed - she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She forced me to grow up and find my way when I had been so lost for so long. She taught me patience - though I'm no model of it, I have a lot more than I used to.

I wake up every day fearing I'm fucking her up by something I did, said, didn't do or say, a temper lost, patience lacking. I just hope she forgives me for all the mistakes I make because I really don't know what the fvck I'm doing.

And if you're NOT scared about being a parent, then you shouldn't be one.

Aliantha · 07-12-2007, 09:54 PM

You sound like a parent to me smurf.

06-30-2007, 01:26 AM	#1
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	Knocked Up I just saw the movie Knocked Up in theaters, (yeah I know 4 weeks late) but it is already in the top 5 movies of my all time favorite list. Such a down to earth movie about having an illegitimate child and the choices the new parents face. A lot of relationship issues that I could relate to (snicker snicker dwellars right?) and overall an awesome movie about a nobody pothead and a girl trying to advance herself in her work having a one nite stand that turns into the rest of their lives. But the reason I posted this was because as great a movie it is, it really makes me scared to be a parent. At 19 and a half years old I am enormously scared of rearing a child. I question if I could even be a good father; no joke, I seriously question my ability in fatherhood. I am down right scared of parenting. How did you parents overcome it? When will I? P.S. Anybody ever been "knocked up" or know somebody who has and don't mind sharing the story? Last edited by freshnesschronic; 06-30-2007 at 01:47 AM.

06-30-2007, 12:08 PM	#7
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	This movie was made by the same crew that made "The 40 Year Old Virgin'. I think I made the point in another post that for all of the supposed criticism from some conservative groups about the language and sexual content in the plot, 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' was really almost a classic morality play about consequences. You had a virgin dating a single mom and the viewer could see the contrast in their lives. 'Knocked Up' sounds like the same. BTW Fresh, while I agree that conceiving a child is a lot easier than raising one, and that there are a small minority of people who should not be parents, being a parent is not as hard as you think once you are ready for it. This is why marriage is a great invention. When the time comes, everything does fall into place. A lot of parenting is instinct, and a few hundred thousands of years of evolution builds a nice foundation. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

07-02-2007, 03:09 AM	#10
breakingnews Q_Q Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: somewhere in between Posts: 995	More than a few times I've heard, "you're not ready to be a parent until you are one." Seems most people get it together very quickly when the prospect of having a child arises. About two years ago, my best friend knocked up his girlfriend less than a month after they met. She had already had an abortion, so she wanted to go ahead with this child, despite his objections. It was a disastrous 9 months, at one point involving a lawyer and some hostile remarks from both sides. Anyway, they got it together and decided to raise the baby together. Then, a month ago, he revealed to the world that his gf is five months' preggo with no. 2. They had a shotgun wedding two weeks ago. So, two years to go from 24-year-old rockstar party animal to father of two. Kids: Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. __________________ Gone crazy, be back never.

07-12-2007, 07:47 AM	#14
smurfalicious Tool. Not the band - you are one. Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 501 Northlake Blvd., North Palm Beach FL Posts: 329	Been there, done that. Didn't want to have kids for fear I lacked the patience and general capability. My daughter was born in June of 1999. I was 22 then, and I endured pregnancy and I continue to endure parenthood alone and without financial assistance from "dad". The hardest part about my parenting experience has been not having the other person around to lean on, for those times when I just need to walk away and cry out my frustrations for a minute. Though I sometimes question it - daily, like when I have to remind her for the umpteenth though she has been brushing her teeth for 6 years she still needs to do it again tonight before bed - she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She forced me to grow up and find my way when I had been so lost for so long. She taught me patience - though I'm no model of it, I have a lot more than I used to. I wake up every day fearing I'm fucking her up by something I did, said, didn't do or say, a temper lost, patience lacking. I just hope she forgives me for all the mistakes I make because I really don't know what the fvck I'm doing. And if you're NOT scared about being a parent, then you shouldn't be one. __________________

07-12-2007, 09:54 PM	#15
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	You sound like a parent to me smurf. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

06-30-2007, 06:23 AM	#2
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I never had kids, but at a guess, I'd say if you weren't at least a little bit scared of being a parent, you probably aren't taking it seriously enough:P Fresh, you are still very young (I don't mean that in a patronising way) and judging by some of your posts, you seem to be still figuring out some of the fundamentals about yourself and who/what you are and want to be. Not that we ever stop trying to figure that stuff out, but late teens and early twenties are, for a lot of people, the most crucial periods of self assessment and development. I think a lot of the things that seem frightening when you are at that stage, and haven't yet built your stable base, seem much less frightening when you are a little more sure of yourself and where you are going.

06-30-2007, 07:13 AM	#3
piercehawkeye45 Franklin Pierce Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,695	I heard this from someone who just had a child...."when you have a child, you will grow up very fast". I don't know if it is that you can not handle the responsibility, just that you don't want too or you think that you are not ready for. If you were forced in that situation, you may be surprised of how fast you can grow up and how mature you can be about it. But let’s try to avoid it altogether........wear a condom.

06-30-2007, 11:16 AM	#5
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	It's good to be afraid, fresh. At 19, you should be afraid. The trick is to translate your fear into appropriate actions: don't get anyone pregnant and you won't have to worry about it until you're ready. As to when that will be, no one knows. I know a lot of men who thought they didn't want kids at all, but agreed because it was important to their wife, and then it turned out that they were really fascinated with their kids, and loved being a father more than anything in the world. But I'm not kidding about the safe sex, dude. You don't want to see what custody and child support laws are like in this country for men. Don't ever take the girl's word for it that she's on something.

07-01-2007, 11:16 AM	#8
freshnesschronic Professor Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,555	Thanks dwellars. Well we'll see what happens; about FUTURE parenting. I'm sorry I got everybody scared like I was gonna produce a bastard child in the next waining moments, but I'm not so it's all good.

07-02-2007, 10:40 AM	#11
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	hmm, hate to say - but that be me - i was 19 - i was 3 months and told my whole family on my 19th birthday. it was tuff to say the least. i was already starting to show and it was getting harder to hide. i grew up real quick and took on a whole new responsibility.

07-11-2007, 08:16 PM	#13
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Oh and as a young port smokin gratefully deadicated hippie - once you have kids and the responsibility that goes along with them, you grow up real quick!

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