Dreaming...and sharing the details

observant_one · 08-09-2006, 12:37 PM

Could a dream be more than just a dream?

If your partner is calling upon the name of another in this dream could/should that be reason for concern?

I'm fully aware that one is incapable of controlling their dreams, yet I'm still pissed as hell.

This isn't the first time he's called out for this woman, should I ask him about her?

Things have changed in our relationship since the beginning of summer, the sex has been better than ever before, but our emotional relationship has been suffering.

Any suggestions or thoughts?

~Thanks

Trilby · 08-09-2006, 01:04 PM

Weeeell--I once called my second husband by my first husband's name but I was awake and vertical at the time.

This is a tricky one. How can we be held responsible for our subconcious (or, even dreaming) mind?

glatt · 08-09-2006, 01:10 PM

Dreams can mean anything. Maybe you are dreaming this because it's true and some part of your mind is picking up on it. Then again, maybe you are dreaming this because something in your life makes you feel powerless, and this dream is a manifestation of that feeling. Maybe the dream is just a dream.

I think you should talk to this guy. Talk to him about your emotional distance. Talk to him about the great sex. Tell him about your dream, and tell him you were wondering about it. Just talk to the guy. Tell him how you feel, and ask him how he feels. You will get more answers than from a message board.

How long have you two been partners? What does "partners" mean, anyway?

Clodfobble · 08-09-2006, 01:22 PM

Hang on--you dreamed that he was calling out for another woman? Or he was dreaming, and you heard him call out this other woman's name in his sleep?

glatt · 08-09-2006, 01:35 PM

Good question. I just went back and re-read it. Could be either way, but I probably misread it.

Clodfobble · 08-09-2006, 04:18 PM

Either way, your advice was good.

08-09-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by observant_one

Could a dream be more than just a dream?

If your partner is calling upon the name of another in this dream could/should that be reason for concern?

I'm fully aware that one is incapable of controlling their dreams, yet I'm still pissed as hell.

This isn't the first time he's called out for this woman, should I ask him about her?

Things have changed in our relationship since the beginning of summer, the sex has been better than ever before, but our emotional relationship has been suffering.

Any suggestions or thoughts?

~Thanks

Jealousy is a dangerous thing... based in mistrust. There is my thought.
It is a dream...

observant_one · 08-09-2006, 05:15 PM

He was sleeping. I was coming to bed. He called out for this woman to come to bed. Through out the rest of the night he continued to call for her...4 more times in about 5 hours.

To answer the partner question; He is my husband; we have been married for 10years and dated 5years before that. I used the wording "partner" so I wouldn’t exclude anyone.

Rationally I cannot be upset with him about this. Yet there is still that little voice inside saying, “Yeah, but what if?” I’ll follow the wonderful advice of Glatt and simply talk without accusing him of anything. It's probably nothing.

9th Engineer · 08-09-2006, 07:54 PM

You don't have to be overly pc here, if he's your husband then you won't make anyone feel bad by saying so. You say it's not the first time this has happened, do you know who the woman might be? If he's been stressed out at work (could account for the emotional distance) she might be someone he works closely with and depends on for important stuff. Just saying there are plenty of possibilities besides those that might spring quickly to mind.

MsSparkie · 08-09-2006, 08:15 PM

The alcoholic Borderline Personalty Disorder ex hubby wanted to have lucid dreams. He would set the alarm for 2:30am and hope to be able to become semi-aroused in a dream state (not sexually) and be able to control his dreams and do "anything at all". It was very important to him and he would disturb my sleep. Idiot.

Elspode · 08-09-2006, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsSparkie

The alcoholic Borderline Personalty Disorder ex hubby wanted to have lucid dreams.

Wouldn't he have been better off by trying to have lucid awake periods first?

MsSparkie · 08-10-2006, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Wouldn't he have been better off by trying to have lucid awake periods first?

I tried to make that happen to no avail. Neither did the addiction and mental health institute have any luck with him. ALL of his things are still here, in my garage....his computers, tools, books, etc. even his car. He only has clothes.
I divorced him 3 years ago with a permanent restraining order and he never took the rest of his stuff. So he must be incapacitated still, alcoholic wise or just freaky wise.

Ducknuts, I never believed his lucid dream stuff.....but you say you can do it.
Is it just the short period when you are waking up???

Stormieweather · 08-10-2006, 09:21 AM

I've had a few, rare lucid dreams. The best one was when I could fly. I was aware that I was dreaming and that I couldn't normally 'fly', but was delighted at the dream and experimented with my capablilities. At one point, a storm was bearing down on me, so I changed direction and sped up to avoid it. I was able to swoop down, fly into crevices and tunnels, stop when I wanted and adjust my elevation. I remember thinking how different everything looked from up there and following a road along when it suddenly occured to me that since i could fly, I didn't have to take the long route...I could zoom straight across everything...to hell with the road! Very cool.

