Misfortune Cookies

monster · 02-09-2012, 08:20 PM

They ought to exist.

it is too late for happiness

Your unlucky numbers are any numbers ending in 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, all multiple of 2

Someone close to you will die before you have a chance to ask them

You have heart of fruitfly

Winning lottery number is W

Good Futures are all behind you

Happy endings out of stock

I know you can do better

(^see, that's probably my best one)

Clodfobble · 02-09-2012, 08:26 PM

They DO exist!

BigV · 02-09-2012, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

They DO exist!

Yes, yes, they do. And they're sold in 5 pound bags. Their store is about 15 minutes from my house.

Tsue Chong Fortune Cookie & Noodle Factory

Spexxvet · 02-10-2012, 08:16 AM

You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny

Cook who make cream sauce is masturbator

employees don't wash hands after using potty

You suck

My dog was named Mein. He was Chow

monster · 02-09-2012, 08:32 PM

Ha! I didn't even think to search, I was just getting slightly irritated by the latest apparent facebook fad of sharing your fortune...... Ann Arborites eat way too much Chinese food methinks.

I still think we can do better.

"you will die alone and poorly dressed" .....bring it! If I died well dressed it would be because I'd been a veg for long enough that nursing home volunteers were choosing my outfits......

monster · 02-09-2012, 08:35 PM

your posterior does not look big, it looks hippopotamus.

erectile disfunction is foretold for you

your enema will be strong and numerous

Undertoad · 02-09-2012, 08:36 PM

monster · 02-09-2012, 08:37 PM

your nude pictures await your discovery on the internet

Aliantha · 02-09-2012, 08:37 PM

This is your last fortune cookie ever!

monster · 02-09-2012, 08:38 PM

we saw you make slitty eye sign behind waiter back

ZenGum · 02-09-2012, 08:46 PM

You so stupid, you think cookie know better than you.
You right.

monster · 02-09-2012, 08:49 PM

you just ate that cookie, didn't you?

Pete Zicato · 02-09-2012, 09:23 PM

"You will die like a dog for no good reason."

Not mine, but Hemingway's. But it seems appropriate here.

monster · 02-09-2012, 09:32 PM

Your gender will be defined for you

Your gender role is pre-determined

Your egg roll is pre-despermined

Sundae · 02-10-2012, 01:40 PM

The thing your mother warned you about will happen.
Your worries are right - your genitals are mis-shapen.
The one you depend on the most will abandon you.
You are right to fear the stairs.

02-09-2012, 08:20 PM	#1
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Misfortune Cookies They ought to exist. it is too late for happiness Your unlucky numbers are any numbers ending in 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, all multiple of 2 Someone close to you will die before you have a chance to ask them You have heart of fruitfly Winning lottery number is W Good Futures are all behind you Happy endings out of stock I know you can do better (^see, that's probably my best one) __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2012, 08:26 PM	#2
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	They DO exist! __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

02-10-2012, 08:16 AM	#4
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny Cook who make cream sauce is masturbator employees don't wash hands after using potty You suck My dog was named Mein. He was Chow __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

02-09-2012, 08:32 PM	#5
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Ha! I didn't even think to search, I was just getting slightly irritated by the latest apparent facebook fad of sharing your fortune...... Ann Arborites eat way too much Chinese food methinks. I still think we can do better. "you will die alone and poorly dressed" .....bring it! If I died well dressed it would be because I'd been a veg for long enough that nursing home volunteers were choosing my outfits...... __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2012, 08:35 PM	#6
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	your posterior does not look big, it looks hippopotamus. erectile disfunction is foretold for you your enema will be strong and numerous __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2012, 08:36 PM	#7
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423

02-09-2012, 08:37 PM	#8
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	your nude pictures await your discovery on the internet __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2012, 08:37 PM	#9
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	This is your last fortune cookie ever! __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

02-09-2012, 08:38 PM	#10
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	we saw you make slitty eye sign behind waiter back __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2012, 08:46 PM	#11
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	You so stupid, you think cookie know better than you. You right. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

02-09-2012, 08:49 PM	#12
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	you just ate that cookie, didn't you? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-09-2012, 09:23 PM	#13
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	"You will die like a dog for no good reason." Not mine, but Hemingway's. But it seems appropriate here. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

02-09-2012, 09:32 PM	#14
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Your gender will be defined for you Your gender role is pre-determined Your egg roll is pre-despermined __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-10-2012, 01:40 PM	#15
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	The thing your mother warned you about will happen. Your worries are right - your genitals are mis-shapen. The one you depend on the most will abandon you. You are right to fear the stairs.

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