Invent a sexual position

ZenGum · 10-30-2012, 07:58 AM

The straight A - student with overdue essay on bottom, lecherous lecturer on top.

The interobang?! - sleeping with someone to get them off guard so you can ask them difficult questions.

The southern cross - developed specially for the back seat of a Monaro*.

*Aussie hoon car.

ZenGum · 10-30-2012, 08:14 PM

Oh come on, people!

(Yes, that sentence has a comma in it!)

The Electoral College - 540 dicks screwing 300,000,000 people, no lube.

The Hindenberg - enormous erection deflates catastrophically just before reaching home base. See "Oh the spewmanity!"

The Storm Surge - freak waves gush into her battery tunnel. (Too soon? That's what she said!)

Griff · 10-30-2012, 08:29 PM

Sexual position, like Sex Czar? Sorry our bureaucracy is too bloated for such.

infinite monkey · 10-31-2012, 08:12 AM

The Military Position: like the missionary position only with guns and violence.

34.5: You're all alone and very bendy.

infinite monkey · 10-31-2012, 10:25 AM

Starfuck (or, a Breve Bravo): Having sex in a venti cup of overpriced coffee while a third person pours steaming half and half over you.

infinite monkey · 10-31-2012, 10:47 AM

I tried Zen. Can't say I didn't try.

Trysex: when you realize you are, in effect, just masturbating yourself.

Trilby · 10-31-2012, 03:44 PM

Triple toe loop double axel with a swirl at the end.

I call it the Ice Creem Dream

Ibby · 10-31-2012, 03:55 PM

http://mormonmissionarypositions.com/

ZenGum · 11-01-2012, 10:06 PM

The Candidates' debate: two guys doing things with their tongues that no-one can believe.

The stock market: up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down... and a little bit sideways.

The apple maps: You want me to put it WHERE?

Trilby · 11-02-2012, 07:33 AM

I think Ibby's Gay Mormons win.

They have bicycle helmets and everything. Hard to beat that.

Clodfobble · 11-02-2012, 01:12 PM

As a side note, I am so disappointed that the "Book of Mormon" touring show isn't coming anywhere near Texas.

Gravdigr · 11-07-2012, 01:09 PM

The Administration - just a hard, dry ass-fucking, and a slap in the face.

infinite monkey · 11-08-2012, 12:34 PM

When you will only have sex, and lots of it, with illogical truth-twisting wannabe conservative shills...you are a Sex Adak.

Lamplighter · 11-08-2012, 12:54 PM

Big Sarge · 11-08-2012, 01:40 PM

Panda bangs are becoming popular in Asia. So here's a pic

10-30-2012, 07:58 AM	#1
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Invent a sexual position The straight A - student with overdue essay on bottom, lecherous lecturer on top. The interobang?! - sleeping with someone to get them off guard so you can ask them difficult questions. The southern cross - developed specially for the back seat of a Monaro. Aussie hoon car. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

10-30-2012, 08:14 PM	#2
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Oh come on, people! (Yes, that sentence has a comma in it!) The Electoral College - 540 dicks screwing 300,000,000 people, no lube. The Hindenberg - enormous erection deflates catastrophically just before reaching home base. See "Oh the spewmanity!" The Storm Surge - freak waves gush into her battery tunnel. (Too soon? That's what she said!) __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

10-30-2012, 08:29 PM	#3
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Sexual position, like Sex Czar? Sorry our bureaucracy is too bloated for such. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-31-2012, 03:44 PM	#7
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Triple toe loop double axel with a swirl at the end. I call it the Ice Creem Dream __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

10-31-2012, 03:55 PM	#8
Ibby erika Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: "the high up north" Posts: 6,127	http://mormonmissionarypositions.com/ __________________ not really back, you didn't see me, i was never here shhhhhh

10-31-2012, 08:12 AM	#4
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	The Military Position: like the missionary position only with guns and violence. 34.5: You're all alone and very bendy.

10-31-2012, 10:25 AM	#5
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	Starfuck (or, a Breve Bravo): Having sex in a venti cup of overpriced coffee while a third person pours steaming half and half over you.

10-31-2012, 10:47 AM	#6
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	I tried Zen. Can't say I didn't try. Trysex: when you realize you are, in effect, just masturbating yourself.

11-01-2012, 10:06 PM	#9
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	The Candidates' debate: two guys doing things with their tongues that no-one can believe. The stock market: up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down-up-down... and a little bit sideways. The apple maps: You want me to put it WHERE? __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

11-02-2012, 07:33 AM	#10
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I think Ibby's Gay Mormons win. They have bicycle helmets and everything. Hard to beat that. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

11-02-2012, 01:12 PM	#11
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	As a side note, I am so disappointed that the "Book of Mormon" touring show isn't coming anywhere near Texas. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

11-07-2012, 01:09 PM	#12
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	The Administration - just a hard, dry ass-fucking, and a slap in the face. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-08-2012, 12:34 PM	#13
infinite monkey Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 13,002	When you will only have sex, and lots of it, with illogical truth-twisting wannabe conservative shills...you are a Sex Adak.

11-08-2012, 12:54 PM	#14
Lamplighter Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods Posts: 6,402

11-08-2012, 01:40 PM	#15
Big Sarge Werepandas - lurking in your shadows Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the Deep South Posts: 3,408	Panda bangs are becoming popular in Asia. So here's a pic Attached Images __________________ Give a man a match, & he'll be warm for 20 seconds. But toss that man a white phosphorus grenade and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)