Stormie

DucksNuts · 08-10-2006, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsSparkie

Ducknuts, I never believed his lucid dream stuff.....but you say you can do it.
Is it just the short period when you are waking up???

Sparkie, I can lucid dream anytime during the nite, but have been doing it for years. I even wake up, think about the dream, decide where I want it to lead, go back to sleep and then continue on.

All that said, I'm not the best sleeper (without some kind of aid) so never fall into a totally deep deep sleep.

08-09-2006, 08:21 PM

Separate bedroom for that guy.

08-09-2006, 12:37 PM	#1
observant_one Person Who Has Posted Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 2	Dreaming...and sharing the details Could a dream be more than just a dream? If your partner is calling upon the name of another in this dream could/should that be reason for concern? I'm fully aware that one is incapable of controlling their dreams, yet I'm still pissed as hell. This isn't the first time he's called out for this woman, should I ask him about her? Things have changed in our relationship since the beginning of summer, the sex has been better than ever before, but our emotional relationship has been suffering. Any suggestions or thoughts? ~Thanks

08-09-2006, 01:04 PM	#2
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Weeeell--I once called my second husband by my first husband's name but I was awake and vertical at the time. This is a tricky one. How can we be held responsible for our subconcious (or, even dreaming) mind? __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

08-09-2006, 07:54 PM	#9
9th Engineer Bioengineer and aspiring lawer Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 872	You don't have to be overly pc here, if he's your husband then you won't make anyone feel bad by saying so. You say it's not the first time this has happened, do you know who the woman might be? If he's been stressed out at work (could account for the emotional distance) she might be someone he works closely with and depends on for important stuff. Just saying there are plenty of possibilities besides those that might spring quickly to mind. __________________ The most valuable renewable resource is stupidity.

08-09-2006, 08:15 PM	#10
MsSparkie Curious Sagittarius Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 302	The alcoholic Borderline Personalty Disorder ex hubby wanted to have lucid dreams. He would set the alarm for 2:30am and hope to be able to become semi-aroused in a dream state (not sexually) and be able to control his dreams and do "anything at all". It was very important to him and he would disturb my sleep. Idiot. __________________ ~There is a forest in an acorn......

08-10-2006, 09:21 AM	#13
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	I've had a few, rare lucid dreams. The best one was when I could fly. I was aware that I was dreaming and that I couldn't normally 'fly', but was delighted at the dream and experimented with my capablilities. At one point, a storm was bearing down on me, so I changed direction and sped up to avoid it. I was able to swoop down, fly into crevices and tunnels, stop when I wanted and adjust my elevation. I remember thinking how different everything looked from up there and following a road along when it suddenly occured to me that since i could fly, I didn't have to take the long route...I could zoom straight across everything...to hell with the road! Very cool. Stormie __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

08-09-2006, 01:10 PM	#3
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Dreams can mean anything. Maybe you are dreaming this because it's true and some part of your mind is picking up on it. Then again, maybe you are dreaming this because something in your life makes you feel powerless, and this dream is a manifestation of that feeling. Maybe the dream is just a dream. I think you should talk to this guy. Talk to him about your emotional distance. Talk to him about the great sex. Tell him about your dream, and tell him you were wondering about it. Just talk to the guy. Tell him how you feel, and ask him how he feels. You will get more answers than from a message board. How long have you two been partners? What does "partners" mean, anyway?

08-09-2006, 01:22 PM	#4
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Hang on--you dreamed that he was calling out for another woman? Or he was dreaming, and you heard him call out this other woman's name in his sleep?

08-09-2006, 01:35 PM	#5
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	Good question. I just went back and re-read it. Could be either way, but I probably misread it.

08-09-2006, 04:18 PM	#6
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Either way, your advice was good.

08-09-2006, 05:15 PM	#8
observant_one Person Who Has Posted Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Northern Virginia Posts: 2	He was sleeping. I was coming to bed. He called out for this woman to come to bed. Through out the rest of the night he continued to call for her...4 more times in about 5 hours. To answer the partner question; He is my husband; we have been married for 10years and dated 5years before that. I used the wording "partner" so I wouldn’t exclude anyone. Rationally I cannot be upset with him about this. Yet there is still that little voice inside saying, “Yeah, but what if?” I’ll follow the wonderful advice of Glatt and simply talk without accusing him of anything. It's probably nothing.

08-09-2006, 08:21 PM	#15
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	Separate bedroom for that guy.

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